Am I depressed or is it just menopause?

[Canshopwillshop]

Please help, I’m losing the plot. For the last month or so I have been feeling so low. I have a constant feeling of dread in my stomach and feel so anxious. I keep crying over everything, particularly about my teen DD growing up so quickly and I keep wishing she was little again. Stupid I know but I have been dwelling on it so much and looking at old photos etc. She is going through a bad skin phase and has also just split with her boyfriend and I swear I’m more upset than she is about both these things! Not that she would know as I obviously don’t show her!

I don’t seem to be able to look forward to anything. I should be so grateful for everything I have but I’m sat here in tears. I started St Johns Wort last week but I’m not sure if I need something stronger. I hate the thought of taking anti d’s but feel I can’t cope with feeling like this much longer. I want some joy back in my life!

Can anyone relate? Do you think this warrants a trip to the Dr or is it just normal hormonal stuff?

I’m sorry you’re feeling so low OP, I’m in the same boat. I’ve always had depression but since the menopause I’m incredibly anxious and my mood is worse. I don’t know how to tease out what is going on.

Thanks for your reply myidentity. It’s shit isn’t it?

Hi Can, wanted to reply but don't have the answer as to whether it's depression or the menopause. I do relate though. I am 51 and have fluttering in my stomach and feel anxious usually in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. I have been reading about St johns Wort and thinking of taking it too! I imagine it takes longer than a week to start working.

What does help is getting out in the fresh air everyday and simply walking. The worst thing I find is staying indoors all day and brooding. If you have a friend who makes you laugh try to chat with them regularly. I am naturally lazy and duck out of all exercise usually but if you can force yourself to take some exercise it will help. Sending you a hug.

Thanks Westwing. I’ve just taken my dog for a walk and I do feel a bit better - you are right about getting out of the house and in the fresh air. I think I will give the St Johns Wort a bit longer to kick in and then go to Dr if I still don’t feel better. Hugs to you too.

It could be either, oestrogen is a protective factor against depression and so having less of it will make you more vulnerable. But the advice for menopausal depression is not antidepressants so do all the other things that may help either way and generally look after yourself, do some exercise, eat well, get a balance of work, rest and play etc. Hope things begin to improve

Thanks Digestive.

Canshop I've been on 20mg citalopram for 4 years now and have tried to come off it over the past 6 months. Got down to 10mg a day but had so many days/weeks when I was just so very low and miserable that I've gone back to the full dose. I suspect I'm in peri (am 49) . My female doctor 2 years ago advised staying on AD until through menopause. Male doctor doing prescription review last year told me to come off them so felt I had to try

Its not just feeling a bit low, its an all-encompassing gloom that feels like it wont ever go. Yes exercise helps but its not possible to exercise for the 3-4 hours a day that I would need to be active outside to make me feel better. I didn't get suicidal (this time) but really felt like I was a worthless piece of shit who didn't deserve anything good or nice. It was like having a goblin sitting on my shoulder, telling me 24/7 "you're ugly you're stupid, you're pathetic. No one likes you. No one wants you. You're a failure in everything. Your kids dont need you - they have their dad". Still get that goblin when on the AD but find it possible sometimes to tell it to sod off

Oh Blobby that sounds horrible. I am quite negative about myself but not all the time. I do exercise and try to eat well but I’ve found I am drinking alcohol in the evenings to help lift my mood - a couple of glasses of wine always makes me feel better but the effects are short lived and make me feel worse the next day.

Im on AD's too.I have been on them on and off long term before the menopause. But Im still very depressed, tearful and hopeless. My gp offered me the crisis house. I recently restarted my old AD after trying to come off and try different ones over the last year or so and Im currently building up my dose again. I wish I'd just stayed on them in the first place. I'm also having psychotherapy.

I am getting more menopause symptoms recently. More sweating, anxiety, vagina is broken, can't sleep, so I don't know if I am needing maybe oestrogen but I dont want to take hrt.

Im 51 and my period stopped 2 years ago.

