Why the hell can I do nothing right

[biggreenfingers]

Why is everything I do wrong. I'm at the end of my tether.

My 17 month old is just in a constant huff and has been for about a year. She's always whinging at something.

Today, at a 2nd birthday party she had fun for all of 5 minutes then proceeded to cry and twist to be picked up and cuddled whilst the other kids ran round, danced to music, played games. We left after 30 mins and the second we got out the function room, she was happy.

Other examples, out shopping. You see other kids sat in their pushchairs happily looking around, taking stuff in. Mine? After 15 minutes she reduces to a huff.

Wtf do I do.

My 18 month old is exactly the same.....my older two weren't like that at all so it's not your parenting, it's just typical toddler behaviour!! I'm just patiently waiting for this stage to pass......

I think first you need to be kinder to yourself. All kids can be huffy. Is it possible she is overwhelmed? Both parties and supermarkets can be a bit much, the lights, the sounds, the people can all have an effect. Is there any way to distract her? That may be all it takes. Is it worth looking at small ear defenders for her, I know you can get them for toddlers but not sure how small they go.

I know it seems like everyone else's poppits are perfect but Please please please trust me when I say this. That is the furthest thing from the truth.
That little "Angel" you saw in Tescos could have thrown a wobbler 10 minutes earlier. You don't even get a of a fraction of what their real life is like. Its very easy, very easy indeed for people to paint a perfect picture.
You only live with your own child.
Also I do think you need to take into account She's 17 months old. She's a little baby. Honestly you're doing great.

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I just find it SO hard sometimes as it seems no matter what I do, however simple or exciting it's only entertaining for all of 5 seconds!

Just feels like I'm doing something wrong. I'm always thinking because this is my first child that I'm doing it wrong anyway!

Thank you for your kind responses x

It sounds like your dd may be sensitive to noise and crowds. My dd was like that as a toddler and never really enjoyed parties and groups or busy shopping trips. She hated hand driers! I would avoid busy, noisy outings and stick to quieter times and places for shopping and if you do have to go to a party dont feel bad about her wanting to stay with you.

@Runnynosehunny maybe you're right. I actually think the thing today at the party was because it went dark. It was fine when it was light but they closed the curtains for the disco and that's when it went a bit down hill.

Although, on the flip side I'm sure she only really acts up when she's with me and her dad. At nursery etc there's never an issue.

Some children are just hard fucking work I’m afraid

I longed for sunny, compliant little kids (I’m lead to believe that they exist) whereas my first child ages two could start a tantrum in an empty room. God forbid we were out with the buggy and needed to stop to cross the road, because she’d kick off.

The second at the same age was never more than three seconds from a whinge no matter how happy he appeared at any given moment.

In your DD’s defence, parties can be overwhelming for kids, especially as toddlers. I can’t tell you how many Reception age parties I attended with kids sulking, clinging to parents and refusing to take part.

She is probably the same at nursery though, the difference is there are probably 19 other toddlers also being twisty and grumpy and they recognise it's normal 😁 Sounds about right for her age though. My grandson is about that age and whilst adorable he is mostly hard work if the mood is upon him. They are just a big ball of frustration really aren't they ? Even she probably doesn't know what she wants. It will get better soon as she gets older, hang on in there I'm sure you are doing great.

Yes!!!!! Do we have the same child?! When the pushchair is moving there is no issue, but the second it stops for even a fraction of a second, there is hell on!!!

It's refreshing to hear others go through the same. I mean, probably somewhere deep down I know it's normal, but whenever I'm anywhere everyones kids seem SO well behaved. Except mine.

It's nice (in the nicest possible way) to hear other people are dealing with this too!!

I'm starting to think maybe I'm not handling it in the correct way

Thanks so much @statetrooperstacey

You're helping me stay sane!