Need help - seriously down and feel like I'm not getting right support

[OCDpanic]

Suffer from a lot of MH issues. Have for many years now. Worst it's ever been at moment and feeling like mental health people aren't listening and aren't supporting as well as they could.

I can't get them to listen and I'm being painted as not making the effort myself but I'm taking meds religiously (but I think they're making me worse) I'm doing stuff they know I find incredibly hard, I'm trying really hard to stay on top of self care which I also find incredibly hard and I'm just exhausted with feeling like I'm doing all I can but not getting heard and not getting the help I need.

And I don't know where or how to get the help I need.

Something someone's said tonight (totally a kind thing not meant to upset me) has really got to me and I'm sick of being trapped by my illness and nobody's helping me sort it! I don't think they know how.

Partly inexperience with one aspect and partly they've not come across anyone as bad as me on something else. They just don't seem to have the knowledge/skill to help me but there's nothing else where I live not even charities etc as its really the exact opposite to a big city where there's more resources and more people so workers in this area in cities have a wider experience I guess.

I'm so completely fed up & feel like I'm just letting everyone down.

So if anyone can help with any suggestions of how to get heard to get the help I need I'd be so grateful of that.

Are you seeing a psychiatrist- do you have access to the crisis team / community mental health team?

I don't think you're letting anyone down though & I agree it's very hard keeping up with self care when you feel down.

So you're getting the meds and you're taking them religiously. Presumably you've had a diagnosis? What other help is you think you need, but aren't getting? You haven't really given us a lot of information.

I'm under Cmht, I hadn't seen a psychiatrist for years but cpn arranged a locum registrar one to visit a few months back. He was nice enough but doesn't know me and basically went along with nurses suggestions.

I have access to crisis team but last time I tried them the duty person I got was an idiot! Not at all helpful. So it's put me off using them in case I get that person again.

I don't like using them anyway as I have a long complex history and it means either repeating myself or they make suggestions/have ideas that given my history simply don't work.

I'm starting to get thinly veiled "threats" of the support I'm getting being withdrawn because I'm not "moving forward" which I find especially unhelpful!!

Sorry what info do you need? I'm writing under a Nc and don't want to say anything that will link to my usual username

I have severe diagnosed conditions though really they're all linked to the main condition which is OCD.

I'm on mirtazipine 30mg which I have been for several months now. I was started on 15mg which zombified me but that at least meant the anxiety was much reduced. Since it was increased to 30mg the anxiety has worsened again to the point I'm worse than I was before I started it!

After several weeks of me saying the anxiety was worse the nurse arranged for me to see locum psychiatrist. He prescribed pregabalin but I'm scared to take it due to the listed side effects, and users experiences I've learned from a thread I started here plus reading on MH forums.

Plus I think I need to come off the mirtazipine but I've read horrific things about that too. I can't decide if it's better to try and come off it while I'm already very ill or when I'm a bit better but risking being set back.

And the focus from nurse/Cmht is almost ALL on the meds, when I know that I need more than that.

I've raised that several times but I'm getting told I need to give the meds a chance first but they're not working.