Had to lie to the Health Visitor - shall I ring and tell her the truth?

[DonaldDucksTowel]

Had a health visitor visit yesterday, just routine check, everything was fine, except my Mum didn’t know I had anything on and had called in unexpectedly, she kept out of the way but was in earshot of the conversation

I’ve recently been put on antidepressants and haven’t told anyone but my DP so when the Health Visitor asked me how I was and do I think I’ve had any PND or anything like that I lied and said no I’m fine
Now I’m worried that it will flag up somewhere that I’ve been to GP about it but lied to the HV

Shall I ring HV and explain? Or will it not come up?
I don’t feel I need any extra support from her or anything, I just don’t want it on my record that I’ve lied to anyone IYSWIM

Ring her. You’ll feel so much better that you did.

Here’s to feeling better and well done for being brave.

Thank you both

She refused to leave?! That’s bizarre! At least my Mum was half trying not to be in the way ... and I didn’t have my vag out 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don’t think it will matter very much, but I think it might make you feel better, one less thing to worry about and all...

The hv will be very understanding by the way, that kind of thing must happen a lot.

Yes ring her, I'm sure she'll understand in the circumstances and I think it's worth telling her as she may be able to keep an eye on you.

I’d ring and let her know.

My MIL refused to leave the room when my stitches were checked. I had to try and shoo her away.

Ok I will give her a ring today
Thankyou all for the advice

So strange all these mums and mils wanting to be there when stitches are checked 😟!

I wouldn’t bother. She’s not your GP and you’re under no obligation to share your personal medical details with her, unless you choose to do so.

I would. It's unlikely to cause an issue but it'll be god to get it off your chest and the HV will have the full picture. And I'm sure they'll understand!

The HV had to push my mum out of the room when she was checking my stitches, too! My mum had just sat down, as though there was going to be a show. I liked my HVs - they were always blunt when they needed to be.

I would call and explain things, OP. Don't go without their advice, just explain you couldn't talk while your mum was listening. It was the HV's job to talk to you in private; she'll be kicking herself over this.

You don’t have to tell her but it sounds like you want to. Ring the centre and ask for another visit and talk to her again. She might be able to provide some additional support. She certainly won’t judge you for having PND or for not wanting your mum to know about it.

I'd just ring and explain you didn't want to discuss it in front of your mum but that you've been given antidepressants. Just be honest about how its going, my health visitor was lovely and reassuring about any concerns I had so hopefully you'll find similar with yours.

Call the HV and tell her - I know when I feel anxious I worry over everything so this will be one less thing to worry about. HV will be glad you told her and will understand - I've been there.

Well done for getting help and even though it was a nuisance, you are lucky to have your mum nearby, as hopefully she will be able to mind your baby as time goes on so you can get some alone time to recharge which is very important when you have any depression.

Best wishes.

Now I’m worried that it will flag up somewhere that I’ve been to GP about it but lied to the HV

I honestly don't think the healthcare system is this efficient, and you haven't done anything 'wrong'.

However, it sounds as though you are worrying about it so you should tell her for your own peace of mind. The point of the health visitor is to help you, not to catch you out.

It's up to you if you tell her or not. But you didn't lie on purpose because your Mum was there, she will understand that. Sorry you are depressed and hope you feel well soon.

If it's weighing on your mind it's best to tell her, one less thing to worry about.

I think it would be fine to call and tell your health visitor - I would, and did. They understand that not everyone feels comfortable talking about mental health and she should be on board to support you in whatever way is best - whether that's hands-on or minimal.

You don’t (as far as I’m aware) have to tell your hv if you don’t want to, but if you feel you could benefit from the additional support that they’d offer, or want to tell them then you should do.

I’ve just started on ads too, haven’t told my hv because I don’t want to. Hadn’t occurred to me it could flag up in the system though, so I’ll be reading the replies in case I’m supposed to have mentioned it!

Tell her. Perhaps she will realise that in future she should shoo other people out of the room (and out of earshot) whilst consultations are going on!

As far as I’m aware the HV has no right to access your medical records. They’re between you and your GP. However it sounds as if you may like to share this with her anyway so just do it. But don’t do it because you think you’ll be ‘found out’

My mum refused to leave the room when the mw checked my stitches on the sofa

We had a mate doing building work for us when a midwife visited. She asked to see my c-section scar just as he walked into the room (he'd not realised she'd arrived). She didn't stop what she was doing and just pulled my big pants down to see the wound, well after he walked in and he was standing right there! Poor bloke was absolutely mortified and couldn't stop apologising for months about it. It really wasn't his fault. Never seen anyone screw their eyes shut so fast