Polite yet believable excuses to get out of staff night out?

[LeeRoar]

Hi there

Wondering if you lot could help me. I've been working myself up over the annual Christmas night out at work next week and my anxiety is sky high at the thought of it. Loud music, big crowds, unable to hear anyone and I've recently had a baby so not wanting to be away from DC is another factor. Not to mention I don't really have the money for an outfit and I feel super fat in everything...

My plan is to send my boss the money he's put in for me and say sorry I can't make it. But if the other girls at work start asking why and making me feel guilty about it I want to be prepared with a good excuse.

Any tips?

Why can't you just tell them what you've told us? Seems completely fair enough to me!

My usual excuse is I don't like people. 😂😂

If you need the excuse in advance (so can't plead sudden illness on the night) then realising it clashes with a prior engagement is a good one. Something you're obliged to go to but which isn't particularly exciting, such as a family dinner, avoids generating too much interest.

Or, you could be semi-truthful and say that with the new baby, you're just too tired for a big night out and you think it's a bit soon to leave DC.

Just use the baby as an excuse?

I'm the same about mine. Going for a fancy meal thats not really my thing, will be out till 8.30 / 9pm and i could really do without spending the money. Ill be 33+3wks pregnant and am usually in bed by 9 feel like a bit of a killjoy cancelling tho.

Poorly baby (nothing too serious obviously), childcare fell through or both!

Are you breastfeeding? If not, have you been vocal about not breastfeeding.

Because “Disaster! Baby won’t take a bottle! Night out ruined!” is a good one.

Even if baby is generally formula fed you could say that you were feeding at bedtime and for some reason baby won’t take a bottle at bedtime. Babies are contrary little monkeys like that!

'I don't want to' would be the most believable & everyone else would be secretly applauding you for having the guts to say it! But last minute emergency baby crisis is your best bet ' bloody babysitter', 'running a temp', 'DH late home'. Don't forget to be seriously enthusiastic about the night beforehand!!

Being with your DC is a reason not to go. You don't need an excuse.

I hate these as well

blame the baby

Thanks everyone! I think I'll go with the child care fell through option. Baby has never spent a night away from home yet so I think they will be more sympathetic about me not wanting to send baby on first night over stay just yet... well hopefully!

I normally say I have family down from ............ And we don't see them often so its a family get together

My DC have provided endless marvellous excuses for not going to things for years! They’re nearly grown up now, so I need some excuses!

I said that I didn't want to hang out with those losers more than I had to and stuck my tongue out. One of them threw a paperclip at me and thanked god and we all moved on. Do some offices actually get upset that people don't go?

You - "That's not my idea of a fun evening out so I don't want to go"
Your collegues - "whatever"

Someone has just cancelled ours with an hour to go claiming food poisoning.

Someone else cancelled this afternoon with a photo of her kid in a&e with his leg in plaster. I'm assuming that one is genuine.

You have a little baby. That's all the excuse you need!

"Do some offices actually get upset that people don't go?"

yes. I got so much hassle in one place, the next place, I just lied to get out of it. It was kind of nice to be honest in the other place, but there were definitely a few people who were very unhappy about it.

the really stupid thing was, I went to the first work do at the place where I ultimately stopped going. But people were so drunk/falling over etc that I just couldn't bear it. There were some nice people there, we went to another bar as a group of 3, but the whole company outing was just horrible. I'm not against having a few drinks, but the absolute state of it...and some of the male members of staff were just basically propositioning every woman, and I was like...no.....

You - "That's not my idea of a fun evening out so I don't want to go" Your collegues - "whatever"

Not in my experience. It's usually

'Oh come on! It'll be fun. What's not to like? Let your hair down you misery. Just come for one' ad infinitum

I have used sock marks as an excuse.

It was a staff party during the summer. I was half thinking of going but not really into it. I had intended to wear a summer dress but after work, my unsightly sock marks meant that I couldn't possibly go with bare legs and I had nothing else to wear.

Got out of that one nicely

kevintherootvegetable

Lmao

That is an amazing excuse

I stopped going to my work Christmas dos a while ago. I just said that I was ‘not good in crowds’. Everyone was fine about it.

This year I said what I always say and that is simply no thanks, not my thing.
I don’t do people, don’t drink and can’t afford it.
That covers just about every aspect.
So far I’ve never been challenged on this, but happy for a fight if one is needed.

I really hate work dos. Compulsory directed fun is not for me! I just decline and don't give a reason. You don't have to go to anything you don't want to go to

If you're not able to just say no to these things (and I know some people struggle, I used to suffer terribly with social anxiety) then the thing you must always remember is Do Not Commit! That's the mistake people make!

I know it's hard - colleagues are chatting enthusiastically, making plans, "Oh you'll come won't you Lee, you have to come" and you feel like a rabbit in the headlights so hear yourself saying "Oh yes, sounds GREAT". Then you're thinking Gah, WTF?.

If this is you then you must learn the skill of Not Commiting. You can make enthusiastic noises if you feel you must but remember your mum was going on about that family celebration dinner? It's either that weekend or the next, you won't know til selfish bloody SIL stops with her drama so you're not sure yet. Or maybe that's the month MIL is expecting to have a (little, nothing too serious) procedure and she'll need looking after. No date yet grrr, bloody NHS, poor MIL etc . So unfortunately you're not sure yet. And so on and so on cos once you start with this stuff you'll be amazed how easily the lies trip off your tongue. Then after a couple of days or a week, when the big group plan is set in stone, you can do the "Oh it's so unfortunate, what are the chances, ah well you all enjoy yourselves" thing and you're home free .

If you can say no but need a good excuse then you're more than halfway there. There's the examples above (with firm dates), there's your sibling/cousin/friend who'll only be home from foreign parts that weekend, there's the clash with your sisters anniversary night out, her dc are having a sleepover at yours don't forget, there's DHs best friends 40th... Oh it's such a shame, otherwise you'd have loved to!

These days I'm well able to politely decline these things just because I don't want to go but sometimes you really do need an excuse and in those circumstances it's always good to have a selection of lies escape options in your repertoire.