I need some perspective. And advice. I’m being childish and jealous

[tellmetogrowup]

I feel a bit trapped by my reactions and behaviours and need help to get to a place where I’m not acting like this

I’m aware what I’m going to post is jealous and childish. I’m also very fragile so please no harsh responses I need advice how to not feel this way.

DM treats me and my sister vastly differently some examples are
-childcare help for sister not for me
-cleaning help for sister. I have to pay for a cleaner
-lets her have free storage in the house. I have to rent a storage unit
-threw me out of home, let sister stay there free to save to buy
Many many other things

I get on fine with my sister but I feel jealous. I feel like I’m still competing like s child for DM help and approval? I need to accept she isn’t seeing us in the same way is she ?
I feel
So jealous and such a sense of unfairness
Do I need therapy ?

I have no advice and no personal experience but I do have friends who feel the same as you and it's a horrible thing to deal with. I've seen how it's affected them.
Talking to someone who is professionally trained to help you deal with the inevitable emotions this must arouse might not be a bad thing. I've no idea where you'd start, maybe a chat with your GP? Hopefully others will respond to your post with more helpful advice x

Your feelings are not childish or unreasonably ‘jealous’, your mother is manipulative. It’s called ‘Golden child and scape-goat’. It’s unfortunately fairly common.
Have a look on the ‘We took you to Stately Homes’ thread to get more insight to what is going on here, it will be useful to help you decide how to go forward.

From as far back as I can recall any attempt by me to voice how I felt was apparently childish or ‘a nasty case of the green eyed monster’

I feel like I should be able to get over it but I’m struggling and all I see is a situation that’s totally unbalanced

That sucks. You aren't being childish.

Is the rest of your life together? If there's no financial reason that she is helping your sister more then she's pretty shit. As a parent I can't imagine throwing my dc out unless they were heavily involved in drugs/crime.

I agree that counselling would be a good idea.

Again that is classic. And, very sorry to say this, but your mother’s behaviour is very unlikely to change in the future, but how you let it affect you can.
This is where the wise people on the Relationship board and the ‘Stately homes’ thread might help.

No I wasn’t involved in anything like that it was after I argued back. Long time ago now but still hurts

I will look at that thread thanks