Personality disorder?

[iwasaterribleperson]

I had an almighty meltdown this week in a very public place - self harm and a severe panic attack . I ended up being seen by several mental health professionals over three days and GP and given diazepam to help me calm down.

I have a pre existing diagnosis of GAD, OCD and depression with self harm . I’ve never attempted suicide although have had thoughts a long time ago , but self harm very frequently. Have had anxiety problems all my life but significantly worse since age 14 or so ... now in late twenties. I was abused as a child and various other adverse circumstances .

I’ve since been told doctor is thinking I might have a personality disorder instead , and if I do it would be one of the ‘anxious’ ones .

My mother has a diagnosis of BPD. Paternal grandmother also had a personality disorder of some sort and took her own life . Father also has lots of issues . My cousin has BPD too ... so it wouldn’t necessarily surprise me if I get a diagnosis as well now .

I’m a bit concerned what’s likely to happen next . I’m on a waiting list to have therapy and having some CBT provided via university in the interim . I’ve also been given a mental health worker via university ... I’m not sure how personality disorders are diagnosed at all, if it has to be a psychiatrist or something ? How do they know ? It would sort of help me to realise there’s a reason I am as I am (biologically I mean, I can explain it with past trauma a bit).

I will try and make an appt to ask GP a bit about things , but just wondering if anyone on here had any experience ... it’s not something that necessarily needs to affect stuff like jobs , etc is it ? I’m worried if I do get a label people will have prejudices and assume I’m sociopathic , or dangerous , or something which is very far from it! I work in a public facing role and am usually fine at work, I don’t want to jeapordise career chances etc...

I do remember being told years ago psychologist thought I had ‘dependant avoidant’ disorder but no idea what that means in reality . Presume it’s along same lines though .

I would certainly say you have autistic traits, also quite significant that your sister is diagnosed!

Other options include going private (price varies a lot) or gong through a charity (who usually ask you to donate what you feel you can afford to give). Have a look a look at the Action for Asperger’s website, they do charity assessments.

Speak to the GP and ask for a referral for autism assessment. If they try to fob you off, persist, and/or ask for a second opinion.

Definitely agree that you should try to get GP to refer you for autism assessment. The psychiatrist probably won't be able to do this and to be frank, may well digabkse you with PD which you don't want. Obviously, no one want's an inaccurate diagnosis but more than that - PD diagnoses are hard to shake off and it often makes getting referrals for further assessment (autism, for example) difficult. Some Dr's view wanting more input as part of borderline personality disorder and do their best to prevent it.

Complex PTSD.

Trauma can cause sensory issues and sensitivity to touch. And pretty much most of what you describe.

A diagnosis of BPD is much more likely to be used to close down avenues of support than open them. It's disproportionately applied to female trauma survivors, especially if you've self harmed - even if you don't fit the diagnostic criteria or more appropriately fit the criteria for something else.

You have a history of trauma. A trauma diagnosis would be much more helpful in opening up the right kinds of support for you.

Have you ever read Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman? Or The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk?

Lots of people with EUPD have trauma histories.

Why not Google DBTs Biosocial Model of BPD OP. I think it's a really useful way of understanding how our biological predisposition interacts with the environment. What I also love is Marsha Linehan and DBTs overwhelming empathy for individuals with the diagnosis. Probably born out of the fact that she has the diagnosis herself so developed the therapy to help people like her.

FWIW as a MH professional I absolutely love my work within our PD network. What I really want to say is I find working with people with this diagnosis the most rewarding but don't want to pigeonhole. The diagnosis is so stigmatising and it needs to change.

Hi OP, have you namechanged? Are you the poster that has gone a long way from home to Glasgow university with an Auntie nearby and you have posted about your significant physical health issues and horrendous bullying at school? If so please don't get a diagnosis of BPD (because that will give an excuse not to help you further) before other things have been investigated. You have been traumatised in your past and from reading your past posts I would urge you to be investigated for autism and to be given proper help for your trauma.

Hi OP you don't have to reply with any details but please let me know you have read my last post because if you are the same person then you really do need proper help.

Hiya, I’ve sent you a pm