Leaving London- Leigh on Sea or Tunbridge Wells?

[AngeloMysterioso]

DH and I are looking to move out of London. We’ve been focussing our search mainly on Leigh on Sea and Westcliff but recently I’ve been looking at Tunbridge Wells as well- similar commute time, comparable house prices with the added benefit of not being within spitting distance of bandit country Southend (no offence to any Southenders reading)

My husband however is less keen on TW, mostly because of the slightly longer/more expensive commute, but also because it’s further from our parents- his are in NE London, mine in Essex. I’m trying to remind him of the bigger picture, mainly that we’re looking to start a family and should be considering more factors than just the train travel, and that it doesn’t really make a lot of sense for us to be beholden to where our parents live. He also thinks we should stick to Leigh/Westcliff as we can afford an ever-so-slightly larger place there.

My reasons for liking TW are it’s a lovely town with a really nice surrounding area, and lots of good schools. Since we’re TTC I’ve also been looking at nearby hospitals and maternity facilities- Pembury is state of the art, all rooms are private en suite including on the post-natal ward; a friend of mine has delivered there and loved it, and it has a fantastic reputation. Southend and Basildon hospitals, not so much.

Because of our budget we can’t afford more than a 2/3 bed flat or maybe a tiny house in either location. Our maximum budget is £250k, so we’re not looking at asking prices higher than £270k. In either town that’ll get us a flat in a converted house with either no outside space at all or a tiny balcony or patio garden, or a house the size of a shoebox. Originally we were only looking in Leigh but are now also considering Westcliff where we can afford a bigger place, but obviously the reason it’s cheaper round there is because the area isn’t as nice. So far example this is the sort of place we could afford in Leigh, compared with this one in Westcliff.

There are also two places I absolutely love the look of even further south than TW, in Hurst Green and Robertsbridge, but DH flatly refuses to even look at them because of the cost/duration of the commute. He also won’t consider anywhere further than a mile and a half from the train station as he doesn’t want to walk far. My argument that these are worthwhile sacrifices to make for a much nicer family home has fallen on deaf ears unfortch.

(It’s also really starting to piss me off that a large number of the places that come up on my search, I will click on only to be greeted by the dreaded words “for sale by the modern method of auction” or “in need of modernisation”. But that’s by the by...)

Does anyone know these areas who can suggest places to go for/avoid? Am I daft for even considering Tunbridge Wells? I spend so much time looking on bloody Rightmove these days it’s making my head spin!

I think looking at the bigger picture should include living within reasonable distance of your parents, if there's a chance of baby-sitting or emergency childcare. We bought in SE London because property was cheaper, but both sets of parents lived in NW London and the hour and a half journey was a real pain with babies and small children. Have you worked out what the journey would be like from TW to your parents?

And the commute is incredibly important, You don't want to have to factor in a bus ride or the cost of parking on the end of your train journey, 5 days a week.

TW is more classy, but it's also the only place I've ever seen someone shooting up - in a toilet in the Pantiles! There are some classy places in Essex. I think I'm with your Dh on this one. If you're tied to London because of your jobs, I'd try to live on the same side of it as family, if you want your dcs to have a close relationship with their gps.

Oh - and I don't know about Essex schools, but Kent schools are only good if your dc are bright enough to get into a grammar school. As an education authority over all, the results aren't at all good.

According to Google maps it would take 1h6m for my ILs to get to TW and 56 mins to Leigh, so there’s only 10 mins in it. It’s a bigger difference for my DM as she’s already in Essex but to be honest I can see her upping sticks to move closer to wherever I end up anyway as she doesn’t particularly like where she lives.
We’re not looking at anywhere further than walking distance from train stations, but what DH and I consider to be walking distance is quite different. I used to walk 1.6 miles each way to the station before I moved in with DH, he doesn’t really want to consider anything over a mile. Won’t even think of bike or scootering it.

I think you have to allow him his say since he's the one who'll be doing the walk. I don't know Essex well, but how about Burnham-on-Crouch? (Fantastic names in Essex btw)

The charity shops in TW are amazing. You could furnish an entire house with practically new stuff from them.
But I agree with pp about the grammar school system.

I’ll be doing the walk too, it just doesn’t bother me as much!

The train service from Burnham to London is longer and much less frequent, and it’s not a particularly nice area from what I’m told.

The school system in Leigh is pretty similar to TW I think, a couple of good primaries but the good secondary schools are grammar.

Leigh on Sea isn’t that nice any more. We lived there growing up but we’ve all left now.

According to Google maps it would take 1h6m for my ILs to get to TW and 56 mins to Leigh, so there’s only 10 mins in it
When they are older and less confident driving what is the train commute like for them?

