Do you never gossip?

[CuckooCuckooClock]

Last week a colleague made a comment about me 'liking a gossip' and it's really upset me.
I don't think of myself as a gossip. I'm always careful not to say anything about anyone that I wouldn't say in front of them and I would never say anything harmful. There are a few secrets colleagues have told me and I would never tell anyone.
What I have done is mention what I consider to be relevant information. For example, a couple of weeks ago a few of us were complaining about one of our bosses being on the rampage and I said 'oh yes, Sandra got a nasty email from that boss about something or other'
Does that count as gossip? Is talking about anyone ever always gossip? Even if it's good?
I'm really shaken by this. I'm suffering from anxiety anyway and this has totally got to me. I'm questioning everything I say now.

Anyone who says they don't gossip is lying

Everyone has a gossip its part of life ,dont let it bother you ,i agree with snuggybuggy. Gossping isnt bad and men do it too x

Not all gossip is malicious. It's spreading good news. Our village operates on gossip or "word of mouth".

There's gossip and then there's gossip. I'm sure most people make the odd comment here and there, but that's not the same thing as being the Office Gossip who gossips about everyone and everything.

But what if Sandra didn't want r the rest of the team to know she had a nasty email? Best to keep any info like that to yourself, I think.

To me gossip is wanting there to be drama so you can talk about it and delighting in getting new information about someone. People I know who say they love a bit of gossip seem to want to believe things about others even if they don't have any facts and are quite happy to.decide they know what's going on by making things up.
If I speak about someone I only relate actual facts that they have told me and I know I am allowed to share. Does that help at all?

I suppose that everyone gossips to a certain extent.
But, I know that some of my friends have bigger mouths than others so would bear this in mind when sharing certain private thoughts/ information.

Thanks for the replies. Lots to think about here.
I guess I do gossip then. I think of it as showing solidarity with my coworkers but maybe people would rather I didn't. I'm fairly new, started in September, so I'm still trying to make friends at work. I don't think I've done a good job. Hopefully it's not too late.

I try not to share really personal stuff but I find it hard to judge so I guess it's better to just not say anything at all.

I would never add details for drama and it really annoys me when people do that. I suppose I thought I was a nicer person than I am.

Yes I do but it makes me feel shit so I try to avoid as much as possible.

I don't think what you did was bad OP.

so I guess it's better to just not say anything at all. That's it, if in doubt do that.

I don't really gossip, I think. Partly I am a very private person, and partly my friendships tend to be one-on-one, and to be very spread out around the world these days I've moved countries a lot so I'm not going to go on Skype to tell a friend in Brazil that someone they don't know but I do in Oxford is having an affair. The other mothers in DS's class seem gossipy, but I do drop-off and pick-up once a week, if that, so I don't get involved.

People confide in me at work, possibly because they perceive me as being a safe ear -- for instance, I think I am the only who who knows that two colleagues recently had a brief, very passionate relationship which fell apart when it emerged she was only one of several women he had on the go, and that the reason why our HoD keeps cancelling meetings at no notice is that his wife has terminal cancer, but he doesn't want to talk about it.

I never ever stop gossiping. I can’t help myself. There is a massive difference between being a gossip and having a bitch though.

What I have done is mention what I consider to be relevant information.

^^

Yeah.... I do this a lot

I think most gossip is harmless ,other gossip to cause trouble i dont think many do that ,as in id never gossip about private things or tell anyone what the other has said but yeah i do like a gossip x

I know I do sound like a total gossip now with my "relevant information" I think I'll try to just keep to myself from now on.
I do find it difficult not to recount events. For instance, my boss asked me what happened in a meeting that he wasn't at and I told him. It was a bit dramatic because one of our team had made a huge error but I did just keep to the facts and my boss asked me outright. I suppose I could have just said I wasn't comfortable discussing it and he should ask the other person. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong because our boss would have to be told eventually but I suppose that's it's nothing to do with me.
Now I write it down I sound like a total nob for not realising how gossipy it sounds.
How have I made it so far in life without thinking about it this way?

This is really interesting to me because I don't gossip at all, I think because I'm so fiercely private that I find the idea of talking about someone else's business without them being there completely offputting. But even I can see that there's gossip and there's malicious gossip and the two are different. It doesn't sound to me as though you did anything wrong, OP. And the fact that you asked the question and are taking the replies on board is very much to your credit! I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you.

Thank you. I'm quite private too but I do talk a lot. Just not about myself.

I don't gossip, SonEtLumiere (love your name). When I was young I did a bit, surrounded by older people who gossiped and not being confident, thought that was probably the norm. My mother also gossiped terribly. However, since that time I haven't. I don't like being talked about - well I suppose if people were saying good things I wouldn't mind but that isn't what most mean by 'gossiping'. So I say nothing about anyone else's business or anything I wouldn't say to them.

I don't say anything I would not say Infront of someone but that's kind of what I was asking about because even good stuff is gossip it seems.

Some men gossiping worse than women .
I told guy 1 thing on Monday .
By Friday everyone will know .

No. I've been the victim of false, malicious gossip and, melodramatic as it sounds, it almost ruined my life. I still occasionally suffer the repercussions now, two decades on.

Thing is with gossip, unless you're the person who started it, you've no idea whether or not it's true. And true or not, it tends to get embellished with each re-telling.

I loathe it, and have no time for the sort of people who revel in it, sorry.