So ive been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We have a child and home together been ttc for baby number 2 for nearly 6 years, finally started investigating why its not working. Still waiting for a proposal which he claims will happen, when he's ready.
For the around a year now ive been feeling like he is being distant and hiding things, ive confronted this many times for him to tell me im being paranoid and that he isnt doing anything wrong, i dont think he is cheating for a second, but i know he being secretive about something.
so i checked his phone last night and in his messages to his mum and sister he asked them make out his mum had brought the beers she was dropping round "as she'll moan otherwise" 
he is self employed and work has been quite so money is very tight,
meanwhile im stressing i cant cover the bills never mind do xmas ,while he is hiding money to buy beers!
Last weekend we went out for a df 50th and in his messages i found it suggests he did drugs and he had the rest of the stuff which his friend picked up the next day, i confronted him but didnt tell him i had checked his phone, and he lied, denied it and even did a little laugh as if what i was saying was so ridiculous.
Why lie when i know!
Ive never questioned him before the past year or so, even being quite proud of the fact that he told me the truth despite how i might react,
but i keep catching him in lies mainly about how much he is drinking or smoking and doing god knows what.
Am i over reacting? Being a crazy gf.
I feel like im going round in circles with him when im trying so hard to better our life, eg looking to save for a mortgage, doing courses for a better job/career
Sorry its so long.