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Original poster

sister is having problems getting back money owed

26 replies

selepele · 27/11/2018 16:14

I don't know why she has done this as I have had countless issues with "friends" and not paying back money which she knows about but anyway...

My sister has borrowed her ex boyfriend 1k in July, they remained friends and from his job thought he would pay it back no problem.
He has given her back £100 which was only because she got her boyfriend to ring him.
You know what happens, there is always excuses

a couple days ago when asking when she will get some more money he has told her he is at the airport going to the Caribbean with his current girlfriend which he would of paid for (He is that type of guy)

My sister has told me she is going to the police, what would this be classed as?
She actually borrowed the money off our 70 year old father to help this guy out who knows it came from our father. She said he made her feel under pressure to borrow it, forced.
She has mental health issues so is a vulnerable person in general

OP posts:
WhoTookTheCookie · 27/11/2018 16:17

I don't think the police will get involved because it's a civil matter.

She'll probably have to go down the route of taking him to court.
Maybe a solicitors letter would be enough to frighten him into giving her what she is owed.

Is there any proof that the money was loaned to him?

AgentProvocateur · 27/11/2018 16:17

I don't really understand who borrowed from whom, but there's no good going to the police as it will just one person's word against the other. Whoever has lost the money is unlikely to see it again.

aprilanne · 27/11/2018 16:18

the police will say its a civil case this is not criminal .never give out money you cant afford to lose .but your sister should pay back your dad this is not his fault sorry

SillySallySingsSongs · 27/11/2018 16:19

The police won't be in the slightest bit interested. It is a civil matter.

SinisterClownWatchingYou · 27/11/2018 16:20

Do you mean your sister lent her ex boyfriend money?

dementedpixie · 27/11/2018 16:20

Is there any proof of the money being exchanged? Did they draw up any written agreement for repaying the money? Without that I don't know if she has any way of getting the cash back. Small claims court?

Innocentconglomeration · 27/11/2018 16:20

She lent him money. he borrowed it from her.

Has she got anything in writing or any kind of paper trail?

Original poster
selepele · 27/11/2018 16:21

she is paying back, she is not like that.
Have got off the phone it is theft and a domestic issue as she is a vulnerable adult and was in a relationship with him

Not being rude but i'm not here to receive responses like "Don't lend money" she knows this so do i.

I want experiences on situations like this.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 27/11/2018 16:21

It's not a criminal netter. He didn't steal the money. She lent it to him.
And unless there's some evidence that the money was a loan, not a gift, she won't be successful in court. Tell her to watch Judge Rinder.

Original poster
selepele · 27/11/2018 16:22

There are messages between her and him. Her stating he forced her, her message to his brother and the brother replying. She knows where he lives, well his mother.
We are going round to see his mother tonight she if talking to her helps if not police appointment is booked for tomorrow

OP posts:
BarbedBloom · 27/11/2018 16:23

Does she have any proof it was a loan and not a gift? Unfortunately this will be a civil matter, not criminal, as others have said

Villanellesproudmum · 27/11/2018 16:23

I presume you mean she lent him rather than borrowed, although recognise it’s a regional saving.

It’s a civil matter I’m afraid not a criminal matter. She’ll need proof of payments and proof it wasn’t a gift and there was an agreed intention to pay it back, emails, texts etc and she could then put in a claim via the small claims Court.

BarbedBloom · 27/11/2018 16:24

Cross post. But are there any messages where he admits it was a loan?

aprilanne · 27/11/2018 16:24

it would probably only be theft or criminal if she has some sort of learning difficulties i know a bit about this as a mother of autistic therefore vunerable young man .

Original poster
selepele · 27/11/2018 16:25

Police just told me its a domestic issues as they have had sex and were in a relationship. Said there are many cases of men forcing women to give them money and not giving it back using emotions or abuse and said it is theft rather than civil as they were in a relationship

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 27/11/2018 16:25

The police will not be able to help. Small claims court might be the only option and even then it may not go in her favour

dementedpixie · 27/11/2018 16:26

Oh well, see what they say then

Villanellesproudmum · 27/11/2018 16:26

So there are threats involved? That might be different however your posts are not very clear on the matter.

Janedoe5000 · 27/11/2018 16:27

First off, your sister LENT the money to her ex, not borrowed.

Unless it was fraud, the police won't be interested as it's a civil matter.

Unless she has something in writing where the ex agreed repayment terms it's pretty much unenforceable.

Original poster
selepele · 27/11/2018 16:27

i will update in case anyone else finds themselves in this situation

OP posts:
Calvinsmam · 27/11/2018 16:27

I don’t really have any advice but I wanted to say that he sounds like a total dick and I hope she is getting support for being in an abusive situation. Has she done the freedom programme?

SillySallySingsSongs · 27/11/2018 16:28

it would probably only be theft or criminal if she has some sort of learning difficulties i know a bit about this as a mother of autistic therefore vunerable young man

Not that simple though because technically he owes the DF as it is his money that OP DSis borrowed.

aprilanne · 27/11/2018 16:28

maybe this new coercion law thing may help i think that is classed as domestic abuse maybe talking to the mother may help because if someone came to my door and said this about my two able bodied sons .and they had proof they would be paying it back alright even 100 a month .

aprilanne · 27/11/2018 16:32

sillysally if the sister handed over the money the debt is to her not the father. the sameway as if she had taken out a payday loan .he owes her it not the payday loan company .no matter where she got the money different if he asked the father

Original poster
selepele · 27/11/2018 16:52

I think the fact she took it off our dad shows she was almost forced. He emotionally blackmailed her saying he owed money to people, i don't want to say to much on here as it is not my business and don't know who's around

OP posts:
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