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Original poster

Twelve year old DD felt up on the Tube

60 replies

Obamallama · 01/12/2018 07:10

Last night my DD was travelling home from school on the Undeeground as normal. She says a man sat down next to her and a minute later she felt his hand on her leg. She was wearing a PE which was a skort and quite short.

She froze and his hand went toward her inner thigh. Her thought was to try and get off at the next stop but thankfully a woman opposite her saw what was happening and said “get off her”. The man then got up and got walked down the Tube, jumping off at the next stop.

DD can’t remember what he looked like so we can’t report it.

My question is what should she do if this happens again? I have suggested that as long as others are nearby she should stand up and loudly shout “This man is a stranger and he just touched me.” But in all honesty I’m not sure she would do that. I then suggested just getting up and moving to a seat next to a woman. What would be your advice?

I hate that we live in a world where a twelve year old girl must be briefed in this way :-(

OP posts:
Maryjoyce · 01/12/2018 07:57

Report as hopefully cctv caught him

Longtalljosie · 01/12/2018 08:10

"I am a child, get off me" is excellent. Your poor DD. I think reporting it is important as it will alert the staff. Where he got off is probably not much help, it will have been to escape probably.

I am angry your DD needs to consider modifying her clothing too - but perhaps a pair of fleece-lined, loose joggers which she can just pull over her skirt? They'll be warmer for the winter also.

littleducks · 01/12/2018 08:28

Whilst I understand you trying to teach her tips for a 'next time' (so angry that we all kind of accept that something similar will happen in future) i'd suggest go easy for a couple days and reassure her it wasn't her fault. Something similar happened to me on train at 11/12 and I felt to blame for being scared and not fighting.

Trackies over the top on way home probably a good idea if only to make her feel less vulnerable - she may feel less comfortable.

Report to BTP and school, there were recent prosecutions of men sexual assaulting people on buses due to CCTV footage.

safetyfreak · 01/12/2018 08:31

I agree with the others posters but it is also important you teach your daughter in that situation to speak up or walk away.

If she cannot speak up, then walk away. Sadly this is the world we live in and being felt up on the tube is pretty common thing I have heard for females.

Disgusting 'men' getting their kicks from this. What a world.

Longtalljosie · 01/12/2018 08:34

Also tell her it’s completely normal to freeze. The more I think about it, the less likely it seems she’d be able to tell on a crowded tube while terrified, should it happen again.

God bless that woman for stepping in...

Chocrock · 01/12/2018 08:40

Report it. Chances are it will be on CCTV and they can catch him, the creep.
Please reassure her that this is not her fault, she has done nothing wrong.
My advice for the future would be shout, make sure others are aware of what is happening. Decent people will help if they are aware of it, just as the lady did for your DD.
I hope she is ok.

SarfE4sticated · 01/12/2018 08:40

Ugh some people are such wankers. Thank god that lady stepped in. I hope that if you report it there would be a ‘serious assault’ poster at the station and someone will step forward. Putting the onus on your DD to prevent it seems wrong in a way, it could have been a lot worse if she’d been standing. Report it and get the BTP to sort it.

Flutternotsoshy · 01/12/2018 08:41

London underground has cctv everywhere.

However whether it's on the tube itself depends on which line. Some of the older lines do not have cctv, where's Athens newer tubes (district, circle, metropolitan etc) have it on board. Still worth reporting so they can check.

The BTP text number is 61016 tell her to save it into her phone. It somehow works even in the tunnels.

Please report it and if, god forbid, it ever happens again get off at the next station and tell staff. If no visible staff hit the information button on the help point on the platform. White circular box, they'll have at least one on every platform.

Tube staff deal with this on a regular basis and will help. And if they find the culprit the BTP will prosecute.

(I work for LU, and have had to go to court as a witness for this scenario before. More people need to report these incidents so we can get these #"&!@&s caught)

SquirmOfEels · 01/12/2018 08:41

This may be teenage invented anecdote, but my DD (young teen) tells me that similar happened to someone in her year. Who shouted 'I'm only 12, take your hand off you filthy paedo'. It was the man who made the swift exit.

But not everyone will want to shout out, or couid became frozen with shock/disbelief, and your DD needs to know that is normal and common too. I hope she's OK now.

