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Girl trying to fleece daughter out of money!

16 replies

Lanny81 · 24/11/2018 14:23

Hi all,
My daughter (16) has been "friends" with this group of girls since school and they are all now at college.
She was good friends with one girl (girl A) in particular but past couple of months since this other girl (girl B) has come back on the scene, girl A had almost completely turned her back on my daughter.
Shes still invites her places when she feels like it but when she does she completely and publicy humiliates her in front of people especially new people and boys, telling them not to speak to my Daughter because shes thick, slack, stupid etc.
Shes lied to her, left her out of stuff and completely tarnished her good character to others. But more recently she had started trying to fleece money out of her.
In the space of 5 days she has tried duping her out of £75! £25 for a new pair of trousers which my Daughter apparently ruined...shes been barged into by a woman whilst eating a sandwich, sandwich has gone flying and landed on girl As trousers leaving a greasy mark. My daughter got blame because althought it wasnt her fault that she dropped the sandwich, according to girl A it was her fault because it was her sandwich! Girl B was making it worse by rubbing the grease in further and taking photos of the stain.
Later on the same week Girl A has had a party while her Nan was away, these boys were starting a fight outside, my Daughter has run outside to break it up and diffuse the situation which luckily she managed to do but in the process shes bumped into a boy who was holding a glass, hes subsequently dropped it and its smashed on the drive behind the Nans car.
My Daughter picked the glass up best she could.
Fast forward to Tuesday, the girls Nan has come home, found out Girl A has had a party. Girl A has blamed the broken glass on my daughter and messged her saying "my Nan knows you smashed that glass, shes not happy". Then the following day she got a message off Girl A again saying "IF my Nan gets a puncture because of that smashed glass you owe her a new tyre!!!" so daughters asked her how much, where from and what tyre size. To which she replied "£50, Xxxxxx Motors, and youve the seen the car, you should know what size tyre it needs!". Then 2 minutes later another message saying "It IS punctured, shes had to buy a new tyre, you owe her £50!"
We knew something wasnt right whem we tried to find the garage only to find that its non existent. Shes basically plucked a name out of thin air. And she couldnt be specific about the size of the tyre we would need etc.
My daughter asked her to pass my number onto her Nan so the adukts could sort it out because after all, its me who would be paying for it not Daughter and its her Nans car not hers! Also just to add we were never goimg to hamd any money over seeing as it wasnt my daughter who smashed the flipping glass in the first place although she did bump into someone.
Anyway this girl has been on and on at her, she wouldnt get her Nan to ring me which rang alarm bells straight away.
The next day at college she was goimg around my daughters friends saying she was going to smash my daughters face in because she owes HER £50!
So yesterday I bit the bullet and went to see the Nan. She didnt have a clue what we were on about. She invited us in.
Apparently this girl has got in huge trouble for having the party, shes had her money allowance stopped as a result so is just trying to fleece my daughter. The car didnt have a puncture, it came on dash saying low tyre pressure so they took it to garage, no puncture. Could either be because the cars been sat unused for a week or possibly a slow puncture but nothing visible.
The Nan had told the girl A that if there was a puncture, either she was to pay it because had she not had the party in first place there would have been no smashed glass OR she had to tell everyone who attended the party to chip in to pay for it.
But girl A has blames it all on my girl. Weve had to tell the Nan about the lads almost fighting etc which she knew nothing about. But shes glad my daughter stopped it ans said thank you as it could have been a lot worse than a bit of glass and a potential puncture.
Shes said girl A has no right at all demanding money out of my Daughter, its not her fault etc. And she never once said to girl A that my daughter was solely responsible. Shes absolutely livid with girl A.
We took the opportunity to tell her about the belittling etc and she too said its since girl B has come back on the scene, girl As attitude has been absolutely vile.
She going to have words with girl A about the tyre thing, shes going to tell her she saw me in supermarket as she thinks girl A will be nasty to my daughter if she says weve been to the house and shes also promised us she wont tell her about the other things we discussed as its basically bullying what they are doing to my girl and its not on but could make it worse.
Im just really really worried that my daughters going to get some awful backlash for us speaking to the Nan.
Have I /we done the right thing and what would you have done in this situation?xx

OP posts:
Lanny81 · 24/11/2018 14:44

Anyone?

OP posts:
Hellbentwellwent · 24/11/2018 15:23

Your daughter needs some new friends, these girls sound horrific! What age are they? Is she doing a levels or further? The college should have a pastoral policy and anti bullying policy. I lecture at BTEC and hand level and have some very young students. This behaviour would be severely frowned upon hand if flagged to me or the colleagues I work with would definitely not be dismissed.
Please do your best to empower your daughter to seek out friends who bring more positive things to her life, and teach her how to say ‘no’, or ‘I’ll have to think about this and get back to you’ or ‘I’ll have to talk this through with / seek advice ‘ etc if the girl starts on her again. Bully’s will always put her on the spot and corner but learning how to get some distance puts them off thinking you’re vulnerable. and definitely seek out support from the college.

