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Original poster

Dcs won't go to sleep...please help.

33 replies

Santaselfhasarrived · 04/12/2018 21:02

As the title says really, I put my dcs to bed at 8pm and most nights they don't end up going to sleep until 10pm sometimes later, dts1 didn't go to sleep last night until 12am
They are constantly up and down coming in and out of their room, then in the morning they won't wake up.
I'm absoulty wrecked as I'm going to bed later each night, I really don't know what to do anymore.
Any suggestions would be very gratefully received.

OP posts:
Delatron · 04/12/2018 21:04

How old are they?

Believeitornot · 04/12/2018 21:07

Wake them up at 7am every morning without fail. Even if they’re grumpy as hell

Put them to bed earlier, say around 7pm.

What’s bedtime actually like? What about the routine?

Delatron · 04/12/2018 21:11

Yes, don’t let them lie in, get them up early.

Are they old enough for consequences for not going to bed and staying in their rooms? If they are you need to get firm. Yes to putting them to bed earlier too.

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Original poster
Santaselfhasarrived · 04/12/2018 21:14

@Delatron they're 7 nearly 8

@Believeitornot Mornings are a complete nightmare, they have to get up at 7 anyway otherwise we will be late for school.
Bedtime routine is...bath, teeth, book and bed, although when it comes to getting in bed they moan, they're getting up laying in my bed, they're room is also a sty because they get up and play with toys.

I have to turn my Wi-Fi off at night as dts2 gets up in the middle of the night to watch tv or play on the iPad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Santaselfhasarrived · 04/12/2018 21:15

*their room

OP posts:
Fink · 04/12/2018 21:15

How old are they? It makes a big difference.

And what time do they need to be up in the morning?

maddiemookins16mum · 04/12/2018 21:16

Do the Supernanny thing....don’t engage after the first few times, just take them back.

empmalswa · 04/12/2018 21:17

Sit at their door. Every time one n moves out of bed send them right back. They will soon get the message.

Bloodybridget · 04/12/2018 21:19

Do you mean you have an 8yo who gets up in the night to watch television or play on an iPad?? Where's the TV? Can't you take devices away well before bedtime?

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 04/12/2018 21:20

Wake them up earlier, like 6pm? No toys in room (we don’t, although appreciate space could be an issue)? No iPad for a week? What are your consequences for doing something like getting up in the night to play on it?

Fink · 04/12/2018 21:24

Sorry, crossposted.

I would put them to bed earlier, around 7.30, lights out at 8. I would give them 20 minutes reading time in bed before lights out. Then when lights are out, it's no nonsense.

No technology (tv, computer, anything with a screen) for the last hour before bed.

If necessary, remove toys from the bedroom (I had to do this with dd).

Honestly, the institution of reading time before lights out was the biggest game changer for me.

Original poster
Santaselfhasarrived · 04/12/2018 21:24

No i have 2 7 year olds, one of which gets up in the middle of the night to watch tv or the iPad.
I remove the controller from the PlayStation and hide it, I also turn off the Wi-Fi so he can't access the internet on the tablet.

I've already changed their bedtime from 7 to 8 as I thought it may help as they didn't seem tired @7.

OP posts:
Delatron · 04/12/2018 21:24

You need to give them consequences at that age and follow through. So no screens for a week etc.

Delatron · 04/12/2018 21:26

I’m sorry but I would go batshit crazy if my children decided to get up in the middle of the night and put the tv in or play with the iPad. There would be serious consequences. They shouldn’t be able to access the iPad at night either or know where it is. Hide it!

AssassinatedBeauty · 04/12/2018 21:27

Agree with no toys in room, iPad put away, tv remote away etc. Then accept that you're going to spend as many evenings as it takes returning them to their room without any interaction beyond "it's bedtime". Make yourself comfortable just outside their room and return them

Original poster
Santaselfhasarrived · 04/12/2018 21:29

They're not allowed to use the computer during the week and get an hours screen time after school, it's their choice to either watch tv or use the iPad.

I am very strict with them in regards to consequences for bad behaviour, however i still cannot them to sleep at night no matter how I punish them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Santaselfhasarrived · 04/12/2018 21:33

@Delatron believe me I do go batshit at him, I also hide things but he searches for them and there's not much I can do if I'm asleep and don't hear him getting up.
He has been like that since he was a baby, would sleep for a few hours then be up in the night just laying im his cot wide awake, whilst dts1 would be asleep.

OP posts:
Fink · 04/12/2018 21:35

I would make it clear to them that they have to stay in bed whether they sleep or not. That's made a difference with dd as well. She knows that if she can't sleep she just has to lie still and relax, there's no getting up just because you haven't got to sleep.

Fink · 04/12/2018 21:38

Can you remove the fuse from the plugs of big things (tv)?

Original poster
Santaselfhasarrived · 04/12/2018 21:39

I will Check in a minute as they seem to be asleep now, so will try a few things suggested tomorrow night.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 04/12/2018 21:41

Is it worth speaking to your GP about your DS's disrupted sleep. It's quite unusual for a child to wake so consistently.

I'd put the devices and controllers in locked box under your bed for now, if he is still searching for them despite the consequences.

heather1 · 04/12/2018 21:43

If none of the usual techniques work maybe they have a melatonin issue. Doctor could check that out. Also boys (and most girls) need to be exercised like dogs imo. Are they getting enough outside time for running around/ riding bikes etc. Can be adapted for bad weather - dancing, Simon says. How many times can you starjump in 1 min etc

Justdontknowwhattothink · 04/12/2018 21:43

How old are they?
Regardless of age establish a bedtime routine, what ever there age.
Think about when to stop screen time, we do computers off before evening meal.
Bath, lavender oil in the water ( if not allergic)
Story in bed
Listen to cds of calming music, or meditation for kids,
Last trip to the loo
Then no one out of their rooms
I either stay upstairs and do jobs or I sit on the stairs with my iPad, catching up wi Emails or more likely mumsnet, so the minute I hear anything untoward I’m on it very quickly

DeathMetalMum · 04/12/2018 21:47

I agree, up to bed for 7 teeth, wash and story in bed for 7.30 and give them half an hour of 'reading time' dds then lights out at 8pm. 'Reading time' often involves dd2 'going to the toilet' for 20 minutes but generally gives them time to just chill out a bit and we have lights out and books on shelf about 8.

We have many times suggested to dd1 almost 8 that she could go downstairs in the morning at the weekend - early riser and up at 6 or earlier by herself and watch tv. She has just decided it's okay but still asks to go down at six in the morning completely missing the point. Neither would get up and put the tv on in the night. Certainly wouldn't do it again if they tried to either.

Delatron · 04/12/2018 21:48

It is unusual for kids to wake and roam in the night so definitely see your gp. I think in some cases they can prescribe melatonin to help.

If the consequences aren’t working then they need a rethink. What do they care about? What could you take away? Or reward for staying in their rooms?!