Feeling like I'm always unusual, difficult or that person

[Alwaystheoddoneout]

I've name changed for this, even if some people think it's obvious who I am.

I consider myself to be the average person. But there are so many times when I'm made to feel that I'm either weird, or a difficult customer. I don't want to be. I'm not one of these people who wants to be different or "individual" for the sake of it.

There have been several times when I've had problems with things or products I've bought, and I've been told it's unusual, or that this type of complaint is very rare. Or "I've been working here for years and nobody has ever complained about this before". I'm not someone who complains all the time, in fact I usually keep quiet because of stuff like this.

I find it hard to find clothes that fit me, so I feel very alienated from the high street. I'm always told there's no demand for what I'm looking for. Even a certain shops that a lot of people here recommend have told me they can't help me, or there isn't enough demand for my size and shape. It makes me feel left out during yoga as everyone else is usually slim and normal looking and I feel like I stand out. I know we're not supposed to be looking at other people but let's admit it, we do.

The clothes that I do have, I would consider average or mundane but people sometimes tell me I have a "quirky" dress sense which I don't think I do. I just dress as normally as possible.

I have a couple of hobbies and interests which I would consider average but again people see it as unusual.

Even my job, which is a boring office job by most standards, some people find odd or don't understand why I do it.

I've had quite a bit of stress in the past so these days I try to lead as mundane a life as possible. I know we can't have everything we want but I really feel like people over-analyse other people's life choices. I live in a big city but sometimes I wonder if people are just being small minded.

I remember a similar discussion a while back where a couple of people said they'd been diagnosed with aspergers as adults and suddenly everything made sense, but that's not the case here.

What are you asking? It sounds more like you’ve come across a bunch of snotty retail assistants!

The things you write apply to me too, and probably much of the population! Retail assistants are always snotty about returns, most shops make clothes for a particular figure and options are limited if you're outside that, hobbies and jobs are often unique to the people who do them...

I'm reminded of the famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent".

Are you sure it's you? Either you're really sensitive or you have really judgy friends who need to mind their own business. Who the fuck cares what other people do as a job or hobby?

Clothes, sometimes it's hard to get stuff you like that fits, that's understandable. I'd never comment on someone's dress sense though unless saying I liked a skirt or something.

I don't think it unusual for people to notice, remember and feel those times they are marked out as different rather than the same. It is also not unusual for people to feel like they are an outsider even uf ithers would not think that of them.

Without concrete examples it's hard to say.

Who are all these people making these comments?

If it’s occasional shop staff and one or two family members, it may not be you that’s unusual/difficult.

If it’s most people you come into contact with, then there probably is something about you that is non-typical.