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Original poster

Neighbour dispute - I am desperate!

49 replies

NeighbourDispute · 03/12/2018 11:02

I’ve name changed as I have no idea if this woman uses Mumsnet.

Background: Myself and my partner live in a block of flats, second floor, private rented. We have recently had a baby who is now 10 weeks old. Before baby was born we had a good relationship with the lady who lives below us, she lives alone. Both myself and my partner used to go to bed 8/9pm at night as we are both early risers for work. Last Christmas lady downstairs knocked on our door with a bottle of wine and said how we were considerate neighbours.

Ever since we have brought our baby home from the hospital she has started banging on her ceiling/our floor as soon as we get up to walk or our baby cries.

Neighbour asked my partner one day a few weeks ago if we could feed and change our baby in a different room as it is keeping her awake. We were understandably mortified as we don’t want to be seen as nightmare neighbours. However I had a CSection and it was a struggle (sometimes still is to be honest) to physically pick my baby up from the cot and carry her through to our living room.

So what we started to do was stay awake until 11pm to give baby her last feed/nappy change and settle her in the living room. Then put her in her cot in the bedroom and go to sleep ourselves. We have also bought massive rugs for the living room and bedroom to try and minimise sound, something we really cant afford right now but we sucked it up.

The past couple of weeks the banging has changed from being just at night to all through the day. As soon as one of us gets up to do anything we are met with a constant BANG BANG BANG for ages.

It’s got to the point now that I feel anxious to hear my baby cry as I know the banging will start. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Last night at 6pmish I was making dinner and she was just banging for ages. I went downstairs and knocked on her door, she answered it with a rolling pin in her hand (she obviously uses it to bang on her ceiling). I asked if we could talk about this and she just screamed in my face “I’ll get you evicted you fucking bitch”.

I had enough and called 101 who sent out officers. I’m ashamed to say I burst into tears as the confrontation shook me up. The officers said we had done nothing wrong and went downstairs to talk to her. I could hear her shouting and the officers trying to calm her down, they told us to call back if anymore banging and 999 if she approaches me in the communal area when I am with the baby.

Now since my husband has left for work she is banging on the floor every hour or so and I can hear her screaming “You fucking bitch”. Honestly I am so intimidated, I’m scared to call the police again incase it escalates further. If this woman turns violent to me in a communal area and I am with my baby I physically don’t have the strength to defend myself because of my CSection scar which is still healing.

I’m just looking for reassurance really I feel so isolated and I don’t want to ring my husband and worry him while he is working.

OP posts:

anitagreen · 03/12/2018 12:18

My friend is currently going through this with her neighbour you need to keep calling the police it will be her who will be evicted not you please do not live in fear from this cunt of a woman.

StressedToTheMaxx · 03/12/2018 12:21

Further to all the pp suggestions, i would also call the letting agent to make them aware if the situation. They have a durty to their tenant and their neighbours.
You could also call to social services if you feel she is A danger to herself or others. They may be able to offer her some emotional support.

sprouts21 · 03/12/2018 12:27

You need to record the banging and shouting on your phone every single time and ring the police every single time. No to feeling sorry for her. The police can refer her to mental health services if necessary.

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llangennith · 03/12/2018 12:37

Call the police now while she's doing this. Don't wait till DH is home.

Handsoffmysweets · 03/12/2018 12:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

StrongTea · 03/12/2018 12:59

She may already be known to social services, wonder if the folk who lived in your flat previously had any problems. Phone the police, they do not have to visit but would note the call.

Jellyonawonkyplate · 03/12/2018 12:59

I would also suggest recording the noise on your phone if you can.

I think you do need to call the police but I can completely understand why you might be reluctant to. She sounds unhinged and very likely to become violent at some point. What a horrible situation

Jellyonawonkyplate · 03/12/2018 13:00

Does she own or rent?

HauntedPencil · 03/12/2018 13:07

I had a very similar situation when I let my flat out.

The downstairs neighbour started composing about them, just walking around leaving for work etc. At first they were extremely apologetic and did everything she asked however much it seemed unreasonable.

It escalated to her shouting at them, threatening to complain.

In the end I contacted the noise people at the council and they advised it was the noise made through them just living, no music or TV it was just walking around.

When it carried on I emailed her saying that they are doing their best to be as respectful as possible but it was getting to the stage where she was harassing them now and could she please stop. And it ended then.

I find with these people the more you pander to unreasonable demands the worse they get.

I would contact the landlord on your own back and advise of what's been happening and that means she can't threaten it.

If she's banging complain about it. Carry on living your lives.

Wagonwheelsandjammydodgers · 03/12/2018 13:11

Could you ask a friend over so you're not on your own and also ring 101. Or ring 101 and then go out once the police have been?

Redglitter · 03/12/2018 13:57

If the noise is going on just now you need to phone 101 now. If she comes to your door as a result you don't open.it and phone the police again. Don't wait til your husband comes home

Bluntness100 · 03/12/2018 14:00

Just call the police again, if you don't she's won. She's not your responsibility and she can't get away with intimidating and anti social behaviour. Just call them,

Aquamarine1029 · 03/12/2018 14:00

Don't wait for your husband. You need to call the police EVERY time. You are being harassed at an unacceptable level. You also need to report all of this to the landlord immediately. Obviously, if this woman ever comes to your door, even if your husband is home, DON'T open it. Don't engage with her in any way. I would also start recording her behaviour and the banging.

fussychica · 03/12/2018 14:18

Phone now. Do not wait for your husband to come home. Do not open the door to her if she comes up.

Original poster

NeighbourDispute · 04/12/2018 16:43

Hi everyone, I thought I’d come back to update.

Yesterday I went out with my Mum to get out of the flat and while I was out I received a call from the Safer Neighbourhood Team. They wanted to follow up and arranged to come round this morning.

So I had a visit from a really nice police lady who said she knows of neighbour downstairs and she will be taking this onto her caseload. She spoke to me a bit about installing a noise box, so I think we are going to opt for them. They also said to give them a call if neighbour approaches me at all. Social services are now also involved to see if they can provide support for lady downstairs.

So they seem to be taking this a lot more seriously than I thought they would.

Thank you to everyone who were really kind to me yesterday whilst I was in a bit of a panic. I really appreciate it!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 04/12/2018 16:50

That's a great update. I hope it all calms down.

CaptainsYuleLog · 04/12/2018 16:54

Good update, OP. I hope it helps.

Santasushi · 04/12/2018 16:55

Great news op.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/12/2018 16:56

They are taking this very seriously because this lunatic must have quite an alarming background. Do everything the police suggest and stay well away from her. Never answer your door to her or respond in any way. I'm so glad you're getting the support you need.

HollowTalk · 04/12/2018 17:00

She can't be that sensitive to noise if she's making such a racket herself!

What's a noise box, OP?

Singlenotsingle · 04/12/2018 17:06

Complain to the managing agents/ landlord as well as the police. She's in breach of the terms and conditions of her lease if she's harrassing her neighbours.

ItIsChristmasTime · 04/12/2018 17:08

That’s a good update and I hope this matter is resolved soon.

As a side note, has anyone recently checked out your CS scar? I’ve had three and after ten weeks (even after the time I had a huge number of complications), I was fine lifting a ten week old baby out of a cot and carry into another room. It might be worth just checking everything is healing properly.

OliviaStabler · 04/12/2018 18:03

Glad you are getting some good support OP

HauntedPencil · 05/12/2018 12:45

Really good news OP.

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