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Worried about my mum, not sure how to help

2 replies

PinkandPurpleDiggerDriver · 25/11/2018 14:06

My mum has been signed off work sick since the beginning of 2018. She has depression and anxiety.

I am beginning to become quite concerned it’s something more and not sure what I can do.

Mum is 56. Is on her 4th antidepressant since she was signed off work in January. She spends whole weeks cutting herself off from the world where she doesn’t eat, shower or do anything, she keeps saying she’s not ready to interact with the world yet. If we do go out she has major panic attacks to the point that she feels unsafe to drive (thankfully I can drive and am insured on her car). I’ve had to remove her as my DDs emergency contact at Nursery as she won’t answer the phone, which causes problems in itself as I am a single parent with limited input from DDs father*

If I go to her flat she’s rushing me out of the door saying she doesn’t want to keep me from the world, she lived with my brother until a few months ago but he moved out as she kept saying she didn’t want visitors not even his girlfriend who he’s been with for 5 years, he tries to visit like me and is told the same “I don’t want to keep you from the world”. Some weeks the only interaction she has is with her cats. Her neighbours say they rarely see her anymore.

I’m seriously concerned for her. She’s single and other than the depression and anxiety has no other known health issues. Getting her to see her doctor is difficult as she won’t pick up the phone to make the appointment and as she’s considered compos mentis neither me or my brother can make the appointments for her, she’s only been when the doctor has arranged the appointment at her previous one.

I don’t know how to help her or what to do. I am really worried for her as is my brother but as she seems to determined to retreat into herself no-one seems to care.

Is there anything more I can do for her?

*She said when me and Ex split she was happy to support me and be DDs emergency contact I never asked her for anything other than occasionally looking after DD when she was ill (not sickness bug ill more like cold/conjunctivitis/tonsillitis type illness, her work is much more flexible than mine so she can take time off paid without using AL). She’s never been called by the Nursery and I never ask for babysitting or childcare from her. She’s looked after DD when ill twice in 18 months.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 25/11/2018 15:00

I would urge her to inquire about HRT. Her anxiety could definitely be caused by hormonal changes.

Bluetrews25 · 25/11/2018 16:52

Why don't you phone and make the GP appointment and then escort her there? You could go in with her if she doesn't mind, then leave them to discuss after you have made you initial points.
Alternatively, write to the GP. You are allowed to tell them things, GP cannot give you any information without DM's permission. They could then do home visit or send out appointment, or community psychiatric nurse could call.

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