Oldraver · 24/11/2018 17:42

I would contact the girl and make it very clear if she comtinues to demand money with menaces you will contact the police.

Maybe the threat to the little scrote will be enough to shut her up

Lanny81 · 24/11/2018 17:50

Thank you for your reply.
Weve been telling our Daughter for months that these girls are starting to take the pee out of her and that she needs new friends. She realised all this herself but unfortunately she wouldnt speak up against them because a) when one has a problem with you the others follow suit and b) she didnt want to be left without any friends.
I can totally understand where she was coming from as its not nice feeling like either everyone's against you or that you have no friends but in all honesty I would rather have no friends at all than have so called "friends" like them.
But the past couple of months, since her so called "best friend" has started being awful to her, belittling her, humiliating her, blaming her for everything etc, its really knocked her confidence even more...her confidence was getting lower and lower since she became friends with these girls at the end of year 10. She says it hasnt but I can tell it certainly has!
So, subsequently, its made her not want to speak up even more! But she NEEDS to stick up for herself. 14/15 months ago she would have told them all in no uncertain terms to eff right off. But now she wont say boo to a goose!
So, after speaking to the Nan last night, im just hoping this girl sees sense and apologises. But im worried it will go the other way and she will be even worse with my girl. Her Nan has told my daughter that if she (girl A) continues going around my Daughters friends at college telling lies or she doesnt drop the "you owe me money" bull, then she has told us we MUST tell college.
But I do know that IF it does continue and it gets so bad that we DO need to inform college, I know for a fact that they will make things worse for my Daughter.
Its such a shame because shes a respectful, friendly, well liked girl and has made some lovely new friends at college who have all defended her and said she doesnt need these girls anymore and that she mustnt ever think shes got nobody because she has them now.
Ive told the girls Nan that my girl wont be having anything to do with her Grandaughter or the others anymore and my Daughter agreed that she doesnt need them.
Just hoping and praying it goes the way I want and she gets an apology and it gets left then she can move on, and hoping it doesnt go the other way and these girls start victimising her instead!

OP posts:
Lanny81 · 24/11/2018 17:59

Just to clarify shes in her first year at college. She is 16 (almost 17) and left high school this year xx

OP posts:
stressedmum15 · 24/11/2018 18:17

I think this girl is trying it on and hopefully gran will have a word and that will be that . If it's not your dd will have to and I know it will be hard but ignore these girls and make new friends. Are they all at the same college ? If so can dd change ? It may seam externally but the less she sees of them the better . This girl sounds vile and your dd really is better off without her she is young so will make many friends over the years . I really hope everything works out , but you need to tell your dd not to worry everything will be fine .

Lanny81 · 24/11/2018 18:31

Thank you!
Yes she has turned really vile this girl and im not sure why because up until a couple of months ago she was lovely. Its definitely since girl B has come back on the scene.
Shes loud mouthed, opinionated and so 2 faced its unbelievable. And unfortunately girl A has followed suit.
My daughter feels a lot better since weve cleared things up with the Nan. Hoping its the end of it however, her lovely Granddaughter has shared something on social media and although im not sure if its aimed at mt Daughter or not, it says something along the lines of "funny how you spot a compulsive liar, and you're sat there thinking thats se, so is that, that didnt happen, stop talking se". Im pretty sure its aimed at my girl but could be anyone so im not jumping to conclusions but Nan was havimg stern words with her today and was meant to be messaging me later but up to now ive not heard anything xx

OP posts:
stressedmum15 · 24/11/2018 19:09

I hope you get it all sorted and your dd is ok .

Lanny81 · 24/11/2018 20:24

Thank you xx

OP posts:
BobbinstickThundercats · 24/11/2018 21:43

Oh I hope this is the end of it all for your girl OP, I'd really encourage those new friendships if I were you. I only have little ones so parenting teenagers is well beyond my remit at the moment but I just wanted to say that you sounds like a lovely mum and I hope my children open up to me about any difficulties they have like your girl does with you. I hope you've have a text from A's nan by now to reassure you.

Lanny81 · 24/11/2018 23:39

Thank you so much for your kind words! I do try my best with all my kids (I have 3). Im their Mum first and foremost but their best friend too. Because at the end of the day, when things get tough, they know they can always speak to me and ill never judge or criticize and ill be there to help pick up the pieces.
Ive still not heard from the Nan unfortunately xx

OP posts:
Lanny81 · 26/11/2018 06:20

Well my girl has only gone and bagged herself a job!! She starts this weekend!! Sooo proud of her.!!! Gives her thr perfect opportunity to forget about these girls and concentrate on herself 😀

OP posts:
BobbinstickThundercats · 02/01/2019 19:48

Fantastic news OP, how is your daughter getting on in her job? Have the friendship struggles settled down at all?

Cowgirljess · 03/01/2019 11:10

Sounds like a snake these girls! I hope they backed off your daughter!

notonefunkgiven · 05/01/2019 18:33

Unless your daughter is willing to drop this girl and find new friends then what can you do?

KeiTeNgeNge · 14/01/2019 02:49

Hope it all blew over

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