It's my MIL...

[avocadoincident]

Just in the last week my MIL has bought 8 low cost (under £5) pressies for our 7mth old DD.

The presents are things we don't want or need. I like to call them crap and tat. Every time she goes to the supermarket she picks up something.

I sound ungrateful but I don't want to amass tonnes of stuff that is not needed. I'd rather her save her money or put £3 in a jar each time and let's put it in the baby's savings account or buy something worthwhile/useful.

DH agrees but how would you get the message across?

I think you’re a miserable, ungrateful person TBH. Your MIL clearly loves having a grandchild and you should be very happy that she’s so kind and interested.

Thanks MIL, that’s very thoughtful of you. Maybe in view of gifts you could set up her first bank account?
When ever you feel like buying a gift you could contribute a pound or two to the account. Think of her joy at 18/21 when you can show her her savings and plan a holiday/car/ event with her?

Actually get hubby to say it.

I'd never demand anything. Maybe we will just give the gifts on so not to offend her.

Maybe I am being ungrateful but we don't have the space to store things we do want and need let alone a constant drip feed of things we don't

It's for dh to say something.

I hate tat so I totally get it, it's such a waste and has an environmental impact. I wish the money wasn't wasted in the first place.

You haven’t got The space? I remember having a massive tantrum just after Christmas (and all the excess that entails with my family) when my DH brought even more shite into my house. Luckily it was just to him, as I would not want to appear ungrateful to anyone else 😜, but I just hate stuff. No advice really OP, but yeah, you can’t really ask for money instead, just let her buy her shite (for her house) and you can set up the bank account.

I don’t think this is kind of mil! It’s annoying and unnecessary (we have the same issue with mil, still ongoing 18 months later - she’s now switched to second-hand toys from Gumtree aaargh!)

Get DH to have a word. If she ignores him (like my mil) tell her to keep the gifts at her house (like we do) or just charity shop them.

Good idea about keeping them at her house

We just say ‘for when we visit’. Means she’s amassing all the crap at hers. My mil’s living spaces are quickly looking like a car boot sale explosion!

Yes keeping at her house is an excellent idea. We did that with in laws and it worked - plus the dc had something to play with when they babysat 😀

My mil is the same, it's been going on for years (eldest is 9) and I have 3 kids! She has wasted so much money over the years.

We have gently told her to stop many times (I would much rather some pocket money instead, or better quality things less often) but I think she just enjoys pottering around the shops finding things for them.

You're not ungrateful as a PP said - you just don't want your house full of tat that will break as soon as you breathe on it, and then contribute more plastic to landfill!

Keep them at nannies house. Rinse and repeat. I think people don't get it unless they also have the same issue. We have a small house and 4 grandparents who did this (mostly second hand stuff that hadn't been cleaned too, my daughter got a megablocks trolley for Christmas last year that was full of black dust and dog hair 🤢 I'm perfectly fine with seconds hand and buy loads in charity shops, but ffs clean it first). We got to a point where we were filling a one of those massive ikea or the big lidl/home bargains bags every 3-6 weeks with Stuff before we started either declining it or sending it back with them, they've now all calmed down a bit thankfully but it took a while. Now it's a charity bag every 2-3 months but that's more manageable at least! We only take what we think she'll enjoy now!

I really hate this attitude that we have to be grateful for everything we are given, I refuse to be made to feel guilty for my parents addiction to buying Stuff anymore.

Thank you for not making me feel like an ungrateful cow! I just feel in this age of refuse reuse recycle that there's more ways to show our love than through the medium of plastic commercialism