Since havng my own children I’ve realised that my mum was inadequate in many ways. She was not terribly abusive but was just never there emotionally. I went through a very hard time as a teenager but I have no memories of her checking how I was doing. She loved me in her own way but there was no support other than providing food or cleaning the house.
I have a difficult relationship with her now as I find her hard to deal with -she can be sulky, jealous, odd, insecure etc. She doesn’t see me as a separate adult and tries to control me. I pity her in many ways but have to keep a good bit of distance or we will clash too much.
I want to be a better mother to my children. Like when my child is playing with others I advise him that certain behaviour may be percieved as kind or as mean. Or if he has a day at school where he didn’t play with anyone and feels sad then I try to reassure him or think together about how we can make it better the next day.
Any other ideas on how I can be a good mother?