They would have to go over the bridge/ through the tunnel for TW though wouldn’t they? That’s never fun....

Have you considered Colchester?

I would second really thinking about the Dartford Crossing. I've been using it regularly for 20 years and would not recommend it.

This is really pretty [[Bergholt Road, Colchester
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-68676391.html]]

Not particularly local to LoS here, but just to say the maternity units at both Basildon and Southend have good reputations locally. I had DD2 at Basildon last year and the care was brilliant - the maternity unit is graded outstanding by the CQC. The whole hospital itself seems pretty good there nowadays, actually. I think it's dodgy days are long behind it. It's graded good overall by the CQC.

To be honest, my in laws travel arrangements aren’t my chief concern... I don’t want where we spend our family life to be based on a decision they made to live in North East London before DH or I were born. BIL lives in Somerset and they seem to cope with that just fine.

DH won’t consider Colchester. Commute is crazy expensive and Greater Anglia are a bag of shite. I could just about persuade him to look at Chelmsford I think, but it’s the same appalling train service.

Will you both be working full time and commuting in to London after you've had your baby? That needs to be your biggest consideration. Will your childcare cover your working day plus long commute x 2?

The commute is the same duration at either location so that isn’t really a deciding factor to be honest. The plan currently is for me to return to work but it will ultimately be decided by our circumstances at the time. God knows we can’t afford to live any closer unless we resign ourselves to living in an absolute dump. DH is adamant he doesn’t want to live in London anymore, and TW and Leigh are both popular towns for city commuters so I’d imagine there must be some sort of childcare available.

Really what I’m after is some advice from people familiar with the two areas we/I are considering. The other concerns will be the same wherever we end up

I also would be looking at schools rather than hospitals. Giving birth is a day or so whereas schooling is years of your child's life and has much more impact on their life than where they were born.

Our next home will only be for 3-5 years tops, at the moment we can only use DHs salary for a mortgage, hence our budget being so low, but once we can add my salary to the mix we’ll be looking for somewhere bigger, so this won’t be our forever home anyway.

If I can avoid giving birth in a dodgy hospital with a hell on earth postnatal ward then I’d like to! I’ve read enough childbirth stories on here to know that for some it’s just a few hours and then done, and for others it’s a traumatic experience resulting in awful PND. As I already suffer with depression and am utterly terrified of childbirth, where and how I give birth is very important to me.

As I said before, it seems like the school situation is similar in both places, a few good primaries (although there seem to be more in TW, but I’d imagine that’s because it’s a much bigger town), good grammar secondaries, non-grammar secondaries a mixed bag.

I’d like to know which areas or neighbourhoods to go for or to avoid in particular, or if there’s anything about living in those towns that I ought to be aware of- everything else is stuff we’re already taking into consideration.

Isn’t it depressing when 250k won’t but you that much?? Tunbridge Wells is very expensive generally. Have you looked at Sevenoaks and the surrounding villages, Seal etc?

Haven’t looked at Sevenoaks, haven’t even thought of it, I’ve never even been there and I don’t know if DH has, but I’ve been to TW a number of times and liked it and DH and I seem to be schlepping out to Leigh every weekend at the minute and I’m already sick of the place

If you are starting a family I would say commute time and the reliability of trains is vital. Can DPs get there to pick up from nursery or school if your train is cancelled. So second is handiness of GP, half our drive is ok. Then good schools, secondary too unless you'll plan to move again.
Unless you are a SAHM then cancel above.

One concern I have about Leigh is that if I end up working somewhere in London other than the City, living in a town where the trains only run to Fenchurch St is gonna be a real pain in the arse. At least from TW you can get to London Bridge and Charing Cross

TW is struggling a bit at the moment (as many towns that were shopping destinations are), lots of high street shops are gone, the rest are irritatingly split between the pantiles/ the high street and Victoria place. Town centre parking is ££. The old cinema is still an empty eyesore, and the new cinema planned seems to have disappeared (cinema is on the industrial estate but means driving).

Commute is okay, but it is better from Tonbridge or Sevenoaks. Paddock Wood might also be worth a look as all houses v close to station!

Grammar system is a pita but actually most individual schools are good, it’s just the segregation is painful and can be damaging to children’s self esteem (both passers who feel “at the bottom” at grammar, and non passers).

Know the area well so do ask if you have specific questions!

We’ve got friends in TW. They are very happy. I found it to have a lot of traffic, but like London! Would you return to work after a child? My friend gave up after putting her son in nursery because the journey back was too far in an emergency. Eg if he was sick and they rang her she was about 15 mins on the tube to the station, then 50 mins to TW, then 10 mins to get to the nursery. It was getting impossible. Something to think about?