Worried about 6 year old

[todaytomorrownextweek]

Putting my 6 year old to bed tonight she told me she didn't belong in this world.

Earlier tonight she had told me about a child in her class being mean to her and that child's friend being mean too but not as bad as the first child.

She has mentioned these children not being nice to her in the past and I've mentioned it to her teacher.

I don't know to feel!
After lots of tears she is finally asleep and I'm lost and so sad my baby is going through this!

My DS went through something similar at 6. He used to say things like he didn’t like himself after some teasing at school. I decided the best thing I could do was teach him resilience as he was (still is!) very sensitive. He started to do an outside activity which hugely boosted his confidence and he became more able to answer back to the teasing. And it stopped. It’s crap though. I find myself thinking bad thoughts about the guilty classmates It’s tough being a parent.

Littlenosleep sorry your son went through that. How did you teach him resilience?
I just don't know where to start.
Feeling like a shit parent tonight 

Does your DD have friends at school. My DS was struggling at one stage and we talked to the teacher who identified a range of people he played with. We then said, when X happens why don’t you play with Y instead. This gave him a strategy. School also had a worry monster we reminded him about and we said he could go find an adult who’d find him another game to play too.

My dd (6) told me another child in school hurt her. I went marching into school to complain. It took 3 visits before it was sorted and that child now has constant supervision.

I don't think this is a situation where it's about resilience sorry just my opinion

Bless her poor love and you too. It's the worst when they are unhappy. We too have been through it, very hard. You can do lots of work to build her confidence and resilience, as much positive affirmation as poss, tell her if these children are making her feel like this she is worth more and others will appreciate her friendship. Also concentrating on any positives at school, lots to look forward to and any other external clubs etc all good. Chat again to teacher, school will have a pastoral worker who can build resilience and be a port of call for you and your dd

I’ve had similar . I spoke to the teacher and was really glad I did as she told me about some friendship issues and also promised to keep an eye out.

I think wait for a calm moment then have a chat about making sure we have lots of different friends and how different people behave differently ... remind her of all the people who love her

I think it’s good to really encourage wide social circle with kids rather than one or two best mates

She has friends in school. I asked her about that and she listed about 6 girls who she likes to play with. I think the issue is the 'mean girls' play with the others too but seem to be mean to my DD and not the other girls she plays with.
Spoken to another child in her friendship group and ask her what happened after something she would remember and she had the same version of event my DD did.
I'll be going into the school and they will need to do something as it all happens while she is in there care but I don't think it would hurt to teach her resilience also!

Op I think you need the full picture. With my daughter the last thing I want is her thinking being hurt either verbally or other by another child is acceptable and something she has to put up with

Sad to hear others have gone through this.
So my plan is

• talk to the teacher
• lots of positive praise for her
• she does a few after school clubs so lots of encouragement about this
• listen when she wants to talk (not just about this but so she knows I'm there for her)
• talk about different peoples behaviour and why that might be, how we can react to that.

Am I missing anything?

Also I've told her if it happens again to tell a teacher and if she doesn't feel she can tell her teacher to tell me and I will speak to her teacher for her. This was earlier when she was talking about the girl being mean but I'll make sure she know she doesn't have to put up with it.

Reinforce relationships which are permanent and positive. I do this to help my two cope with change.

Sort out a play date ASAP with a kid you know is safe.

Just to be clear, in my case I did speak to them at school as well as it involved something about my child’s appearance. But I was also very aware that he needed to tools to deal with it there and then. I spoke to him about it being ok to be different, we’re not all the same etc. He didn’t shy away and told them next time he liked the thing they teased him about. He sort of gave it “so what if I like X?” He gained in confidence and they stopped doing it. I think sometimes it’s jealously too with kids as some of the teasing centred around stuff he was good at. It was definitely teasing and not bullying but I didn’t hesitate in telling school on the basis that I didn’t want it escalating. But I knew he needed to stand up to it. I think it was a shock to him that not all kids are as nice and tolerant as he is. Girls can be particularly brutal with friendship groups though and I do feel for you. Unfortunately not all kids are lovely to each other and my DS just started to avoid the ones he knew weren’t as nice but it was a hard lesson to learn. He also started to say he didn’t want to be friends with them because they were mean to other people. Since then he has challenged another child who was excluded someone to make sure they were included which I was very proud of him for. Previously he probably would have just told the teacher but felt confident enough to stand up there and then. I wouldn’t hesitate to mention it at school. I did it casually as drop off but to be fair they were straight on it that day as they were quite shocked by my DS being upset as they knew he was normally happy, friends with all type. It’s tough as it hurts as I parent. I’m just getting my head round all this school politics stuff. Hope it goes ok. Tell her she’s brilliant and if they want to exclude, it’s their loss and probably not the sort of friends she’ll enjoy time with.