Hi Adele,
I lost one of my twins when I was 16 weeks pregnant, I had an early scan around 7 weeks pregnant and they could see 2 eggs had been released so definitely not identical twins and we did not need to worry about them sharing a sac etc.
My consultant told me early on that the pregnancy would carry on as if I only had a single baby but that they had expected they would need to induce labour primarily due to "stress" - ie mentally how I would be coping. As it happens at 38 weeks I started to show signs of early pre-eclampsia and they induced me at 38+2.
So on the face of it I sort of agree with your consultant, but I am very wary that this is a difficult trauma and perhaps, uncertainty towards the end is one thing too many on top of everything else.
I believe TAMBA the twin association has a twin loss support page, I had a bit of difficulty accessing it so I'm not in there, but you can write them an email and ask about how to gain access to see what other support there is.
One thing I didn't know, but read recently is that you're allowed to register the birth and death of the twin as if it was a still born loss. I think somehow this would be easier for us as a family ongoing as it would make it more of a "baby" to help the surviving twin learn to understand the loss. An early loss is a weird bubble to be living in, I did feel a little bit like I was supposed to just carry on and accept it as a miscarriage. But it was different.
I carried both babies in my womb for 9 months. One did not grow but was not with me any less.
Lots of love to you.