After school routine?

[ColdCrumpetsAndButter]

What do your DC do after school when they get home?

DH is concerned that there should be a definite routine rather than the relaxed approach we have defaulted into.

DC are at that blessed age where if they don't like what they hear they ignore what's been said. DH seems to think there's a correlation between lack of structure after school and what I would say mostly typical behaviour.

Mine mostly play on the ps4 or watch YouTube. Sometimes they have friends over or go to friends. Depending on the weather they'll either play ps4 with those friends or go to the park/skate park. Some afternoons they have sports clubs too.

I think they are of an age (12 & 14) where they should get to decide what they do themselves.

They have had their fill of structure in school! There is a correlation between them having had enough of routine and letting their hair down at home. I think if you tried to impose structure after a very structured days, they would rebel and you might well find their behaviour worsened!

Play / watch TV
Do homework
Eat dinner
Bath / showers

DD2 goes to bed first
DD1 reads to us before going to bed

Dd is 5. In warmer times it would be a playground followed by home and iPad/activity books, then tea time playing bath bed.

No routine as such, they might go to the park, watch tv, do some crafts or homework - they’ve had enough of structure in school, my D.C. are ready to explode by the time schoolnia done.

They have to hang coats up put shoes away and get changed. Then snack. Then either relax/ play out/ watch telly/ do crafts ( 2 out of 5 days) or do an activity. Then tea, bath, they read to me, I read to them, teeth, bed.

Dd(6) Doesn't normally get home till half 5. I let her chill n watch telly while I make tea. Eat tea when DH gets in 30mins later. Then it's reading, spellings, shower, story n bed for 7:30.

Thank you for all the replies.

We don't do any after school clubs. In the lighter evenings we might go to the park but usually we come home. Have a snack. Put the tv on or go out in the garden til teatime.

I don't see the problem tbh! Who doesn't like to kick back when you get home? I'm wondering if it's the dumping of bags and coats as soon as they come through the door that is the bigger issue or the messy bedrooms?

My 6&7 y olds come in at 5, read their school books and do spelling practise or a bit of homework and then chill out in front of the tv or play with their toys for an hour whilst I do laundry and tidying etc until supper, wash/shower and bed.

Walk home, stop at park if I can summon energy.
Snack, DD reads me 2 pages of her book.
Fanny about until tea time then bath story and bed

We do gym one day and swimming another.
They are 5 and 3.

What is he expecting them to do?

DS is 5. We watch TV, have supper, play then bath and bed. Reading is normally done after breakfast.

Homework if they have any, tv, tea, bath then bed.

Mine do activities after school every day. After that, if there’s time, they practice their musical instruments. There isn’t usually much time for anything else, apart from reading before lights out.

Is there a reason they don’t do any activities, op?

Mine do activities on some days.
On days that they don’t I think they’ve been timetabled all day and it’s good to be different at home. Good to be able to be flexible too.
What sort of routine does your DH have in mind?

We come home children dump everything in the kitchen. Ds (8) goes on his switch and DD (5) changes straight into her PJ's and usually does colouring.

We have dinner then homework then bath. DS then does his reading while I put DD to bed. Then it's time for ds to go to bed and I read to him.

I feel like we waste the after school time and don't really achieve much but we're all tired but I remember as a child coming home and watching TV eating cookies.

Shoes and coats away. Snack. Tv/ipad/Xbox, tea, then all sit down together 6.30ish to watch a tv prog or play a board game.

DD is 5. She has ballet once a week h7t otherwise it could be the park if it's nice weather and she isn't too tired. If not home snack, tv/drawing/toys whatever she fancies doing. Reading her school book to me.Then tea/dinner bath story bed at 6.45....she likes an early night

One day of a movie or family games together, one day of hectic clubs, then usually tv/console games. Dinner about 5ish if we're in.

Both mine are teens so after school it's

Homework
Piano practice
Dinner
Play/chat to friends on their phones

DD has two late nights at activities where she doesn't get in until 9/9.30pm so then it's straight to bed as she's up at 6.30am.

We have something on after school a lot of evenings in the week - on those they don't they just come home and play, colour or play on tablets and watch telly while I sort tea, do reading books, any homework for DD2's intervention group she does, speech therapy homework and the like before tea and just chilling out till bed.

DD1 doesn't cope well with a lack of structure so I try to expose her to it in these smaller doses to get her able to just chill out as well as be on the go constantly.

Mine is 4 so only just started school. We don't have a routine. She has a snack or an early tea depending on how hungry she is (she sometimes doesn't eat much lunch as she's in a hurry to play). We read her book at some point and then watch telly/ play until we bedtime. We sometimes go to the shops, park or friends house.

She has swimming one day a week after school.

I suppose we do have a routine, but it's a pretty relaxed one.

DC are 6 and 9. Their Dad collects them from school or after school clubs (DS does football club one day and DD does drama club one day), they call in at the supermarket on the way home most days, then home where they're free to do pretty much what they like. We do homework at weekends. The only restriction is a limit on screen time - they're allowed about an hour at the most. They read, play with pets, play together or separately, do crafts, squabble, fight and moan. Then have their tea. One evening a week DD goes to gymnastics and DS goes to Cubs. One evening a week DS either has a friend to play or goes to his friend's to play.

I get home around 6:30pm. I do baths and reading with them and settle them into bed at around 7:30 or 8. Then OH and I have something to eat and collapse on the sofa most nights.

How old are yours OP?

We are on a tight budget so don't have much disposable income to be able to commit to activities and the activities we have done historically they've got bored of.

I'm of the mindset that if they aren't mostly keen) to get themselves ready for activity (we all have off days or simply too exhausted I know) and it's causing a lot of stress to get them to get changed let alone leave the house for them to go and enjoy an activity then it's a waste of money and pure stress.

Ages are 8, 6, 3.

Finding something they all enjoy or meet the age criteria is also tricky but for the moment any activities which cost are not an option especially with Christmas on the horizon.

I don't think our after school routine is much different from anyone else's really!

They do watch a lot of TV I suppose. They do dip in and out of the tv though. So it could be on but they have wandered off to do something else. They will also entertain themselves with colouring or Lego or general come up with games which sometimes end up in unintentional mischief.

I'm not sure what DH is expecting! I think he wants them to watch less tv/kindles and also be children who respond immediately to questions/instructions because you know the rest of the children worldwide all jump to attention and obey immediately when spoken to by their parents, don't they? I don't think our children's lack of listening is any cause for concern and it's pretty standard!!

Your evenings sound pretty standard OP... especially the not listening bit :)
They need some time out - they've been doing scheduled activities all day at school (and probably doing what they are told).

I agree that there's no point in dragging them out to activities if they're not keen. We're lucky that our school offers free after school clubs. They only do one paid activity each a week.

I imagine that when your DC are watching TV and playing after school you're busy OP, making dinner, tidying up, packing the next day's lunches etc - you can hardly be expected to lay on wholesome activities for the children every day too!

If you want to make some changes, how about getting into the habit of something like a family board/card game after tea on a Friday, or a little walk out with torches, or a family game of hide and seek when their dad gets in from work. Or just a picnic or pizza dinner together every now and then watching a film.