How would you do long drive with baby + 10yo?

[BertieBotts]

We're planning to drive back to the UK for Christmas but it's a long journey (10 hours not counting stops). It's about 6.5h before the ferry and then 3 hours the other side. Can't share driving as only DH has a driving licence.

We've only done the drive once before and that was an emergency so no time to plan/think straight. We stayed over on the way in the world's tiniest hotel room and got no sleep, though that may have been more the situation, did it in one go on the way back but was knackering. Plus 3-4 hour stretches, which is too long for the baby.

Obviously we need to stop every 2 hours minimum to take the baby (4 months) out of the car seat, so what would you do?

A: Break the journey into two days, get cheap travelodge type room near ferry port.
Pros: Easier on DH, baby not stuck in car seat all day, DS1 less likely to get car sick.
Cons: Expensive, makes journey drag, essentially lose a day with family, baby stuck in car seat for most of 2 days rather than one.

B: Leave early morning and drive most of the day arriving at roughly dinnertime/evening depending on timing.
Pros: Mirrors the usual timing when we fly, jpurmey probably more interesting.
Cons: DH likely to be knackered when we arrive, potential traffic jams.

C: Drive overnight and arrive late morning.
Pros: Little traffic, baby will probably sleep.
Cons: How does a 10yo sleep safely in the car?? Is the baby going to be grumpy at being woken for a break from the car seat when he's expecting to be asleep? Will we find places open to get food/coffee/etc?

Any ideas/advice/experiences? And what DO you do for a 10yo sleeping in the car? Is it just a case of let them lie down on the back seat and don't worry about the fact he's not really in the seatbelt? He's too tall for a high backed booster, he still sits on a backless one.

I don’t see how flying with lots of luggage can be more difficult that these options. They sound such a palaver.

I've just read your hiring a car to do this.

Have you costed up flights and a hire car in the UK. You can normally take a car seat in the plane included and the buggy to the gate. How can it be too difficult with luggage? What do you think the rest of us do? 2 adults a child and a baby travelling is a pretty normal set up. I would cost up both and think about the time too.

Would an overnight ferry crossing work? For example if you're in France you could choose to drive to St Malo which has a long overnight crossing. Then you could set off from home at a civilised time mid morning, have a picnic lunch, stop again and have dinner near the port, get on the boat at 8ish and have a good night's sleep. You'd get into Portsmouth early morning and be at your destination by lunch.

We did a 13.5 hour drive with my five year old last Christmas, left home at 3.30.

We stopped only for toilet breaks every three hours or so, had plenty of snacks, packed breakfast and lunches and iPad was loaded with his favourite shows. I also made small parcels with things to do such as Christmas activity books.

It all went well until the last hour when we ran out of food and gave him lollies 😧

The journey was three hours longer than expected due to Xmas traffic.

The only overnight ferry we could do would be Rotterdam/Bruges to Hull and it's much much more expensive, even without a cabin. Dunkirk - Dover is the longer one, 2 hours. It doesn't really matter if we do Dunkirk or Calais, we'd just pick the cheapest/one with availability.

Luggage is difficult because getting to the airport here we won't all fit into our small car, once DS2's pushchair is in there it's full, only space for suitcases on laps. so would have to do train (changing twice, wearing bulky winter clothing), and then we'd need to hire a car or work out how to get picked up/coach on the other side, which would leave us less mobile when we get there, and costs start to mount up. Also flight costs are getting higher now and we'd have to go to a less convenient airport, which adds time. Lastly I'm a bit iffy about taking the car seat on the flight - I don't mind so much when it's a plastic booster but I'm worried about damage. It's not a flight appproved one so can't go in the cabin and weighs a ton anyway. We would need buggy + car seat + travel cot, he's too big for the carrycot. Could do that by spreading allowance between both DC but is a pain to transport stuff.

Just looked up luggage courier and it takes days so not really practical. We'd be without for half the trip. But I hadn't heard of that before so interesting suggestion, thanks.

I realise that a 10+ hour drive sounds like a horror to most Brits but as RedDwarves said, when you live somewhere with further distances it does seem a bit more normal. Indeed, most (all, I think) of our UK friends here tend to drive back once they have 2+ DC. They only fly when it's one person. We are good for entertainment etc as have various devices plus music plus car window games. Once we get to the UK we get DS1 to calculate all the speed limit and mile signs into km, keeps him busy.

