Don't feel I've got many friends and it's getting me down (wedding related)

[zighazigha]

It doesn't usually bother me but we are getting married in February next year and have about 50 guests, mostly family. People have since commented on how small the wedding is and if there will be dancing etc (yes there will!!). Then have asked me how come I don't invite more people. The truth is I don't have many friends! I have one friend left from school, three from university and one who I used to work with. These are all people I'm really close to and see quite a lot. I just don't have a big group of friends!!

I used to be part of a relatively big group at college who all still hang out together but I lost touch with them years ago as I was never brilliant at going to social events (I have social anxiety).

Anyway I know the wedding isn't about how many people there are but I now feel from other's comments that it's going to look a bit shit and pathetic.

Fuck what anyone else thinks, it's great to have a small group of fantastic friends.

It's your day and as long as you and your oh are happy, everyone else can get a grip.

In reality, very few people have more really close friends than you.

Thanks both. People have been saying as we're so small we shouldn't bother having dancing in the evening, but we both enjoy music and dancing and so do most of the people we've got coming so I had thought that was ok.

Of course you should have dancing! Who are these people who think you shouldn't dance?

Your wedding sounds like the perfect size to me. Most people are inviting work colleagues and hordes of cousins they barely see to weddings when they are larger than about fifty people anyway.

We had 50 people at our wedding and there was dancing in the evening. How weird people are, would they rather you just invited a load of hangers on? I had a fantastic day and I’m sure you will too.

These people sound weird, why would you need loads of people for dancing?

Oh thank you all. I was starting to think I should be inviting a load of work colleagues just to make the numbers up!!!

I had a very tradition wedding with every tom,dick and harry invited dispite not wanting any of it and wanting a very low key event( family wanted a big thing...well my mum did). My marriage went down hill and in hindsight i wasted so much money feeding and entertaing random people for that one day. I remarried last year and it was literally the opposite to my first, just me, husband and 2 witnesses at register office, we then went out to eat. We saved a whole lot and put deposit on a house had a little one and went on 2 holidays all within a space of a year.

It is up to you...its your wedding. Keep it about what you both want to do. Its just one big party, and yoill only ever see half these people once in a blue moon

Dont take their nonsense on board, have the day you want.

Second before last wedding I went to had 35 guests. It was quite nice actually, we talked to everyone that we wanted to talk to during the day and dinner and we danced afterwards. If it's a good bunch then the number attending really is enough to have a lot of fun. It's more personal when there's fewer people. Theres less talk about the weather and "how do you know the bride and groom" and more real talks and laughs.

I just think people are astounded I genuinely don't have more friends to ask! DP doesn't either, he's just got a small group of close friends and two of them are having babies around the wedding date so they won't be able to come anyway.

I had 42 at our wedding, I'll admit I was worried beforehand as I compared it to my friends who had 100+ but I'm so so glad we didn't. We got to dance and actually talk to everyone on the day it was wonderful. We had a ceilidh in the evening which went down well, all in all I'd rather have a smaller wedding simply for the fact you can enjoy it with the people you love the most.

Your wedding, your day, it's bloody rude of people to comment! Fwiw I prefer smaller weddings

Who are these rude people who are commenting?

Honestly, OP, we have loads of friends, though very scattered around the world these days, and enormous families, and we got married with two witnesses in jeans, because organising a wedding of any kind is my idea of total hell. Have the wedding you want, not the one someone else thinks you should have.

Our wedding was a similar size to yours and it was a great day. Our dance floor was busy all night and I had time to talk to all of our guests and enjoy their company. No regrets at all.

Have a brilliant wedding day. Best wishes in your married life.