Does anyone else get people trying to persuade them to drink booze or is it just me?

[SapphireSeptember]

It's not even bloody December yet and it's started already! Full disclosure, I'm a Mormon (sort of) and we're not supposed to drink alcohol. (Some Mormons do, but that's another story.) Even before I became a Mormon I didn't drink much, I'd have the odd glass of wine or cider but that was it (and I now drink non-alcoholic versions.). At work yesterday we were talking about our Christmas outing, I was asked what was I drinking (a hot chocolate if I can get one, it''ll be cold.) Why don't you have a drink? (See above.) But I'm a Christian too! (I rolled my eyes at this and explained that I never used to drink much anyway. Oh, you can drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels in a night? Congratulations, have a medal. Although I didn't actually say that last bit.)
I'm actually getting a bit sick of having justify why I don't drink. I try and avoid food with palm oil in it too, but that doesn't seem to get as much hostility, nor does not drinking for health reasons or having to drive. Does anyone else get this crap or is it just me? It always seems to get worse around Christmas too, which just adds another layer to my anti-social-ness and not wanting to go out and avoid people.

Not me, but my DH. He doesn't drink alcohol purely because he doesn't like the taste of it (ie: not religious or lifestyle reasons) but people just can't seem to accept this. Encouraging him to 'just try it' - he has, he doesn't like it. 'Have a small drop', 'It won't harm you, what are you afraid of?' etc etc.
At a party during the year a relative took me aside and asked in hushed tones if DH was a recovering alcoholic (he's not) and said that people had been discussing that and assumed it was the case!

I'm not a massive drinker myself, a couple of glasses once in a while and I'm happy, but a lot of DH's friends who knock back pints, wines and spirits like there's no tomorrow just can't seem to get to grips with it at all.

I get this regardless of the time of year. I do like a drink occasionally but I'm currently doing No Drink November for no real reason other than I just want to. Went to a friend's house last Saturday for a dinner party and was getting pushed from all angles. "But WHY aren't you drinking?" "Go on, you never get to drink when you come round" (True as I'm usually driving) "It's the weekend, you should be getting drunk!" I even got asked by one person if I was pregnant

It's just the culture here in the UK I think. If you're not drinking alcohol then you're not having a good time. Apparently.

I drink but limit to a glass or two with meals at the weekend, my DH is always offering me more,even though he knows my meds can cause problems if I drink too much

I don't understand the "need" to drink alcohol on every occasion. I went out for a friends birthday when I was pregnant, went to the bar and ordered an Appletizer, the barman looked at me a bit gobsmacked until my friend told him I was pregnang, and then he went "Ohh that's okay then!" What, like it's only okay to drink soft drinks when you're pregnant?!

I dont get hassle when i go through my no drinking phases.
Conversation normally goes ' cool dad, what do you fancy"
Me ' a pint of lime and soda
Them ' sure, ice?'
Maybe they may say 'sure that's what you want' but it's never pushed.

I don't know why some people get a hard time.

I know what you mean but I have found people get over it after a while. My circle of friends don't bat an eyelid any more when I have a pot of peppermint tea while they have a pint. Maybe it gets easier as you get older?

Took my mum a long time to get her head around it even when I was pregnant and breast feeding, and then all through DS being an early riser and generally an exhausting child. By the time all that was done I'd pretty much lost interest in alcohol.

The older I get the less I drink. Mostly because of the way it makes me feel. A bit dehydrated, a bit headachey, I don’t sleep so well, don’t like feeling a bit crappy the next day.

Sometimes people seem to encourage a drink when I’ve said no. But also people often assume I am pregnant. My partner and I had a miscarriage last year. Everyone knows we’re trying for a baby so I am not surprised when they put 2 and 2 together and make 5. But I really don’t want to have to specify each time “no, I’m not pregnant”. Some people really go on as if they’ve figured out your secret and you just won’t admit to it 🙄.

