Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you leave baby alone?

379 replies

Mississippilessly · 28/11/2018 10:10

I have agreed to go and pick up a parcel for a friend tomorrow. DS is 10 weeks. I am going to have to take my DH so someone can stay with the baby - the parcel is too big for me to take him in. This seems crazy. Could I lock the car and run in? I have only just thought of itm

OP posts:
mummymayhem18 · 28/11/2018 15:44

No don't do it. Not worth the risk or hassle. Frankly I'm surprised that they have asked you. It's very cheeky. It's one thing if it's nearby but that's a big ask especially with a baby. Tell them sorry you can't manage it. They will have to arrange with someone else.

MrsJBaptiste · 28/11/2018 15:48

Ironfloor 😂😂😂

HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 16:05

Why can't you run straight out of a post office?

Give me a single reason. Just one.

And do you drive? Go for walks? I'm sure both are statistically more risky than going to a post office.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 16:07

Plus why on earth would the police just write someone up?

I think that's a fib tbh.

What use would that be? 😂

tryinganewname · 28/11/2018 16:14

I can't believe you agreed to make a 1.5 hour trip to pick up a parcel for someone else! I think DH would refuse to come too, not that I would have agreed either.

erykahb · 28/11/2018 16:23

I personally wouldn't
I always think that what happens if a car hits mine with my baby in it...

EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 16:23

I call fib too given that there is no specific law that states you cannot leave a child unattended, the law only states you should not leave them at risk which is vague at best and as already discussed no scenario is risk free so it's a matter of personal choice as to which one you accept.

For what it's worth, in childminding you're not in breech of Ofsted rules so long as children are in your sight and/or hearing. I clarified with the Ofsted inspector whether it was acceptable to leave children in the car when fueling, showed her my risk assessment about children restrained in car seats, locking car, car in my line of sight while paying, and she confirmed that this is fine.

Therefore I call bullshit on the police writing someone a ticket without actually seeking out that someone first and listening to their explanation (i.e., "I decided it was safer for my child to remain in the locked car, where I could see them from the shop window, than it was to cross a busy forecourt with them"), especially if it was at a garage where logically there was only one shop the parent could be in.

EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 16:24

I always think that what happens if a car hits mine with my baby in it...

Baby is better protected in a car with all the relevant safety features and impact protection than they are if they were hit by a car while being carried in your arms/toddling alongside you.

erykahb · 28/11/2018 16:32

I get that Ew

It's all just a difference of opinions

mangomelons · 28/11/2018 16:38

Not fair to ask husband vs not fair to leave tiny baby alone in car in car park

Hmmm Hmm

This is a tough one 🤦‍♀️

HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 17:14

Leaving a tiny baby alone in a desolate car park with pacing wolves are the wind howling around, in the middle distance lurks the Child Catcher.

The OP bravely battled through the wild beasts into the post office, which once you enter you are unable to leave for ANY REASON.

We hear the sirens of the police in the background, they are going to write a ticket.

Will anyone get out of this in one piece?

dream2 · 28/11/2018 17:28

Ergh, Haunted!! 🙈 Everyone gets that you support leaving newborns alone but now your replies are making Me cringe!!!

EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 17:30

"you support leaving newborns alone"

Grin

Genuinely made me laugh.

I think she supports commonsense, tbh.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 28/11/2018 17:31

dream2 are u this rude in real life? Or just on here?

OP posts:
dream2 · 28/11/2018 17:33

Is that not what OP was planning on doing and Haunted enthusiastically supporting?!!! I must be on the wrong thread!!!

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 28/11/2018 17:37

For my own mental.health - which has taken a serious knock today thanks to some on this thread - I am going to step away.
Thank you to Haunted and Ewits particularly for their conmon sense. I am going to go and cry into a pillow.

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 17:44

Don't cry, OP. You're in that strange stage of parenthood where you're still figuring things like this one and all you wanted was to check what others would do in that situation. What you've learned is that some people are incredibly odd in their assessment of risk.

I can't promise you'll always make the right parenting decisions, I've definitely fucked up on more than one occasion (and as I write this I've suddenly remembered that DS was supposed to take a donation to school on Monday for the fundraiser cake stall...) but doing what you think is best, including taking the day to day risks you find acceptable, is a good place to start.

FYI, I once dropped DD in a pond and when I was zipping up DS coat this morning his zip got stuck and I accidentally punched him in the chin when it pulled free and my hand flew upwards.

glittersparklefairydust · 28/11/2018 17:44

@Mississippilessly my goodness you poor thing, you asked an innocent question! Please do what you feel comfortable with. But whatever you decide I'm sure there will be people in there to help take the parcel to the car, if you carry the car seat! The person bringing out the parcel would probably offer you help anyway when they saw you with the baby.

Also don't let this post put you off asking for support and advice if you're feeling low with possible PND, there are some lovely people on here for support xxx

CottonSock · 28/11/2018 17:52

Don't feel bad @Mississippilessly. Mumsnet is not real life, and people respond as they are anonymous. Imagine if you asked a friend their opinion, they would likely be a lot more muted.

NameChangeCuddleBums · 28/11/2018 18:18

My options would be -

  1. Get DH to go. You just had a baby 10 weeks ago so I am sure he will.
  2. Get DH to come too. Again, new baby.
  3. Go and carry the baby inside and ask for help. Someone will probably volunteer anyway.

I wouldn’t want to leave my baby at 10 weeks because I would miss her.

But you should do what’s right for you. Both options are fine.

HellenaHandbasket · 28/11/2018 18:48

I'm on your sleep thread too I think. You've got enough on. Tell your friend to collect her own parcel, or go and do what feels right/logical at the time. Your judgement is just as good as anyone else's here. I would, and have, happily left a baby that age in the car to collect/drop off things, but if you don't want to then don't. You could ask for help in the depot. Or just throw all this on your DH and tell him you wish you hadn't said yes, bit you have and now you're freaking out about the logistics and could he help. If he's a half decent type, as I'm sure he is, then he'll come along for the ride and go in while you stay in the car with the baby. Time it for nap time.

Tinyteatime · 28/11/2018 18:52

I always leave baby in the car if they’re asleep and I’m nipping in to drop my dd off at nursery. I’d never even consider getting either toddler or baby out of the car to pay for petrol!! Petrol forecourts are disgusting and fumey. Safer in the car by far.

Tinyteatime · 28/11/2018 18:53

This thread is pure MN batshittery.

HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 19:03

I support leaving newborns alone

Grin
Redskyandrainbows67 · 28/11/2018 19:03

Tiny tea what would happen if someone stole your car with baby in it? Or you locked your keys inside? Or there was a fire and you were away from your baby.
You can take a risk with your baby if you want to - I love mine waaay too much to ever take a preventable risk with mine.
If the police saw you leave your baby in the car they would talk to you about it for sure