In addition driving means we can take as much as we can fit in the car, rather than what we can take in hand luggage, and fit presents, food, drink, etc we are missing from home for the way back. The time it takes isn't that much more. Once you've worked out getting to the airport, parking, checking in hold luggage, passport control, picking up hire car and then driving to the place that's also around 10 hours, and at least when driving we have the flexibility to stop whenever we want, don't have to cart luggage around in the cold or rush around stressing about missing things or stand in security queues (or whatever) while the baby needs a feed/change at an inconvenient time. We are getting a good deal on the car hire through DH's work so it is significantly cheaper, which helps. In the future we'll get our own car to do it with.

I'm well versed in the reasons for the car seat time limit so I'm good on that one. Thanks for info :) I probably would be happy stretching to 2.5h or the occasional 3h if we're stuck in traffic etc. I know it's long uninterrupted sessions which are the issue. I know he gets fed up being in and out of it all day though. Hence 2 days feels a bit worse than one long one.

I think the tunnel is looking more doable, though if it takes around 2 hours it's not much quicker than ferry which is crossing time + 1h15, so 2h45 for Calais or 3h15 for Dunkirk. But flexibility is helpful. If we think about contrasting it with the cost of a hotel room, and we can always have a nice long stop on one side or the other to simulate a break. I thought you had to stay in the car for the crossing, though? I know on the ferry you get out and walk around.

Sashh good point about planning breaks to coincide with busy traffic. I remember we came to this conclusion last time while stuck in Brussels commuter jam.

Indeed it would be easier just to make a bed of the back seats - but obv won't do this safety wise. Good idea to switch seats with DS1 to keep an eye on the baby, and the changing mat for stops.

It's about 1000km altogether, a bit less than 700 miles. Agree it's our experience the traffic and motorways in the UK take longer than other European countries. As the speed limits are higher and they tend to be better maintained, except for parts of Belgium.

Thanls all :) Lots to think about.

As Bill Bryson says " Americans think 200 years is a long time the Brits think 200 miles is a longway". :)

I'm wondering whether you could borrow or hire a lie flat seat. Obviously you would have to be sure that the seat was in good undamaged condition.

We've got the Jane Matrix Light 2 and it was a godsend for all the long journeys we do as it meant I didn't have to stop unless DD needed a feed or new nappy.

You stay with your car, but not in the car on the tunnel crossing. Around 4 cars per 'section' depending in size. But you can walk the length of the train to toilet, stretch legs etc. so adults and 10 year old could do that. and baby can be laid down on back seat or a front seat with door open to stretch a bit.

if you think the flight will happen regularly instead, maybe invest in a babybjorn travel cot (lightweight, lasts until 3 ish years), buy a cheaper car seat for travel, and a compact pram. I see the cybex eezy s is £170 at the moment due to black friday, ie would be ok for 4 month old until toddler just for travel, and the cheapest cybex car seat (cybex m currently £90) would fit also as travel system. They all have good second hand resell value for later on

We are pretty much planning to always drive from now on, the stopping isn't a huge deal, we would stop every 2-3 hours anyway. I can't hold onto my wee for much longer and DH needs a break. So I'm not too worried about the car seat. The only person I know with a lie flat seat has the Cloud Q and it can't lie flat in the car so it wouldn't make any difference. Would need to be Jane or Kiddy or Joie and they are all €300+, which I think is silly money for a Group 0+ seat, and certainly not for one trip. We have a very good car seat with a base and I found that expensive enough. We'll choose the next car with the long drives in mind, but car seats I tend to choose with more thought to their everyday use, if that makes sense.

I don’t know who said the channel tunnel is 2 hours. It’s 35 minutes.
The train is functional but you can get out and walk around the carriage and there are windows. Your 10 yo will find it interesting and will love being in the front seat as pp said.

I think arriving in the UK at 4pm is the worst possible time. You will get stuck in rush hour traffic and hit the M25 at 5pm. I would try and arrive in the UK at 7pm UK time.
Also hotel rooms near Calais are about 100 euros. I would definitely be stopping in northern France for dinner; bed, then am early crossing the next day.
Take a travel kettle and flasks so you can make hot drinks.
Cool box for sandwiches wedged in footwell.

