WOHP who were SAHM experiences please!

[StinkySaurus]

I’m contemplating going back to work or not once my maternity leave finishes. I really want to stay with my baby. And in an ideal world I would until she was at school. However, I’m worried about finding a job if I did do that. Currently my employers are very flexible and have agreed to 3 days a week on my return. So I would fear not finding a job that is so flexible. I also worry about loosing my confidence if I’m out of the workplace for too long. But I also get massive pangs of Mum guilt! Gahhhhh why isn’t parenting easier!!!!!!!

So How did you find returning to the work place? Why did you? Does your job give you a good home/ work balance?

I got a job at my childrens' school...

Stick with three days. It’ll be fine

Honestly, do the job.

I didn't and I can't find anything part time, they all want me to start full time and drop down in a few years which is the wrong way!

It's three days a week so you'll still be with your DC four days a week.

A lot of women find 3 days perfect but there's no one situation to suit everyone. Personally I'd never give up my job if it was family friendly and I valued it - too big a risk and sacrifice.

My dc are 4 anf 6 and I do 3 days. It's as perfect as it can be - I have plenty of time for the kids but still developing my career.

Thanks guys. That is what I’m thinking but it’s so gut renching to think I won’t be with my baby for 3 days a week. And I hate the idea of her crying and not being there to comfort her or thinking I’ve abdoned her.

But then I think it would be good for me and my identity to have some time not being ‘mini stinky’s Mum’. And it would be good for her to have me as a working role model. And perhaps it would help me ‘recharge my mummy batteries’. And financial security is important incase something happens to me stinky or his job.

Can you see I’m conflicted.

I was like you , very conflicted. In the end I went back to work 3days pw and felt so much joy at not having a little human stuck to me all the time I mean, I could have a poo in silence!!!

@happy hahaha! You are leaving the dream! I often do fantasise about napping during my lunch break and weeing alone ......

Stick to the 3 days.
I went back to work full time after having my dd & felt in was crap in work as I was constantly worried about her or tired or stressed as house was a mess & I felt I wasn't being a good mom.
Then at home I was stressed as felt I wasn't giving my best at work.
Going down to 3 days gave me the feeling of getting out of the house so I was still me but also knowing I was still there for my children. It was a great balance.

I could only go back to work 5 days a week so I didn’t go back after DS1
I then got a completely different job working from home in the evenings.
Then I had DD and wanted a more social job to get out the house
So I worked in a restaurant in the evenings, had DS2 and kept working at the restaurant
Then when DS2 went to school o got a job working from home part time In school hours
Then the company went bankrupt so I then got a temping job again in school hours covering maternity
The person I was covering for didn’t come back so I was offered a permenant role and upped my hours. Kids now have to go to afterschool club twice a week and I finish in time to pick them up the other 3.

I am really really happy with my current job and company and although I guess I would be higher up and earning more money if I’d stayed in ‘proper’ job rather than the restaurant I don’t regret being at home with the kids while they were little.

PS the work from home jobs were proper jobs for proper companies not MLM or self employed or anything.

I don't like the way these arguments turn into an all or nothing situation.

You have to decide how long you feel your dd will need you. And you can afford to stay with her.. Nothing major will happen in the job world for a few years.

In your shoes I would see if I could take 2 years off then go back 3 days... The time flies by.
My personal preference is not to leave my dc until they can clearly communicate their feelings to me. That could be lots of non verbal clues too.

Brie that sounds like the perfect compromise.
Personally I think dc in after school care and morning clubs have long long day.
If it can't be helped it can't be helped but it's not something I would choose for my dc for my career

I truly believe I'm a better mum working 3 days, it gives my brain a different work out from the mundane but tiring baby stuff. and I focus more on quality time when I am off. and I don't think I'd be able to get.my job with a career break.

Thanks for all of your replies. For those of you who went back to work did you WANT to go back initially? Or was it something that you found worked for you once you had started working?

I stayed at home until DS started school full time. I was then very lucky to get a school hours job working 9.30-2.30. I love my work/life balance.

In your shoes I would see if I could take 2 years off then go back 3 days...

You generally can't go back working three days if you've taken two years off. The way to be able to work a reduced schedule is to go back into the job you were already doing where you have built trust and capital. If you take two years off you have to be prepared to either go back FT or do minimum wage shift-based type work.

Stick with the three days.
I totally get where you're coming from, I remember how awful I felt leaving my eldest at nursery, and how I couldn't wait to get back to him.
But it's so hard to get back into work if you've had years off. I'm glad I carried on working; sadly my marriage didn't work out and I suddenly found myself on my own with three young DC. Luckily I can support myself due to being in work, I know of others who really struggled as they'd been a SAHP and couldn't find any work.

I had to go back for the money (single parent) so there were no dilemmas for me. I went back full time, we all survived. The kids are happy and healthy. Sometimes you've just got to do what you've got to do!