Please advise me on this

[Polkadot1502]

Mil comes round to visit dd and every time she's here she'll have a biscuit with her coffee and every bloody time she'll say " she can't have this can she " or " can she have some " dd is dairy intolerant and it's really stressing me out she sees her weekly so don't understand how she can be still questioning it we've known for over a year that she can't tolerate it, how can I get my point across for her to stop asking I'm so worried she'll give her some when my backs turned and pretend she didn't realise she couldn't have it.
Also fil keeps making comments that are getting on my nerves, I don't go to their house because they have a dog who can be quite snappy and every time he comes he makes a comment about it tonight's was " aww mean mummy not feeding you we will take you home and feed you"
Theres quite a bit of back story which I won't bore you with but I feel the commments/ digs are just getting too much! They have caused major problems between me and dp so this on top is too much xx

Does she fully understand? I ask because my DD is dairy intolerant and my parents seem to struggle to understand it. They know she can’t have anything that says MILK on the ingredients but she drinks soya milk and this confuses them. They do keep in biscuits that I have mentioned she likes and they buy her milk free chocolate. My Dad is following the FODMAP diet and he is struggling at times to understand it for himself but he does not understand what it like eating out for us with DD.

Only some gps feed dgcs crap. I have no desire to feed mmy gd rubbish and go out of my way to have good healthy food when she is here.
Also my friends gs is coeliac and she has a special drawer in her kitchen for his snacks that all other gc know about.
Op could you say to fil that you were worried mil was getting forgetful as she kept forgetting dd was intolerant. Maybe she needs a check up with her GP!!
Can they not lock their dog away in his bed for a while so you can visit with their gd. My dsis has a dog that we will not get out of the car with but we call ahead and she puts him in his kennel for our visit. No issue.

RealHousewife - that's the reason I posted. It's not patronising to provide information. You don't need to take it personally.

**wowfudge

RealHousewife - that's the reason I posted. It's not patronising to provide information. You don't need to take it personally

Dont name drop then. Post generally

I honestly think it's the term "dairy" that confuses people who are unfamiliar with allergies.

I started saying the names of every ingredient that dd (now adult) is allergic to instead of dairy and other things, but it still did not sink in.

My mother rang excitedly and told me she'd bought dd a beautiful cake for her first birthday. She arrived with an M+S chocolate caterpillar. We need an emoticon for abject horror

To this day my SIL does "not understand" dd's allergies/intolerances and will say, I've prepared a buffet, surely there's something there she can have.

To this day if we go anywhere I take a packed meal with us, just in case.

Take your own advice then RealHousewife - lactose intolerance really isn't shorthand for dairy allergy.

BlankTimes the number of times I've seen eggs described as dairy....it beggars belief.

Surely its better for your MIL to check every time than accidentally give her something with dairy in?
Based on the examples you have given, I think you are over reacting.

Sorry but mil knows I don't allow dd to eat biscuits and general sugary food anyway there is no need for her to ask me because she knows dd won't have it anyway dd

Sorry posted too soon dd still young enough to still have the baby finger foods etc xx

To be honest, Iwould have lost my patience by this point and not had them round. But if they are coming round, yes to dairy free everything, and if you have time you could make dairy free biscuits.

@wowfudge said you werent aiming your post at me... yet clearly were so why not take your own advice and cool off

OP - might it help to have a list of the things your child cannot have - including ingredients like whey powder and foods/branded things you know your ILs have in regularly? You could also have a list of, for example, foods which are a source of calcium, vitamins and minerals in place of dairy? Even listing things which contain vegetable fat instead of butter could help. Once your DD starts eating a wider variety of foods there will be things you have in just for her, e.g. Vitalite, soya milk, etc so that helps others recognise what she can have.

@TheRealHousewifeofCheshire - your 'shorthand' gave an incorrect impression about dairy allergy. I posted because it's a common misconception and of course being given dairy can be awful, and dangerous, for a child with CMPA. If I'd wanted to tell just you, I'd have pm'd you. I did post generally - you just didn't like your error being pointed out. If you found that patronising, that's your problem.

*@TheRealHousewifeofCheshire- your 'shorthand' gave an incorrect impression about dairy allergy. I posted because it's a common misconception and of course being given dairy can be awful, and dangerous, for a child with CMPA. If I'd wanted to tell just you, I'd have pm'd you. I did post generally - you just didn't like your error being pointed out. If you found that patronising, that's your problem.**

Urm, nope. As I said we have been through it. I dont need to justify myself.

Whatever.

Good luck OP. Pack lunch bags and opt fpr dairy free. Hope it works out

Prime example today!!
Partners brother has asked her not to take his child to eat at a certain fast food restaurant as it makes her have a funny tummy! She had other gc today and told me she's going to said restaurant when I said didn't he ask you not too because it makes her ill she said, that's rubbish it only a one off!!

Meaning that's rubbish it makes her have a bad stomach xx

Well you know it's not personal - it's her MO! In your shoes I would avoid letting her have care of your child when you aren't around and would sit her down and explain the affects of the allergies for your DD in graphic detail. She's dismissing genuine concerns as parents being precious for no good reason.