FIL and cancer

[Toothpastesmudges]

NC but a regular - don't want this linking to my usual name

FIL previously had prostate cancer approx 12 years ago. He had treatment (radiotherapy) and it went away. As an aside at a medical check, it has been discovered to have come back. He is having hormone injections as he can't have the RT again.

He has had bleeding from his back passage for a few weeks. According to MIL he wouldn't go to the GP. MIL said she would say it was a large amount of blood. He has now and has been admitted to hospital due to low hemoglobin levels. He is having a camera to ascertain the cause and blood transfusion. The doctor has said to MIL it's not a lot of blood.

Being realistic, does this mean the cancer may have spread and changed? Details we get from MIL are vague - we live 150 miles away and DH doesn't like to ask for more info. I would like to know, what potentially we are facing.

We plan to go down in December just before Christmas. I have urged DH to just go down this weekend but he is hesitant and perhaps reluctant - saying what if he needs to go later on and cant get the time off work.

Any advice at all is gratefully received.

hopeful bump

I don't know if it's a good idea for us to speculate. The best thing to do would be for someone to travel to him and either visit him in hospital or attend an appointment with him.

That said recurrences of a cancer do tend to have a worse prognosis and I'm sorry your family is facing this.

Not necessarily. It might be completely unrelated. My father has had prostate cancer which had spread locally (so couldn’t have radiotherapy) for about the same time as your FIL.

He had a bout of rectal bleeding which he similarly refused to go to the doctor with, until it got to the point where my mother had to get him blue lighted because he lost so much blood. Turned out he had a rectal polyp, completely benign and once it had been cauterised, he was fine. He also needed to have blood transfusions because of his stupidity in leaving it so long. This was about 4 years ago now, and he has had no recurrence of the bleeding since.

So, overall a very similar picture to your FIL.

There are load of things which can cause

Thanks for your reply Snuggy

I've already said to my husband that I think he should go. I don't know if he doesn't understand and isn't putting 2 and 2 together. Or whether, understandably, he's scared to face things.

I'm scared if he waits.. it may be too late.

I suppose what I'd like is a handhold on how to guide him through all of this. I feel very out of my depth.

Difficult for you, Op.
Tbh it could mean the prostate cancer has now spread to involve the bowel, or it could be a primary bowel cancer and nothing to do with the prostate. It could also be another, non malignant cause, though with the history you give, this sounds unlikely.
The fact he needs a transfusions would be an indication that the bleeding was quite serious, or that your FIL was anaemic and the blood loss was ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back’.
It would be a good idea for your DH to go before Christmas for a day or two, just so he can get the whole story, and support his mother in getting in any support they might need, before the holidays, which will delay things IYSWIM

That was meant to say

There are loads of things which can cause bleeding from the bowel. He is in the best place for someone to get to the bottom of it (pun intended).

Can’t your DH go down on Saturday and back on Sunday to avoid missing work? Or does he work weekends?

Fitz It sounds almost identical. I hope it's something as trivial (although I know polyps and bleeding etc isnt)

He works alternate weekends Fitz This weekend being a weekend in

It probably makes more sense for him to go down after FIL has the camera, when you will have more of an idea what is going on.

Prostate Cancer UK have specialist nurses you can ring and talk to and a helpful website. There's probably not enough to go on yet but once you know more your DH or mil might find the helpful.