Heading back to work after maternity - how not to breakdown?

[quiltedcameltoe]

So I've just dug into the side/back of my baby's high chair (I now know how Indiana Jones felt putting his hand in the creepy crawly wall thing) and as I was collecting freshly dropped, slobbery bits of cheese it occurred to me that I'm back to work in just a few weeks. This is my second so I've been back to work after my first BUT she's also my last. No more baby quiltedcameltoes for me.

I've just realised that my last ever maternity leave is coming to an end and I could honestly cry!

I seem to have largely pissed it up a wall too, we didn't do loads of groups, I spent the first three months adjusting to two children less than 18 months apart, the second three months encouraging my eldest to not love the baby quite so aggressively while mummy was so very tired and the final three months loving every moment (while cleaning food off my once immaculate walls).

If you've decided your last baby really is your last how have you come to terms with it once back to work? I've spent the whole time being very aware that her firsts are the last firsts I'll see. And while, part of me is looking forward to being able to drink a hot drink while it's still hot but the rest of me feels guilty about wanting a drink while it's still hot (not to mention the monumental guilt I feel at holing my precious last ever baby and pfb up in a very lovely nursery)
So wise MNetters, how do I do this? How do I make the most of the last month or so of maternity leave ever?

I always knew that I wanted two and once I had DC2, I knew my family was complete. I did still occasionally feel those pangs of those 'last firsts'.

What I have really enjoyed though is us growing together as a family. I love watching the children develop their own independent interests and form their own opinions. I like that they are less physically demanding so that me and OH can have some time to ourselves.

There are still lots of 'firsts' to look forward to, like when they turn 10 (double digits), starting secondary school,

You have loads of good times to come, and lots of firsts.
Making the most of the time you have left on mat leave? Do whatever you want, as much or as little as feels right for you. You don't need to cram in experiences or 'making memories' moments. Anything you do will not be remembered by the DCs. Just being together is enough! Play, read, talk, sing, dance, be silly, be noisy, be quiet, be active, be still. It's all good.
Nursery is great for DCs - socialising, sharing, learning skills, early education, messy play you would be scared to do at home etc etc.