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WWYD?? My daughter has came home from school with "I hate you notes"

14 replies

Sophsmyth112 · 05/12/2018 14:58

Today I found 2 notes in my 6 year old daughters pocket when she got in from school. Both saying "I hate you (followed by her name)"
I asked her about these obviously and she got a bit upset and told me that the girl that sits next to her had given them to her.
The same girl that she's told me on several occasions she doesn't like sitting beside and who constantly talks and distracts her and tells her she can't play with the other kids only her. I've told her to ignore her and play with whoever she likes and tell the teacher if it happens again. I thought approaching the teacher over this wasn't called for and the girl was obviously just a bit chatty and just really wanted to be my daughters friend. But now today with the notes I decided this definitely needs brought to the teachers attention. I phoned the school and asked to speak to her teacher, told her about the notes things in the past etc but she didn't seem overally concerned nor did she fill me with confidence that anything would be done. I asked her what she would do and she said "I will speak to them both tomorrow but I don't think there was any harm in it" and she had to hurry off the phone because she is doing sets for the Christmas play. In my eyes I've two options either I go into the school tomorrow to speak to her face to face or just completely cut out the middle man and speak to the head teacher? What would you do? I just feel like she could have put my mind at ease a bit more than she did I told her I was a bit worried of how she was making my daughter feel but she didn't seem very concerned at all and made me feel like I was over reacting. Thank you in advanceSmile

OP posts:
RandomMess · 05/12/2018 15:01

Make an appointment to go and discuss how they are going to stop this child bullying yours...

Dictating who she can play with
Writing nasty notes

Both bullying, write down how long it's been going on for etc.

Is their bullying policy published? See if they are following it, can't find it ask for a copy etc.

Eatmycheese · 05/12/2018 15:06

That's heartbreaking. Your poor daughter.
I would immediately make an appointment to speak again to her teacher when you cant be fobbed off and if necessary the headteacher. That's really quite sinister behaviour for a six year old. Well it is time anyway.

Hope she's ok poor little thing 💐

Eatmycheese · 05/12/2018 15:06

*to me not time

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Singlenotsingle · 05/12/2018 15:10

I'd go in tomorrow and speak to the teacher. Tell her if she can't or won't deal with it you'll go to the head teacher. At the very least, the two girls shouldn't sit together.

Ohyesiam · 05/12/2018 15:11

No harm in it? I’d be livid.
Yes see the head, use the word bullying, ask to see their bullying policy and don’t step out of the office till you feel totally assured that the head will act on it.
I’m so upset on your daughters behalf that the teacher is basically pretending this is not happening to make her life easier.

MrsJayy · 05/12/2018 15:16

You need to go in asap keep the notes to show the teacher your dd deserves to be happy and feel safe at school yes they are only 6 but the girl needs to know I hate you notes are not ok.

Malaco · 05/12/2018 15:17

I don't agree with the teacher that there's no harm in writing nasty notes.

happytoday73 · 05/12/2018 15:22

oh dear!
Perhaps she was distracted and with a little time to think about it will deal with it effectively. I would however ring today and ask for face to face update early next week 're what has been done about this bullying. This may force a more robust response. It's absolutely is bullying but I would give teacher time to sort before going upwards.

children can be so mean!

Sophsmyth112 · 05/12/2018 15:22

I really don't want them sitting together to be honest, the stuff in the past I let it slide by because I genuinely thought it was kids just ending kids but reading a note that says I hate you with your daughters full name on it is just heartbreaking.
I would be absolutely devastated if it was my child had sent that note to another child.
I'm going to go in to the schools tomorrow morning when I take her and speak to her again and demand they are moved away from eachother and bullying addressed.
The teacher just made me feel like I was overacting and it wasn't as big a deal as I had thought it was Blush

OP posts:
Oblomov18 · 05/12/2018 15:23

Teacher sounds dismissive. And not reassuring.
I agree with pp: I would ask to speak to her - mention the word bullying, ask for dd to be moved and tell her you found her attitude yesterday dismissive.

MrsJayy · 05/12/2018 15:26

Sometimes teachers can't see it because they see it every day not that dismissi ng it is ok but what she sees as silly will have an affect on your Dd ask for her to be moved seats for starters

Malaco · 05/12/2018 16:43

I wonder if it would help to put it in an email. She may have been rushed off her feet with her mind on other things and not taking in everything you'd said that the girl had done. If it's in an email she can read and digest it when she has a spare moment.

happytoday73 · 08/12/2018 18:26

OP...did you manage to sort it?

MaisyPops · 08/12/2018 18:30

It's bullying at that point and needs dealing with. Your poor DD.

You're right when you say some blindness is kids being kids, but this is past that. Keep notes on what happens and is also be seeking a meeting with the teacher to discuss it.
If you don't get anywhere then you need to follow up the chain until it is dealt with.

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