I'm lonely. Single mum again.

[FoxBoxRox]

I have no friends. I find it impossible due to anxiety.

I had online friends but I pushed them away.

My relationship is breaking down and I know I'm going to be alone again soon. When my kids go to their Dad's I feel so alone.

I even self harmed because I felt so lost.

I just want to know if anyone else feels like this

Bump

Dunno what to say but it is a lonely place & you are not alone
Can you distract yourself? I found MeetUp helpful at first...

Thankyou for replying.

I guess the normal reaction is to make friends but I find it so difficult to maintain friendships because I find socialising stressful. So people give up on me.

Tell us about your life OP. How old are the kids? What are you watching on TV at the moment? My DD is going to keep me up for a while so I can chat

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. I think the time of year can rub it in more as we come up to Christmas

How often are you self-harming?

I know life can at times be utterly shit. But I also know as trite as it might sound that the only way out is through.

If you're self-harming and having persistent thoughts of anxiety and depression do you think a trip to your GP might be in order just to get you through for the while?

Have you self-harmed recently? Is there a family member you can call/speak to if you are on the verge of self-harning again? If you get to that stage I honestly hope you can speak to someone or get help via your GP/Samaritans etc.

Hope you are ok

No I haven't.

I used to selfharm before I was with my current partner because I was alone a lot of the time. Weekends when ExH had the kids were worse.

I haven't self harmed for about 18 months.

But I'm worried that when DP leaves I will go back to that place

I'm on meds for anxiety and depression.

Socialising is bloody horrible! I hate it too. There are other socially awkward people out there, trust me. Can you get to groups? Even libraries and cafes?

If you feel that your mental state is getting worse, then it would be a good idea to see your doctor and tell them. It won't make it all better, but it might make you feel more able to cope with the difficult times ahead.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, is there any way you could talk everything over with your partner? Do you want it to end? Would he be likely to work out a plan with you, so all the practical things are taken care of?

Yes I want it to end. It's me ending it.

It's not right being with the wrong person because you don't want to be alone

This to me sounds like an issue with your relationship rather than an issue with being a single mum. When/If you break up yeah it's going to be shit for a bit, but then it gets better and you move on with your life, until the next shit storm appears. Then the process repeats.

Well no, because when I am single I have literally nobody.

But I don't want to bring anyone into my kids lives again. I don't want to do this again
I just want to be ok on my own.

Try putting your postcode into here.

beta.nhs.uk/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/search

With any luck you'll have a therapy service in your area where you can self-refer. I'm doing the online CBT course and am finding it useful.

You're not alone OP, Christmas is a particularly shit time of year when all these insecurities come out. The less you think about it the better.

As for socializing, you may need to go to one of those meetups where you don't have to do much one on one. Just sit in the corner and listen, go easy on yourself and take it slowly.

You got this