House is beyond awful. How can I sort it out ?

[cantdealwithmess]

A combination of depression and other issues. Asd. A baby who has been unwell a lot. Long working hours and a very ineffective cleaner has led to the house being absolutely dreadful.

It’s a complete mess. Every room. I’m keeping things ‘clean’ with baby wipes and dettol wipes but I have no energy at all.

I feel like I do so much a get nowhere as I’m so behind with it all like the washing etc. Plus no energy means I’ll do a load and fold it but can’t get to put it all away and the the baby cries etc (has reflux)
It’s all a disaster

We got a cleaner and she’s just not getting much done if have thought twice a week and the house would be better it’s worse and when I’m there I keep catching her walking round a room on her phone ?? Not actually cleaning and nothing looks good after she has been but I’m so low I can’t have a confrontation
I just want to cry. Baby unwell today with high temp so he’s asleep and feeding on me I can’t do anything
I wanted to have a massive clear up and get rid of stuff but there is never a chance
My asd makes me find tasks and organising quite hard

I can’t tell anyone in rl they’ll think I can’t cope

That sounds really tough. Get rid of your cleaner and go for a cleaning company, where you can complain to the owner if things aren't done properly. You shouldn't have to pay for crap cleaning!

I thought it would help but it’s no better at all. If I had 6 hours a week without the baby I could do better andtnats saying something but he wants to be on me or beingbheood by me all the time and he’s also unwell so I can’t get anything done at all and im sitting here so upset at the mess and clutter

OP that sounds so tough! Agree with PP, get rid of the cleaner andmaybe get an agency cleaner? Is your partner around to help or hold the baby? I make lists for him to do while I hold the baby. Also took all our washing to a laundromat so they wash and dry it just to catch up again. Now I put 1 wash on every night and my dh has to put 1 load away every night. Bot of us also clean properly one morning and the rest of the time we tidy everything before bed - only takes 15 min (with a toddler and 10 week old). It does make a world of difference to my mh if the house looks okay, once it gets too messy I get overwhelmed so can understand how you are feeling!

Being held by me

Sorry he keeps wriggling as I type
I’m so tired. The worse the house is the worse my mind is

I totally relate to that - if I feel the house is out of control then I feel I am out of control. It’s a horrible feeling - I am certainly not obsessive but I hate the sense of growing piles of stuff creeping up on me!

Is there anything you can do now to plan a gradual Make- over which involves getting rid of stuff you don’t necessarily need - that’s half the battle I find. And introducing systems which put things in their place more efficiently eg a lidded basket for the ironing pile. Get the initial plans done and you will begin to feel in control. Then bit by bit, plan 20 mins a day to blitz and corner/shelf etc. Bring your cleaner in as your advisor- get her onside and tell her you need her expert advice as you’re struggling. Explain how you know she can’t do her job efficiently until there are some systems in place and use her to help you get those going?

Just some thoughts.

I hope you feel better soon. It really is an exhausting stage of life.

Actually not that cleaner - get another from an agency. But the rest of the suggestions stand.