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Y7 DS being picked on at school - WWYD?

3 replies

WordInYourShellLike · 29/11/2018 09:48

My DS has just told me that every single time he takes a packed lunch to school (3 times a week), there are certain kids in his year group who mess around with his food, steal it, grab it, hide it, run off with it. Yesterday his chocolate bar was taken and he didn't get it back at all. He frequently doesn't get to finish his lunch due to all this. It doesn't happen when he has a school dinner but we can't afford to buy more than 2 a week. We're really struggling as it is with all the demands for money for one thing or another.

I'm really not sure whether this falls within the category of bullying, despite the persistence - DS says it is very annoying and he did admit that it is a bit stressful. 3 of those involved came from his old small village primary school, from his own class, and didn't behave like this there. He is at a small secondary - less than 400 kids.

This is really worrying me - he hasn't seemed very happy for quite a while now and I have been doing my best to get to the bottom of it but he just says he's finding it hard having to get up at 6.45am every day (he didn't have to get up until 8am for primary school!) and is tired all the time. He gets at least 9 hours sleep every night so not sure I can put it down to this alone.

His best friend also seems to have dropped him since they started at secondary and I think this has really upset him although he won't admit it. He doesn't really have anyone now within school who is a good solid friend, who has his back and will be on his side.

I've talked to him about strategies at some length. He knows I'm ready to help in any way I can but I also want him to stand up for himself and not let people treat him so badly. I've helped him work out what to say, to see if he can get across to them that this is causing stress and he wants to be able to eat his lunch in peace, try to appeal to their better natures. I know 3 of the kids involved and I don't think they are bullies, but they need to know that this has to stop.

So what would you do? Should I wait and see if he can deal with it on his own or approach someone in school? What could they actually do? And could it end up with DS even more lonely and isolated? Sad

OP posts:
BlytheSpiritsSpirit · 29/11/2018 09:51

I would speak to the school today, before lunchtime. This is bullying as far as I'm concerned, and these children need to be told off.

As far as friendships, they do fluctuate in year 7, it's a tricky time. Maybe he can join a club, find other children with similar interests?

Bobfossil4 · 29/11/2018 09:52

Call his head of year. This is something we are there to deal with.

WordInYourShellLike · 29/11/2018 10:08

Thank you Blythe and Bob

He's on a school dinner today so a brief reprieve. Do you think I should give him a chance to see if he can sort this out himself? I do think this would be good for his self esteem and help him to be more resilient in the long run - he's really low on both at the moment. I am poised to take this further, just not sure whether to jump straight in or hold back a bit...

As for his friendships,, yes he is struggling a bit. He's not a club joiner, never has been. He's an introvert and can come across as a bit of a cold fish as with many shy people, though he really isn't, he just keeps things inside. I really hoped that secondary school would give him the opportunity to make more friends with closer interests but also as it is so small, there aren't actually that many Y7's!

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