Don’t think I’ve known this happen to anyone I know. Could it be regional / a small town thing? Only living in London, where people have all kinds of reasons for not drinking from being religious to cultural to latest health fad to veganism, I’ve never known anyone to bat an eyelid or even usually ask why when a friend or colleague says they don’t drink. It’s almost as normal as drinking at some of the workplaces I’ve worked in and groups I’ve been to.

The older I get the less I drink. Mostly because of the way it makes me feel. A bit dehydrated, a bit headachey, I don’t sleep so well, don’t like feeling a bit crappy the next day

I echo this! It seems to affect me so much more than it did when I was younger. But yes, the comments from other people can be very trying, especially if there’s just a few of us. I think in big groups people don’t care/notice, but if there’s 2 or 3 of you out for dinner or whatever, people seem to care more that I’m not drinking, or that I only want one glass.

We don't drink and when we're out with friends no-one bats an eyelid when I ask for a large Pepsi or a J20. Much more refreshing to drink.

I think sometimes when people are knocking back large quantities of booze themselves, they fear that you will be judging them if you abstain. Also, when they make complete tits of themselves under the influence, they know that you - being sober - will remember it all the next day! There’s also the hospitality angle - if you refuse drink at someone’s house, they may feel you’re rejecting the seal of their proffered friendship.
Some folk get quite pushy and aggressive in trying to make you drink, especially if they’ve started earlier and are already tipsy. And yes, it’s hugely cultural in Britain- even more so up here in Scotland. Chaps are regarded as not manly if they don’t drink, or if they have a low tolerance and get drunk on small quantities.
There isn’t an easy answer, other than just to refuse politely and keep refusing. If you tell them it’s your religion, that would hopefully stop all but the most aggressive from pushing it further.

Yup...from my FIL every Christmas. I started off not drinking for religious reasons but now do it because I have no desire to drink. Last Christmas FIL tried to trick me into drinking. He asked if I wanted grape juice, I said ok (presuming he was offering a soft drink). He then handed me a glass of wine. When I asked if it was alcohol he said no it’s grape juice, but with a little alcohol in it but I wouldn’t be able to taste it. He has known me for 15 years, and every time I see him, he offers me alcohol. He can’t accept the fact I don’t want to drink. He even has an issue when I drink water! Apparently it’s not the social thing to do at a party and I need to at least have a fizzy drink.

I get this throughout the year but only from one particular friend. She herself has drunk quite heavily over last few years (stressful job, no dependants). She seems to have got used to alcohol and can drink 1-1.5 bottles at a go without any ill effects.

As Babdoc says, I think she feels that by not drinking much myself, I am judging her, but I am prone to headaches so one glass or so with a meal is my limit. I couldnt care less what she drinks so why is she so bothered about how little I drink?

Over the last year or 2 her jovial comments seem to have become more snidey and bullying-like. We always meet with another 2 friends pre-xmas and for various reasons had that meet up in my area a couple of weekends ago. I got really stressed about it and really didn't want it to happen.

It was ok, I drank a glass at our house, a little wine with meal and lots of water. We then went to a wine/cocktail bar. I knew I couldn't just order water, so got a small glass of wine that I sipped and then left remainder of when taxi arrived. As we walked out the friend was pointing to glass and whispering to one of others. I can guess what she was saying.

She really seems to think it is a badge of honour to drink loads and have no ill effects and thinks I am a wuss. I am almost at the point of wanting to see her as little as possible, which is sad as we are in our 50s and would have more time to see each other once retired. However, that thought depresses me.

Fortunately I am not in a minority with other friends and have some who are teetotal, but I do feel for you Op.

If someone gave me wine and pretended it was grape juice I'd give them my best Snape-face and inform them that I wasn't born yesterday. What did you say to your FIL, Wouldyou?

It's good to know I'm not alone! At least when I spend time with my actual friends I don't get this crap, I just seem to gravitate towards people who don't drink (or not much) even without the religious aspect.

I’ve been teetotal all my life (I don’t like the taste) and honestly can’t remember ever being badgered to drink.