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Original poster

Is it normal to feel hopeless during building work?

51 replies

Autumnsunrise · 30/11/2018 20:38

Currently having new bathroom fitted. Started well but today hit a few issues and now another one has appeared and I can't get hold of my builder.

Is it normal to regret ever starting it and just being fed up of your house in disarray? Please can someone tell me it will all be ok?
I'm a strong and happy person normally but I just want to hide under a pile of coats and cry. And then I feel bad because some people got real problems.

OP posts:

Carolcool · 01/12/2018 09:27

This is me right now too. Front room and hall knocked together, new fireplace and stove and replaster and redecorate the whole lot plus 2 sets of stairs and landing.

Horrendous. I never imagined it would be so horrible to live through.

Hang in there everyone.

Original poster

Autumnsunrise · 01/12/2018 09:30

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I spoke to builder just now. Feel calmer.

Forgot to say in first post. Name change and all that

OP posts:

Junebug123 · 01/12/2018 09:36

Yes, I was pregnant at the time and desperate to nest but couldn't. Absolutely hated it. Worth it in the end. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Carolcool · 01/12/2018 09:39

This is me right now too. Front room and hall knocked together, new fireplace and stove and replaster and redecorate the whole lot plus 2 sets of stairs and landing.

Horrendous. I never imagined it would be so horrible to live through.

Hang in there everyone.

TonTonMacoute · 01/12/2018 10:31

Yes. We desperately need our bathroom redoing, and I have been putting it off for two years for exactly this reason. I'm really dreading it!

codswallopandbalderdash · 01/12/2018 10:37

Yes, I'm afraid I have had some bloody terrible experiences with building works. Too many trades seem to forget that you are paying their wages /are the customer and behave like they are doing you a favour simply by turning up (and then sitting texting on their phones for half a day)

That said there were one of two professionals amongst the rest.

smorgasborgen · 01/12/2018 10:45

In 37 weeks pregnant and having the kitchen done. Carpenter came and worked really hard and got kitchen in in about a week but now waiting on electrician, tiler etc.... You think there coming and then they don't.. I've just gone on mat leave but it was a nightmare as I would drive 20 miles from work t sleep at mother in laws t come back T find they hadn't even being (I worked nights)
Everything is everywhere and I have a toddler who is desperate t watch/fiddle etc!

DuggeesWooOOooggle · 01/12/2018 10:50

It took me a good 6 months after our kitchen knock-through was completed to be able to enjoy it. It still wasn't finished, we had more painting to do and DH spent far too long filling and sanding every little blemish, we had to get the builders back to finish things properly and it left such a horrible taste in my mouth. All that money and stress and I couldn't enjoy it.

I love it now and can appreciate how the way we designed it really works for us, but it took a long time.

stopinthenameoflove · 01/12/2018 11:01

I feel for you I had a horrendous time when I had extension 2 years ago . My mum has a bad time with her kitchen (no fault to kitchen fitter ) . I'm having my bathroom done I new year looking forward to it as would of like it done 2 years ago when had extension but ran out of money / had enough of builders . But I'm getting anxious about the mess and hope no problems with it .
Just think it will soon be over and it will be lovely

Original poster

Autumnsunrise · 01/12/2018 11:09

I can relate to every post! Hope these are helping others too.

OP posts:

Squeegle · 01/12/2018 11:10

Yes! I’m having the kitchen redone- it has been 3 weeks already. Am so fed up and wish we’d never started. Holding on day by day. It will be great sympathy to all in the same situation

Malaco · 01/12/2018 11:17

I tend to always be patronised by workmen. I think because i come across as accommodating and not that confident. Probably if i was confident and stood no nonsense I'd be condescended to less.

Sallycinnamum · 01/12/2018 11:28

Yes! We're in loft conversion hell at the moment.

We thought it would be finished before Xmas but there have been so many delays I've had to cancel the decorator and carpet because there's no way it's going to be finished in 3 weeks.

To add insult to injury they've now got to take down our landing ceiling on Monday which is going to be fucking awful judging by how bad it was when they broke through a few weeks ago.