Yes is horrible that people prey on children. You might want to find out what if anything the school teaches about assaults, whether sexual or violent. For example, what to they teach pupils to do if someone threatens them to steal phone/money? Not anecdote - DS's close friend was mugged on his way back from school age 11

Flutternotsoshy · 01/12/2018 08:41

Whereas. Not where Athens. Stupid autocorrect

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/12/2018 08:45

Your dd might not remember what this beast looked like but CCTV will.
please report him.

Skatersbeskating · 01/12/2018 08:47

FFS

claraschu · 01/12/2018 08:48

That is terrible.

I just wanted to say that my daughter would be unable to shout, or even speak, in this situation. I know she would freeze with terror and mortification, and actually I think lots of people would. Sad I think that role play will help, but even a self defence class hasn't made my daughter tough enough to deal with something like this, unfortunately.

My mother was born in 1927, and she used to carry a hatpin in her hand on the NYC subways because men would crowd up too close to her when the car was full. Very useful to have a sharp metal object to jab at a wandering hand, when it is so crowded you can't even tell whose hand it is.

daisy2002 · 01/12/2018 08:55

The new modern trains on the district line, circle and metropolitan lines all have cctv on them.
All stations have loads of cctv on them as well.
Just a bit of advice .... I am a tube driver.
I would recommend pulling the emergency alarm for something like this so it stops the train if between stations.... it's give the driver the opportunity to speak to you and if on the new trains we can see you whilst you're talking to us ... and it gives us time to call and get assistance at the next station.
On the older trains such as the Piccadilly line which I also used to drive, there is no cctv on those train but there is the facility to talk to the passenger and get assistance at the next station.
4 of my kids all travel on the tube to school and would also tell them the same thing if that happened to them or someone was picking on them.
Obviously the passenger emergency alarm isn't a toy .... it scares the crap out of the driver when it goes off lol but when it comes to someone's safety I'd rather it be used than not be used.
Please also report this to BTP.

EugenesAxe · 01/12/2018 08:55

Your poor DD and you; what a sicko.

If it did ever happen again I’d advise her to make an obvious reactionary response, like a sharp pull away with a shout of “Get off!” - when people look around (I’m sure they would) she can say “I’m only 12 and he had his hand up my skirt!”

Somehow, making a measured statement about my age and his action as the first thing I said, would feel odd? Shouting out would feel less embarrassing.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 01/12/2018 08:59

Please please listen to @Daisy2002 OP

I’m sure the Victoria line newer trains have CCTV on them now; the oldest rolling stock seems to be on the Pic line.

Whatever. I’m sorry and upset and angry for your poor DD and of course you x

Shoxfordian · 01/12/2018 09:09

Ugh. This is awful, your poor daughter.
Its still worth reporting to the police though

OliviaStabler · 01/12/2018 09:27

I'd recommend shouting out. If she can't do that just turning and asking for help from the person seated next to her is a good idea. People on the Tube will help her.

MrDonut · 01/12/2018 09:35

I think shorter is better. Teaching her to say, "Don't touch me!" is best. I don't think it's advisable to teach her to slap him or hit him.

Definitely report it to the school and police. Hope they catch the bastard.

TroyKing · 01/12/2018 10:10

If she's nervous about speaking up then buy her a whistle. Put on a ribbbon around her neck that she can blow on to draw attention.

seven201 · 01/12/2018 10:18

Your poor DD. I am so glad the lady opposite saw. Did she speak to your daughter after?

I think teaching her about requesting help
"Help. I am 12 and a stranger is touching my thigh". If I heard that on the tube I'd definitely come and help and if possible try and get a photo of the man and contact the transport police. So horrid that this kind of shit happens. Definitely let the school know.

Oblomov18 · 01/12/2018 10:21

Your poor DD. What an awful thing.

FancyRibbon · 01/12/2018 10:54

yes ‘I am a child, get off me!’ in a loud voice.

redsummershoes · 01/12/2018 10:59

yes report it.
each tube station has staff at the exits.
transport police no to text: 61016
to call 0800405040

Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 01/12/2018 11:00

You may not want to do this but what about making a Facebook post to ask for help finding the witness, the time of day and also what stop he got on at and what tube line?

The witness may remember more or may have already reported it.