I can so relate. I’ve just had three months off work because I was just crying at my desk. I kept wondering if I was depressed as well as having insane work levels but somehow that didn’t seem right. Anyway, eventually went to my doctor who did a blood test and suggested I try HRT. I did lots of research and couldn’t find any evidence that natural options dealt with menopause related mood problems so I’ve gone for the hormones because I want myself back. Too early really to say but definitely worth trying. My mum’s went on for years and was so awful for her and us and I don’t want that.

How are your vitamin D levels, OP?

please let us know if it works out for you notdancing. That sounds awful, have you gone back to work yet? BTW from your research, do they know if ad's can work with menopausal depression or if you need hormonal treatment? Im so confused.

As far as I can see, ADs will tackle the depression and a lot of women do take them at this point. But they won’t deal with the hormone depletion which is the underlying cause.

I’ve chosen to take the very small increased risk of cancer as a pay off to get my life back. I’d done all the lifestyle things with not enough difference and I’ll continue with them to decrease the risk as much as I can.

I know HRT is scary but I’m going to persist for a few months to see if I can get me back and I’m open to doing it for up to five years if necessary. Quite a few women have said that they did find a real difference.

I hope the HRT works for you Notdancing.
Wally - I wondered about Vit D too. I’ve no idea if I’m deficient but I’m going to start taking a supplement in case.

And yes Notdancing - you’ve hit the nail on the head - I just want ‘me’ back!

Canshop the problem with going to the doctors is that its often hit and miss whether you get a good one who listens to you or whether you get the one who dismisses it as women's problems! Yes, they do still exist!

I've been toying with the idea of looking at my diet and consulting a nutritionist (just a bit skint at the moment!) . I know a few people who swear by herbalists but knowing my luck I would get the cowboy one!

I know H & B do a brilliant multi vitamin for women of our age (that sounds horrendous!!) and might go back there and see if I can find the knowledgeable lady ( rather than the school leaver!) for some advice!

Blobby - I’m sure it would help to take a decent multi vitamin. My cupboard is full of them but I take them in fits and starts. I really need to start taking them religiously as I’m now desperate to feel better.

Canshopwillshop sorry for asking a question and then disappearing yesterday, life got in the way.

I asked the question because a lot of what you described could have been applied to me a couple of years ago. A blood test showed Vit D levels were rock bottom. A supplement taken for a few months and I was back to myself again. That's not to say that there might not be other factors at work.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

@wallyfeatures - thanks. Did you just take a standard supplement or were you prescribed a high level one? Ive just got a vitamin D spray from Holland & Barrett which I’ve just started to use.

Wally - you may be on to something as I’ve also had a bit of hair loss which can also be caused by vit D deficiency. I really hope it’s that straightforward.

Empathy here.. about to turn 51 , had a hysterectomy years ago but kept my ovaries which I suspect making me exhausted, grumpy and totally fed up with the world!
I don't want to take tablets but am forcing myself to exercise in the hope it helps!
(Also I'm staring at my expanding middle with dismay..never had to diet before!)

Can - I had the thickest hair, hairdressers would comment and try to thin it, last couple of years it is like I am a different person, it's falling out massively, I have had it cut much shorter and about to try hair supplements. My sister screamed when she saw how thin my hair is, having not seen me for months.

Still - I was between 7 1/2 and 8 1/2 stone right into my late 40's (excepting pregnancies), am now (age 51) having to diet to stay at 9 st 3 lbs.

I eat a lot of fish and veg, thinking I now need supplements, ditch the wine and lift weights.

Has anyone looked into 5-HTP? I've been taking it for a few weeks now before I go to bed and it's helped me to sleep and really eased my anxiety. I use NU u brand on amazon. Also use evening primrose and starflower oil with added vit b from Holland and Barrett along with vit D. I am also in hrt patches now and have been for a month. I do actually feel considerably better.

OP there is a programme about the menopause on BBC1 at 9pm next Monday. Might be worth watching.