This is long so I'm sorry but I'm feeling so sad and lost and I don't have anyone to talk to.
I had a miscarriage Feb 2016 and I was devestated my husband was not at all supportive it was early so he told me it wasnt a real baby, etc and I really struggled to get over it.
He wouldn't try for another so that was hard for me too.
January this year he said he wouldn't try but wouldn't prevent either if I was that desperate. 6 months on June this year I finally got a positive test I was so happy and felt hopeful for the first time in so long. I got to six weeks and miscarried again it was physically harder bleeding was heavy and prolonged but again my husband didn't except it as a real baby and just wasn't ment to be.
We continued to not prevent pregnancy but I haven't managed to fall pregnant again I'm 38 and feel my time has passed that I'm too old. And wasted those two years after the first miscarriage as my husband wouldnt try.
I know in his heart he doesn't want a baby and every month I have a period he's relieved but I'm devestated. This month I've felt incredibly sad when my period came it seems like a cruel reminder that I'm too old and past it and a reminder of the miscarriages. And that I should be 5 months pregnant.
We had a chat this morning as he said I was making life miserable by the way I was feeling. He said every women goes through it, that they all get past the age of having babies and I should just move on, accept it and focus on something else in life, stop thinking about what could have been, because I can't change the way things have turned out. But I'm really struggling to accept it.
How do I feel better and not think about the babies I should have? If anyone can help me I'd be so grateful. I never told anyone about the miscarriages and I don't have any friends or close family so I'm hoping someone on here can help me.
Thank you for reading.