SO NERVOUS about dentist tomorrow I'm shaking already. No idea what to do.

[AbsentmindedWoman]

Really shit with dentists and am terrified I need an old filling taken out, some more decay has formed behind it or something.

My mind has gone all swirly and incapable. I can't make decisions. I need to choose between an amalgam filling or some sort of white filling - don't know what kind, didn't even know there are multiple sorts of white filling options (composite or porcelain?) until this afternoon.

Are amalgam fillings the most hard wearing? I've read that some of the white fillings can irritate where previously there was amalgam?

My biggest fear is being left with ongoing horrific pain. I can't afford to spend thousands trying to fix something with private dentistry and I don't have it in me to have to start a massive longterm battle with NHS dentists who can't fix my pain. I have other chronic pain already, I literally cannot handle anymore longterm pain.

A family friend had trouble with a tooth - lots of work, then ended up having the tooth out but still left in severe pain as something wrong with the nerve in his face. Unsurprisingly, his mental health really suffered.

I am so terrified of being in a similar situation to this person.

Hi there

I hate going to the dentist too, I really understand. I had a lot of fillings as a child and even though I look after my teeth well now there is only so long they will last.

I have found a way to get through it, because otherwise as you say the consequences get worse. I tell them I'm nervous, ask them to briefly explain how the procedure will work and then I close my eyes and imagine I'm on a beach with the warm sun on my face. I know it will only last a certain amount of time. It somehow works for me.

On the fillings, you will get conflicting advice but my understanding is that the key thing about the white ones is that they don't have mercury in them, are white and are more expensive as they aren't available on the NHS. My dentist has never tried to influence my decisions on which to go with and I've ended up with a mix of both based on how visible the filling will be. I don't think one is supposed to any more long wearing than the other but it would be worth asking.

Take some paracetemol before you go, I find it helps a bit with the injection.

Good luck! You will get through this.

Tell them you are nervous.
Wear earphones and listen to something distracting.
Amalgam. Less likely to need redoing.

Ahh, I feel for you as I used to be very nervous in the dentists chair. Thankfully even though I needed a lot of work it was done with such compassion that I’m more confident now. Please tell the dentist how scared you feel, they are very used to this. Perhaps have some music on headphones? Remember having the work done is preventing future problems. Good luck

I was told white ones better for big fillings because they bond to the tooth itself whereas amalgam just ‘sits’ in tooth. Mine wasn’t as bad as I thought and it was for a crown.

I asked my dentist if he could stop if I put my hand up for a breather and this helped me a lot.

I am in the process of having all my amalgam fillings replaced with white ones (as and when they are needed) as cosmetically they look so much better. I have had the amalgams ones for probably 20 years, no problems. I have had no problems with the white ones either. I HATE going to the dentist, and come out shaking. But I will say, my dentist is lovely, and a filling takes less than half an hour. My fear is irrational. I try to imagine myself elsewhere. Inevitably I go back to being scared, and I have to shake myself out of it and go back to my nice place, and before I know it, they are done! Always quicker than I expect!

Thanks for your replies. I just hate it so much. The idea of headphones makes me feel even worse, like one of my senses is being compromised - I hate the loss of control, I hate the sensations, it's all so invasive...But I can manage all that, it's the fear of dreadful pain I can't get past.

In my experience, when dreadful pain occurs, the dentist is faintly impatient, has no clue of how bad it is, and is not that interested in making the pain stop.

Originally, I was leaning in the direction of having white filling to replace this one. I googled to see if white was as long lasting as amalgam and it threw up all this confusing stuff about dentistry and pros and cons and I just don't feel able to choose.

I fucking hate dental stuff, I feel confident and able to have an informed opinion on every other aspect of my healthcare but dental reduces me to a terrified and stupid mess.

I think you need to really try to have more faith in the competency of dentists. I'm sorry your friend had a bad experience - but the vast majority of people will never come across incompetency in dentists, or doctors, or any other highly trained medical professional. You have to trust them to know what they're doing - because they do. Take their advice on the type of filling, try to zone out (lie there and really focus on what Christmas shopping you need to do - that sort of thing) and keep remembering it will be over soon.

Hope it went well today.