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Original poster

Almost three year old bitting

22 replies

Jojobunny · 25/11/2018 19:01

We don’t know what to do about his biting anymore. He bites anyone who come in his space ( like his own bubble) both me dh and dd are covered in bruises due to his hard bites he does it 20+ times a day! He goes to nursery which he’s just as bad :( we are even banned from soft play. He doesnt yet have any words and shows no reaction to crying and anger when he does it. He has limited understanding to talking to him about it :(

OP posts:

Kemer2018 · 25/11/2018 19:03

Bite him back. It works.

Original poster

Jojobunny · 25/11/2018 19:07

I’d rather not bite my son thanks

OP posts:

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 25/11/2018 19:09

Sounds like he has SN, speak to your health visitor or gp.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Behaviour & development Families

Lollyice · 25/11/2018 19:11

Ds used to bite. I would move him right away as soon as he tried and firmly say no. Telling him it hurt and made us feel sad helped explain the consequences to him. He seemed to be drawn to dd's feet when she had no socks on.
It got to the point where I would put him in his room until he said sorry and knew what he was sorry for.
Like everything else, he mostly grew out of it.
As soon as he moves in to bite, you have to intervene. Sitting him on the 'thinking spot' (bottom stair) every time he bites might be worth a try. Don't let him rejoin the family until he has thought about what he has done and 'said sorry', maybe given a hug to the person he bit.

hazeyjane · 25/11/2018 19:14

Bite him back. It works

What a fucking ridiculous suggestion.

It does sound as though there are other issues that need to be looked into - have nursery suggested any referrals or support?

Do you think it is frustration or could it be sensory? Does he bite himself? Mouth objects (like a younger child might)? You could try redirecting him to biting something 'safe like a chewy tube .

When you say he has no understanding - have you had Speech and language intervention?

hazeyjane · 25/11/2018 19:16

www.sensoryneeds.co.uk/chewy-tubes.html chewy tubes.

Original poster

Jojobunny · 25/11/2018 19:22

He has no understanding of Time outs etc he does bite himself. Salt has been involved for over s year and it’s yet to make any difference, we use cards and sign a long with him aswell

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 25/11/2018 19:43

What are nursery doing to support him?

Are there any other developmental concerns? Feeding? Physical? Medical?

Have you seen a paediatrician?

Sorry for all the questions! He sounds like a complex little boy. Biting can have all sorts of different reasons - it can be a developmental phase, it can be frustration, it can be sensory (needing oral feedback from biting, licking, chewing etc), it can be a reaction to pain.

Trying to understand the reason for biting might be the start of helping him. Could you and nursery write a diary of when he bites? Sometimes when a child displays a behaviour it can help to do an ABC chart - so writing down the
Antecedent (what happened in the build up to biting)
Behaviour (exactly what happened)
Consequence (what happened once the behaviour was displayed, both his and your reaction)

If you do this over a few days, it might give a clearer picture of the reason for the Biting, and how to help him.

Original poster

Jojobunny · 25/11/2018 20:19

The feeling from us and nursery is he will bite when he has a child next to him or trying to play with him. The nursery already do abc. He is under a doctor which she think he’s autistic but we’re not sure which is why I didn’t mention it

OP posts:

bitethemustard · 25/11/2018 20:48

When our dog wouldn't stop biting things in the kitchen we put mustard on them and she stopped. Have you considered mustard?

Original poster

Jojobunny · 26/11/2018 07:20

I can’t really smear mustard on everyone

OP posts:

aussiemum8 · 26/11/2018 08:22

I can’t really smear mustard on everyone

Sorry this made me lol.

Kids with autism sometimes (definitely not always) bite and kids with communication issues/delays will also do this if they don't have another way of telling you to not touch their things/stay out of their space.

The way you describe his lack of understanding of consequences could potentially be about autism and will make a difference in how you manage this (as he needs to understand and seems like he doesn't right now).

Mammyloveswine · 26/11/2018 12:51

At nearly 3 I definitely think this about more than just biting. Push for a peadiatrician referall and get the nursery SENCO on the case.

How is his general understanding? My almost 3 year old went through a terrible biting stage at around 2.5. He also has delayed speech. He is now putting 2 words together and starting to speak in short sentences. He no longer bites however can sometimes be a bit aggressive if another child interferes in his play. We use some makaton which helps him to understand the impact of his behaviour.

I'm.also on top of him like a hawk ready to swoop him away.

It is horrible and I feel super anxious whenever were out however it is much better now.

SleepySofa · 26/11/2018 12:56

I see your doctor has expressed concerns about autism. Have they referred him for an assessment? Are you under a paediatrician? I'd push for a paed referral if you haven't had one already as it sounds from what limited info you've provided that he might have a developmental delay. At the very least, your nursery should have a SENCO who can advise further.

hamzilla · 26/11/2018 13:04

If some professionals have suggested autism, why aren't you sure? What is it about his behaviour that makes you disagree?

Original poster

Jojobunny · 26/11/2018 14:18

The nursery have got senco helping. He has got a pead which has referred him to the asd team. I probably am in denial as he does tick the boxes and every professional thinks he is.

OP posts:

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 26/11/2018 14:20

And yet none of this is in the OP??

hamzilla · 26/11/2018 14:32

In which case, try to get out of the denial stage, accept what is the reality, and ask the biting question to the professionals to see what advice they have.

ipswichwitch · 26/11/2018 14:42

DS2 went through an awful biting phase - he is 4 and under referral to the ASD assessment team. He has largely stopped doing this now, and we would give him a stern “no!” and remove him immediately x1000.

It was bloody exhausting, and we probably looked like mad helicopter parents, hovering about watching for the slightest hint of teeth!

Frustrating thing was, his speech has always been fantastic. We think that his default setting is to lash out whenever he’s annoyed/frustrated/overwhelmed or whatever, rather than react in a more acceptable way. Now, he will hit or lash out verbally when he’s struggling.

MIL’s fabulous suggestion was to bite him back . We would certainly never do that, but one of his friends bit him back when he was 3, and DS properly went for him, and had to be dragged away in full meltdown. Hardly an ideal solution there!

Original poster

Jojobunny · 26/11/2018 20:37

thanks he made someone bleed today. We have decided that he won’t go to nursery this week so we can all breathe and put our heads together

OP posts:

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 26/11/2018 21:06

I apparently bit until about 4. One day my mum lost her shit with it and gave me the spanking of a lifetime and I never did it again. That said if he does have ASD punishments won't help. You need to find the trigger. Not easy when they are young as communication can be hit and miss.

FurForksSake · 26/11/2018 21:10

Try and think of it not as a label but a ticket to resources and support for your precious child. They must be feeling very frightened and unsure too. I am sorry you are going through this, it sounds very upsetting and that you could do with some local specific support. Are there any local ASD groups you could meet / chat to?

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