My neighbour is 90. Her husband died last Christmas. No local family. She has other children 3 hours away who drive down every now and then but don’t do anything to help her (other than take her food shopping). I go round regularly to check on her and offer help but she rarely lets me help her. Only when she’s been ill does she call me to get some bread and milk etc. I went round today as it’s wet and she goes to the local shop (about a 2 minute walk) from our homes. She goes the same time each Saturday and it takes her an hour, she’s that immobile she uses a walker. So I went round just now to offer to go for her and she refuses. She said ‘I have my hat I’ll be ok’. She also told me (as she does each time) it’s the only time she leaves the house so only time apart from her son. She said he was still in bed and has always half joked that he’s her son and it’s fine but today said she was struggling with him and his moods. Someone comes every 6 weeks or so and takes him for a short walk around the block. I asked when they come next and it’s in 2 weeks. That’s all the ‘help’ she gets? She has a frailty nurse (?) she called it, said she called her and said she would come in December but she hadn’t been since August..... she also said that the walk is the only break from her son she gets and how she could do with a weeks break from him. She wAs half joking but she’s never said anything like this and I’m worried.
I know he has medication and can be polite etc but other times he wonders on my front garden and has banged very loudly on my window for no reason. I was woken up the other night about 1am with some very loud bangs. She’s very stubborn as a lot of the eldery are, and won’t accept my help. Is there a way to find out if there’s any help for her? Her family won’t entertain a conversation and says she’s fine but they only come once a month at the most? They are also about 70 themselves.
I’m not a busybody but since her husband has died I’m really worried about her. 