It also looks alot smaller up there than I envisaged and I'm a bit worried here I'm going to fit everything in.

I'm sure it will all be fine when it's done but urghhh horrible when you have to live through it.

MiddlingMum · 01/12/2018 11:40

We bought a doer-upper, and I feel that once is enough. It's lovely now, but there were some very low moments. DH is very skilled, but taking down the kitchen ceiling when we had guests coming to stay that evening nearly caused a marital rift!

I once knew a woman with four children under 8 who stayed in their bungalow while it was converted to a house She was very sanguine and said as long as she had a toilet and a washing machine everything else was okay. I think they sometimes slept in a tent in the back garden. How she got them all to school/nursery in immaculate clothing was a mystery to me.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 01/12/2018 11:42

Our bathroom fitters were two weeks late starting, and the weather changed from late summer to sharp autumn. That meant freezing our arses off in the outside loo, and freezing everything off taking jug showers in the back garden. We had to warn our neighbour that if she heard splashing not to look out of the back window. DW is fairly presentable, whereas my naked form is a thing of horror. We lived.

Lucisky · 01/12/2018 12:16

It felt like groundhog day when we had a 6 month build. It was all project managed very well by the builder, so there was nothing to do but sit in the one room we had left and wait....and wait. Chosing fittings from catalogues was fun at first, but then became a chore. I was itching to get to the stage where I could actually start the decorating. I began to feel rather depressed actually.

Daisywho · 01/12/2018 13:19

Oh this thread has really helped me, to OP but thanks for starting it.

We’re 12 months into our reno and have a ten month old baby - we started when I was 7 months pg. It has been horrendous! First world probs I know, but having a newborn in winter with no liveable rooms except the bedroom nearly finished me off!

Almost there now and I think I’m almost ready to say it was worth it. NEVER AGAIN THOUGH

to everyone on this thread - hang in there!

Notaballetmum · 02/12/2018 05:17

Glad it’s not just us. I’ve been awake for over an hour worrying about a whole host of things-the majority related to the building work.
We should have been finished for Christmas but there’s no chance now. Kids are gutted we can’t put decorations up or have friends round.
I hate being so grumpy!

RangerLady · 02/12/2018 06:04

I feel rather trepidatious now. Currently going through hell with a house move that it making me ill with stress- to move to an old cottage that needs a new roof, bathroom, flooring, heating, plastering..... with DC who are 4 and 1. Oh god I hope we survive

Original poster

Autumnsunrise · 02/12/2018 07:40

Remember the mn mantra: this too shall pass!

OP posts:

Piccolino2 · 02/12/2018 11:07

Thank you for this thread. We're 7 months in to a 10 month project, have moved out of the house into a tiny tiny house with a 2 and 4 year old. There's always a million things to do, choose, organise, there's no room in our house for anything,-"" my lovely Christmas decorations are at the back of a storage room and I can't get to them and have no room anyway and I cannot escape anyone. 2 year old still in our room, DH driving me mad. Often feel quite depressed and overwhelmed and hope this is just the build effect. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's still quite a way off. Hoping I feel better in myself and less snappy with the kids when we move back in next year and hope it's worth all this money and stress.

Original poster

Autumnsunrise · 02/12/2018 11:37

Wow, some of these projects make my new bathroom pale in comparison. Hang in there everyone it will be worth it.

OP posts:

derxa · 02/12/2018 11:48

We had a flood a year ago. The drying out, renovations and snagging problems lasted about 8 months. We had no hot water or central heating during our lambing. We had a fight with the renovation company who refused to mend a cable which 'had been chewed by mice' and meant the heating tripped off. I could write pages on it.
I have post renovation stress.

MattMagnolia · 02/12/2018 19:15

Ours hasn’t even started because we can't find a single builder who wants the work/ answers our enquiries/returns calls or answers e mails/ turns up when he said he would.
We want 3 estimates but after a month we haven’t had 1.

Carolcool · 02/12/2018 21:59

Ours isn't finished but tonight we've made a semi liveable attempt at a living room, in amongst the chaos and half finished shit, and at least lit the new stove.
The dog approves!

Is it normal to feel hopeless during building work?

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