Anyone share custody with an Ex in hospitality??

[TheseThingsAreFunAndFunIsGood]

Just that really - am thinking of splitting from my OH but we have 2dc and he's a chef.... How the heck would sharing custody work?? Normal shared custody is something like every other wknd and a weekly midweek contact which would be desirable for Quality contact time with the DC (& for me, obviously) but I just know OH would try to claim he can't take weekends off.. just wondering if anyone has had a situation similar where a court (if it came to that) has found in favour of the weekend contact?
Tia.

Hopeful bump.... 🙄

Anyone got any ideas?

Do you work also? Not sure how it would work but I guess the arrangement would have to take into account your work hours also.

Well, normally access is sorted out between the grown ups, having to go to court is a last resort. Have you discussed with your stbx? Knowing what you do about his schedule, what would you propose?

Even if you go to.court and they say EOW, it's no guarantee that he'll take the kids, and if he does, he'll need childcare which is a) difficult at weekends and b) not the point of contact.

The court will look at what’s best for the children. If he’s at work all weekend then him having them all weekend isn’t going to work our best.

Could he have them 2 days in the week instead? Do the school runs etc?

It is always best to avoid court where possible.

I'm not sharing custody, but my DP is a chef, so drawing on that a little - does your STBX have any days he definitely has off or does he find out his hours at short notice (mine is on a weekly rota announced a week in advance, it's a nightmare)? Could he request the same two midweek days off, eg Tuesday and Wednesday and be trusted to do school runs? He'd still get quality evening time, if nothing else. If he works mostly evenings, can DC spend a weekend morning with him before he has to leave for work?

Not hospitality but my exh has a job in a pretty much 24/7 environment. He has every third weekend off and he will spend one weekend with DS and then have one to himself. So in theory he has DS one weekend in 6. He has DS midweek as well as he gets weekdays off when he works weekends.

Both of us are happy with the arrangement. It is the nature of his job and he can't do anything to change it. He recognises that I do the majority of childcare and that I am the resident parent rather than saying we share custody. We never went to court as there was no need.

The arrangement has had no negative effect on DS which is the most important thing.

There is no "norm" really, it's about what works for you individually.

Thanks for the replies. Yes I do work but a combination of part-time and work from home (trying to build my own business); part-time hours I can, at the moment at least, choose my own so not a problem.

The thing is I feel he Should have the kids at least some time on the weekends as otherwise they get no proper time with him if they are in school for most of the allocated contact time? Tbh it's part of the reason I want to split, I feel he does the Absolute Minimum parenting as I'm always around and the kids prefer me for any requests/interaction and he has Zero interest in interacting with them. He'd happily do Sod all with them on his days off (currently not weekends) but justifies it as they're school days...

Ideally I'd want him to have them at least on the sunday running through to Tuesday which seems fair!

How far ahead does he get his rota? Could you agree two overnights plus one teatime visit per week to be arranged as soon as the rota is published?

The thing is I feel he Should have the kids at least some time on the weekends as otherwise they get no proper time with him if they are in school for most of the allocated contact time?

But if he’s working, what time would there be? If a court made him have the kids, would he have to quit his job (how would that impact you in terms of maintenance, could he lose him home and therefore not be able to have the kids overnight) or does he have family to help with childcare?

Not us, but when our nephew was tiny his dad (BIL) was in hospitality.

Nephew would come over every other weekend and family would pitch in to look after him when BIL was at work. I know contact time is supposed to be with the parent, but his mum worked the weekends she didn’t have him and dad needed to work to earn.

He’s in his teens now and we all have a lovely relationship with him, probably down to the fact we had him so much when he was tiny.

Most people work out access between themselves - if you can work out arrangements which are suitable for everyone and can be a bit flexible then it will work out for you. Unless he changes job there's nothing you can do about weekends

Throw it back at him .

If he only wants one night a week no court will be able to make him . So you need to find out what he wants before you can move forward.

He could have extra time at holidays if he is working evenings ?

*He'd happily do Sod all with them on his days off (currently not weekends) but justifies it as they're school days...

Ideally I'd want him to have them at least on the sunday running through to Tuesday which seems fair!*

It sounds like you are more concerned about making sure STBX does his fair share than you are about ensuring the kids are happy and settled.