How to talk to 9 year old DS about being overweight

[ticketiboo]

Hi. I'm seeking the wisdom of anyone who can help. I'll try to be brief. My 9 year old DS is overweight. He still fits clothes for his age, but definitely has a bit of a podge on him which is apparent when he's naked or, to get to the point, wearing swimming gear.
He starts school swimming lessons in January. He has not expressed any concern to me about this yet but when we were on a family holiday this summer he always wanted to wear a t shirt when swimming and I think it's because he is conscious of his tummy. I want to be prepared for if he does become anxious about wearing swimming shorts in front of his school friends, as I don't think a t shirt will be an option.
How do I deal with it? Do I talk to him about being proud of his body because it's strong and he's a capable swimmer? Do I acknowledge that he does need to lose weight and talk to him about doing this together? Do I try to boost his confidence in other ways and just tell him he's gorgeous?
I am very aware that he's become this way on our watch and we're trying to ensure that we are eating healthily, monitoring snacks and portion size, but I also feel he's way too young to be raising the issue of his weight with, so it's not been openly discussed and I would prefer to keep it that way, just focussing on healthy eating and getting plenty of exercise, hoping that he'll take a wee stretch...
So in short, what I'm seeking is any advice on how to talk to him about it if he becomes upset or starts trying to make up excuses about the swimming. We are on it for trying to help him physically, but I need help with the mental side of things. Thank you.

Rather than try and get him to lose weight, can you instead think of it in terms of his not gaining any, so as he grows it will even out?

Rather than make it a personal issue, I’d try and introduce the idea of family wide healthy eating and living, so eating more sustainably (palm oil in lots of treats, so they have to go), and maybe over Christmas make a donation to the food bank so an excuse not to have excess food in.

Try not to use the ‘lose weight ‘ words but talk about getting fitter.
Is he short? Talll? Sometimes kids gain weight before a growth spurt then it evens out.
It’s also a nice idea to say that everyone is different shapes and sizes and that as long as we’re fit and healthy we can have the odd cake etc.
Does he still have full fat milk? That can be changed if so. Easy swap to make!
I’ve got such a sweet tooth myself and I’ve passed that into my children but I try to reign it in. Bring a parent is hard isn’t it?!

I'd take him swimming regularly if you go local chances are he might bump into a few schoolmates anyway.
If he asks to wear a t-shirt it makes for an easy way to discuss his concerns, if he feels self-conscious about his podgy bits then encouraging self-confidence whilst increasing exercise and eating healthily will hopefully have him feeling better regardless of if he actually loses the podge. Plus lots of time having fun whilst swimming without wearing a t-shirt will help get him in a better frame of mind before class swimming.

How has he become overweight? Junk? Too big portions?

When I noticed a little extra on DD I cut most sugary snacks out of her diet. It’s easy to do during term time I’ve found. No fatty snacks at break - just fruit or veg and no sugary stuff in the lunch box. Don’t have sugary drinks in the house and offer fruit after school. She got back to normal very quickly and didn’t even notice it was happening. I didn’t change meals as it wasn’t necessary. I did bring dinner time forward so she wasn’t eating a lot after school while she was waiting.

Your first course of action should be to rethink what you're feeding him and monitor how much he eats. He's only 9, so you are the one who's responsible for his diet.

I wouldn't mention his weight to him at all. As previous posters have said I would change his diet. I would also look at increasing his activity. Take him swimming more often, trampolining any thing that strengthens the core and work on tums would be good.

i think you should encouraging him to do as much sport as possible, so weekends swim/ bike ride / footy etc. Do it with him as much as possible. Try to encourage his movement so s lot less screen time/ no gaming etc

Get him to love his body for what it can do in terms of sport- strong legs to run far etc, show him his body is a tool not just for image

cook as much as possible and have healthy snacks ie chopped veg or fruit on the side as a snack and get rid of other things

your relationship with your body will have a huge impact, so be the example