Christmas blues.

[Fairytalefaye]

Just want to rant really and everyone I speak to just seems to have their shit together.....

First of all let me just say I love Christmas and I enjoy everything I can get to do with my kids but what's really getting me down is the money side of things which I know alot of people are in the same boat but how do you deal with it?? I have literally stayed up most nights either crying or looking at a blank wall wondering how to get this all done, I started my Christmas bits at the end of September but every year just seems to be more and more expensive, both the kids schools just keep asking for money and if i don't pay then my child don't participate, how can i not pay to let my child see santa when I know that all the other kids are going to go and get presents, there is more that i have to pay for with the school just used that as an example. It just seems that everything is mounting up and I'm drowning at the end of a long list of crap that needs doing or paying for, it ruins my Christmas and down the line my kids Christmas because I'm just angry or sad all the damn time!

Adverts on tv show happy family's and fun but behind the curtain there is alot of people that suffer and like I said I enjoy the extra family activities I get to do with my kids but there's always that nagging in the back of my head that I'm a shit mum and should do better even thou I swear I'm trying!

Op how old are your dc?

Older teenagers maybe harder to help with but, maybe on Xmas board you may get some help?

For younger dc I managed with free cycle, charity shops, second hand. Then I started to save a few pounds a week and 10 a month into special jar. All extra money went into jar.
It really really helped to have this to draw on for Xmas.
Your not a shit mum, most people do struggle at Xmas.

Also if yiu read any Xmas thread on what makes it special people always remember the time spent playing board games etc

I'm the same.

Your not a shit mom. You are doing the best you can and your children will realise that when there older.

It's not all about presents. Looking back... I cant remember any pertcular present that I got... I but remember helping my mom and nan with dinner.. Drinking pretend wine.. Having dinner with my family.. going to my aunties Christmas day with all my family.. Playing games and having fun with my cousins... While the adults got drunk lol. Its not all about presents. Just be happy to have your kid with you have have a fun day. I know its nice to see your kids opening there presents and seeing them happy. If your struggling can you ask your family to help out? This year my son wrote a list. I got the main present and a few of the smaller presents I ask my family to pick on of the list to get. Kids don't need a load of present. I got myself in to so much dept a few years ago trying to get everything and most of the stuff.. He never even played with. I know there's alot a pressure on.. But do what you can and don't stress.

I buy second hand presents and fewer- this has been going on for a few years now for me, and honestly, it's not noticed. It really is true that they want your presence more than presents and if you buy second hand board games and plan outdoor activities it's a brilliant season.

The school issue I completely agree with you, mine has asked for - £10 to see a panto, £7 Father Christmas, £7 to go to a reindeer parade, AND asked if I want to buy 10 cards my dc made for £10 (how about no?) on top of that there's nativity plays- 2 shows each at £2 to get in. School costs £60 minimum in dec. it's awful and there's no escaping it that I can see. I sold stuff that we don't use to pay for it.

I hope you have a great Christmas

I think it's really unfair that schools put us in that position so close to Christmas and how can you say no when all the other kids are going? . I've just paid 19 pound for one trip! I agree with the selling stuff. Before I was abit reluctant to sell mine and sons stuff but when it gone, You don't notice it... Plus you can use the money to buy stuff you do need. I had some expesive jewelry from an ex... I don't know why I wanted to keep hold of it.. But I ended up selling it last year to get my son his ds for Christmas.

Thank you so much for your replies and there is some really great advice in there that I'm going to take on board and do, I think that as parents you put alot of pressure on your self and I just let it get to me sometimes. I know it's not about the presents and I honestly don't go over board, never have and never will but sometimes it just hurts when I feel I've let them down. Oh and dd is 6 and ds is 9. For the rest of this Christmas season I'm gonna throw myself into playing and having fun as much as I can with my kids, they are looking forward to burning baking mince pies.