This may be a long post so apologies!
My 14 yo son has had some issues with anxiety over the last year or so. Has been seen by GP and had some counselling sessions. Things seemed to be getting back in an even keel.
2 weeks ago I caught him stealing alcohol at home. It was taken off him before he had drunk anything.
Tonight he text me an hour after he had finished school to say he had stayed to an after school music club and was on his way for the bus. Because the weather was bad and he has a long walk from the bus stop I said I would track the bus and come out and pick him up from the bus stop.
I pulled up behind the bus as he got off and it was immediately obvious something wasn't right. He veered into the wall, righted himself and stumbled to the car. He fell through the car door, said he felt sick and jumped out and was sick on the pavement. I drove him home, sat him at the kitchen table with a glass of water and asked what he had taken/drunk. He was slurring his words and couldn't hold his head up. He knocked over 2 chairs and the kitchen bin just running to be sick.
At this point his dad said he was taking him to a&e. He point blank refused and started to get aggressive. He started to panic and was hyperventilating and saying he couldn't breathe.
I phoned 111 who said they would send a paramedic out to check him over. He still wouldn't tell us what he had taken.
Eventually he said someone had given him something and he swallowed it. He then said he had smelt it. When I asked what he said he had been drinking but couldn't remember what or where he had drunk. He asked to speak to my mum and just sobbed down the phone to her. She came round to speak to him properly and try to calm him down. (He has always had a better relationship with her than me. Can't be arsed getting into a debate about that as I already feel like shit for not being able to calm my own child).
In the meantime a paramedic called to check on him and advised all a&e would do was monitor him which we can do at home.
He eventually admitted he had been drinking vodka mixed with coke in a coke bottle that a friend (well call her Mary) had brought to school. Mary's dad is an alcoholic. He only divulged Mary's name on the promise that I wouldn't report her.
My mum has taken him back to hers as I have to work tomorrow and have only been in this job a week. I really can't take any time off. She is medically qualified and to be honest is probably the best person to look after him while he is in this state.
I will call school in the morning as obviously he isn't going to be well enough to go in. But based on my promise to not report Mary do I tell school that she is the one bringing in alcohol.
I know deep down that reporting Mary to school is the right thing to do morally. However, our relationship feels like it's on very thin ice at the moment and I feel like I'm betraying him by reporting her iyswim??
I'll also be making a GP appt for him and sorting some more counselling. He says he was drinking because he feels sad all the time and he doesn't know why.
I feel like I'm in such a precarious position.
WWYD? And please any opinions think about the entire story, not just the knee jerk moral answer??