Teach me how to make friends?

[KateGrey]

I quite often feel like a bit of a saddo as I don’t have loads of friends. I have one or two but not really good friends. I have two special needs children and work part time mostly from home. I must admit at times I’m lonely. Especially when I see social media showing everyone going out.

I have quite solitary interests and don’t have loads of spare time because of the children and their needs.

So how can I change this? Or should I just not bother?

Get a sociable hobby? Choir or anything that genuinely interests you? Are there any school mums you like so you could suggest going for a coffee? I think get out of the house more and doing anything that increases your self confidence would be a good first step. Most adults make friends through work or stuff like nct, in my experience, so you might need to be quite proactive! And social media is disheartening so try not to pay too much attention to that! You could always suggest a mumsnet meet up?!!

Could you join a support group connected to your dcs disabilities? You would meet like minded people and have a lot in common.
Even chatting to moms at swimming lessons or other activities.

When I arrived all alone in a new place, I actively looked out for people in my position. I'd notice people standing by themselves pretending to read their phone or other people who were also obviously new. I found that they were far more receptive to making friends than others who already had an established group. It took a little time, but it worked.

You don't mention this being an issue for you, but Celeste Headlee has an interesting TED talk on tips for having a good conversation. She also gave a longer talk to Google employees which is good for bolstering confidence with starting conversations with new people.

Good luck!

Look at meetup.com to see if there are any groups in your local area that you might enjoy.

Agree with PP, a group for parents and children with SEN could work well for all of you.

Yeah, made loads of friends through special needs kids groups.
They're so relaxing to hang out with, no comparisons to live up to, no having to make excuses, sympathy and dark humour in spades.