Would you do an audition with no acting experience at all?

[Hisaishi]

I have always loved going to the theatre, but never done any acting. When I was at university/in my 20s, I had a lot of mh problems, and at school, my parents never encouraged me to do anything (actively discouraged tbh).

I live abroad and there is an expat theatre group, they are holding auditions in a few weeks. I don't know why I suddenly got the idea that I could audition but I keep thinking about trying.

I want to do it, but I'm so nervous and the thing is, it's a small expat community and I'd be really mortified if anyone saw me. I have a history of not doing things because I'm scared of people laughing at me. It's my biggest fear. I can just imagine doing it and then people I know at work/socially saying 'why on earth did you do that shitty audition' or talking about me behind my back.

I know people will say 'just go for it/you only live once' and I'd say the same. But I'm really scared that this will set me back in terms of mh problems and make me feel stupid and worthless. I don't even particularly care if I get a part or not. I just don't want people to laugh at me.

You've got one life. Live it.

Go for it. If you get a part, great. If you don't, ask if you can help out with admin or backstage.

I know I should but like I say...I have mh problems. That's what's stopping me. I have a history of doing impulsive things and then spending the next month or two beating myself up for doing it.

Getting involved with the local am-dram group sounds like a great idea. If the thought of putting yourself out there in a small community is too much (I can see why the thought of it is a bit repressive!), how about trying to join backstage? Or going for a 'chorus' part in the auditions.

Good luck - it sounds really fun and as though you could meet some new friends

I don't think people would laugh at you though - even if you aren't good enough to offer a part.

The worst they'll think is she's a bit too quiet/shy/self-conscious/inexperienced to be right for this. And those are just practical observations that'll have no bearing on how anyone perceives you as a person.

Go for it if you want to!

rings I am also considering that, thank you.

sleep I think the words 'good enough' are relevant here. I'm constantly scared of not being 'good enough'. And of course, when you are scared and questioning everything all the time - you can't be good at all because you get so nervous.

I know it doesn't really have a bearing on me as a person but...still feels like it. I'm a perfectionist, but so much so that it cripples me and I can never get anything done.

Why not join the theatre group anyway ? Many people join these groups and work behind the scenes, making the sets, finding costumes etc. Not everybody is the star of the show , and most don't have a role at all.

If you join up as a member of the group, they'll allocate you a job and then you'll be part of the group . As time goes on you might like the idea of acting, so you can move into it rather than just jumping into an audition with no experience at all. Since you have a confidence problem, take some baby steps rather than throwing yourself in at the deep end.

There's no 'good enough' to worry about here. If you're the right fit for the part, you'll get it and if you aren't you wont. And it wont be because there's anything 'flawed' about you - casting are looking for something specific. I told myself this and auditioned for something that was a huge stretch recently and it paid off. However, if it hadn't it would have been because someone was a better fit. Auditions aren't like exams. It all depends who else turns up. It's the one area of my life I can realisitically convince myself it's not my fault if I'm not cast. I can't be suitable for every role. Please go for it OP. Even just as a step in your own mental health recovery and growth. Don't let fear hold you back.

You may have to audition to get in the company which is one thing. Going for a part straight away is a big step. I spend years in AmDram choruses before going for parts in big shows. I used to do the village panto which helped me grow and take on small parts, eventually getting leads. I still get nervous now in my forties and I won’t lie, auditioning doesn’t get any easier even the more you do. It can take it’s toll on self esteem but then it can be wonderful when you get your dream part. My advice would be start small - chorus or dark side (backstage) to ease yourself in gently. Be kind to yourself but have lots of fun!

Take it slow. Don’t audition for a main part or anything like that - you sound vulnerable at the moment.
Why not investigate how to join the company and take on a lower level role. You could have a part behind the scenes or perhaps a really minor role for now. That would still give you loads of confidence and you could build up to a bigger part.

beast that's a good way to think about it.

bamboo you don't have to audition to join the company. As it's an expat group, people move around a lot, so it's more adhoc than that.

nuff I wouldn't say I'm any more vulnerable than usual, but just kind of scared I guess. Definitely not auditioning for anything big.

The thing is, I don't actually care about getting a part really. I'm just so worried people will laugh at me but at the same time, I'm trying to get over exactly that fear these days so it seems like a good way to start.

Do it. In fact, do something every day that scares you, even if it’s just addressing life admin that’s a bit overwhelming. The sense of achievement is huge.
I suffer with depression and anxiety, and this does help.
Also, do something every day to treat yourself (however small). Reward yourself for doing the scary bits.

Doing something every day that scares you doesn't tend to go that well when you have BPD, unfortunately...

I've run lots of auditions and no matter how poorly anyone has performed, I don't recall anyone ever laughing. I'd echo what several PP have said - go along to the group and offer to help with set painting/ props/ costume etc until you're comfortable there, get a flavour of the standard and then audition for the next show. Start off with a small role and go from there. Good luck!