Hi everyone so here’s the situation. I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month. Me and him get along really well and have been on a couple of dates. I’ve fallen for him to be honest. He’s Muslim which doesn’t bother me as I’m open to dating people from different cultures races (I’m white by the way in case you were wondering) but his family are a lot more stricter Muslims than what he is. He hasn’t told his family about me yet which I didn’t really expect him to at this point but when we get serious I would like him to.
There are a few things that I have noticed that have unsettled me a bit and made me question what his true intentions are. First of all he doesn’t want to put any pics up of us on Facebook for a while because he has his family on there which is fine in the short term but again when they are told I would like pics up on Facebook. I understand you don’t need to put your whole life online and I don’t but I do post a lot of pics e.g. pics from events and stuff and it’s nice to show who your partner is online through pics. He was ok for me to put pics of us on Instagram as his family and friends couldn’t see them.
Secondly we were at a party at the weekend taking a few selfies. He said could I see your snapchat to see if you have anyone on there that I might know (he was holding my phone to take the selfie to get a different angle) I was like that’s fine and didn’t think much of it but today when I mentioned it to my mum she kinda freaked out and said that’s not normal and said I’m not the only girl he’s seeing cos if he’s only worried about his family then why would he look through my Snapchat as I don’t know his family therefore I don’t have them on Snapchat.
Thirdly he has cancelled a couple of dates last minute because of emergencies. When he told me the storied why he had to cancel something told me those stories don’t add up but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind.
Sometimes I get doubts and thoughts in my head such as “I’m not the only girl” “he’s never gonna tell his family about me” “he’s using me” I push those thoughts away because I just think they’re paranoid thoughts because I’ve been hurt and messed around by guys in the past. My family think he’s using me and he would only marry a Muslim girl because his mum only wants him to be with a Muslim which I’m not. The fact is I have fallen for him and I’ve been having hope that it could sonehow work out, my friends have met him and they like him. I haven’t met his friends yet.
When we are together the connection is there and he isn’t afraid to show me off in public so in a way that gives me hope. He is openly very affectionate towards me E.g. kissing, holding hands, putting his arm around me, playing with my hair etc and I love that.
Am I being paranoid? Is my family right about him? Will he commit when the time comes that we want to get into a serious relationship? Will he tell his family? Or is he just using me until he gets a Muslim girl?
Have any of you or someone you know been in a similar situation? How did that work out? Did it end well or bad?
At this time in my life I’m sick of being messed about by guys and I want to settle down in a committed loving relationship that will lead to marriage in a couple of years. I’m scared of getting hurt as just before I started seeing him I was seeing someone else who messed me about them before he ghosted me he said we were just messing about. I don’t want another time waster.