There isn’t a perfect solution IME, all have strengths and variables that you can’t control. I know suggestions of 30 min stops for the loo but we’ve rarely managed a stop of less than an hour with a baby in tow; feed and change can easily take this long.
To add another option to the mix could you fly with baby (or both children) on your own and let husband drive at his own pace?

How about you fly with baby and 10yo and DH drives and you meet at the other side? You have the car loaded with all the stuff plus have use of the car once here, but baby and 10yo don’t have the long journey in the car.

Memories beat me to it. I was coming on to say ye fly and dh drives alone. Get a friend to drop ye to the airpirt and dh gets a head start. He picks ye up or family might do it. Have a car/ luggage for your holiday. Fly back, same thing. Maybe he could bring your own car if doesn't need to have ye all in it together with luggage.

Have you looked into TGV?

I've just remembered something else from my time travelling through France to Italy (My mum wouldn't drive through Germany for some reason so the most direct route was out) is sometimes taking the quiet roads, what would be B or C roads in the UK.

It's more interesting for the driver and you often find places to stop.

This was i the days of my mum having the map on her knee, much easier with a sat nav these days.

Train is prohibitively expensive. I'd not thought of splitting it and doing one part each but I think I'd prefer to be together, will see what DH thinks.

Funny, we tend to drive through Germany rather than France, we find the drivers are more predictable and there are no tolls. However when you get to Belgium you find all the lorry drivers have had the same idea so the roads are swiss cheese.

Curly it was 2 hours counting border checks, boarding, waiting time and so on. Easy to believe considering you have the same things on the ferry (usually have to wait to board for 45+ mins in a queue). But anyway I looked at it and you only get that flexibility with a flexi ticket, and we can do that on the ferry too so we probably will do that.

Can you taxi to the airport with your luggage if your car is too small? Or do you have a friend who could drop you all off?

Lots of airlines take buggies and car seats as free extras. Nappies and the like you could pick up at the UK end (could family/friends who you're visiting pick up some consumable supplies for you so you only have to pack the minimum)?

Depending if you needed a car and car seats locally, you could bring the baby one on the flight and buy (or see if you can borrow from local friends/family in the UK) one for your oldest if you didn't want to bring that one with you. High backed boosters are very cheap and often available in big supermarkets or Argos (probably for £35 or less).

Otherwise, I'd stay near the port and get a decent nights sleep before getting on the ferry/tunnel. Leave as late as you can to arrive fairly late at the hotel, kids sleep in the car on the journey too (put them all in PJs or suitable clothes to get straight into bed with). Get a reasonable nights sleep in a bed, early crossing and possibly do the 3hrs the other side as a straight run.

Just check you can drive your car rental abroad though.

Choice A

We regularly drive from Scotland to France, so probably similar distances with the bulk of driving on the U.K. side. This year we drove with our DC aged 5 and 7 for the first time.

I found we were stopping every 2.5/3 hours for toilet stops anyway so breaks out of the car seat will happen naturally. We chose to drive down, overnight crossing with cabin and drive the rest of the journey the following day.

Pros : kids felt it was an adventure going on the boat, slept well on the ferry and fell back asleep quickly in the car. The driving was quite easy because we missed peak traffic times.

Cons : the ferry crossing wakes you very early the next morning so after maybe 4/5 hours sleep - so not a proper nights sleep. If you can cope/DH can drive safely after little sleep you’ll be fine and the kids will sleep in the car.

We grew up doing long car journeys, as result I love driving and can sleep anywhere... have a fab trip.

Yes we have checked, thanks :)

Too far/expensive for taxi to airport. Maybe a friend could but I don't want to rely on something like that so close to Christmas/illness season in case we get let down.

Problem isn't booster seat (he's too tall for a HBB anyway) but the baby one and we'd have no way of getting to a Halfords to get a Joie Juva or whatever - what I'd do otherwise.

Anyway, DH reckons he wants to aim for a midday crossing each way, so leaving v early morning on the way there arriving early afternoon, and leaving at normal morning time on way back. Found the normal ferry ticket will allow us to take the one before/after the booked time if we're early or late which helps.

Thanks all :)