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sibling problem

4 replies

mossyroundhill · 15/11/2018 16:45

Posted here for traffic. Will try not to drip feed!
Can someone please give me some advice on how to stop DD getting in DS's face all the time? She is 3, DS is 4 months. I want to make a point of saying that she is an articulate, affectionate child and (as much as a 3 year old can be) aware of the feelings of others. She's very happy, we have a settled home and she's not been lacking of any affection since DS was born- she helps feed him, change his nappies, get his clothes etc. and we've made sure we have quality time with her on her own as well, we've also made a point of saying to DS things like "wait a minute, DS, we're just going to get DD's lunch" etc. so she knows he is not a priority to us.
But dear god the way she gets in his face is driving me insane. She's centimetres from his face, almost going cross eyed, and just seems to shriek and shout at him? But it's so rough, she almost headbutts him sometimes. And if we're playing with him and we ask her to join in, she'll grab his arms and jerk them around or squeeze them so hard.

Please, please don't tell me that she's only 3. I know she's little, I know she's excited, I know it's all new and it's been a big change for her. I feel guilty enough writing it out because it looks trivial. But this is from the minute he wakes up, every spare second, I've also caught her trying to poke him in the eye and this morning pushing a bit of apple in his mouth.
I've tried showing her how to be gentle, I've given him to her for cuddles (with me holding him too) so she can see how he's smaller than her. We've talked about how she would feel if someone was close to her all the time, we've told her he can't see her properly when she's so close. We've given loads of praise when she's moved back and spoken to him properly, and pointed out that he smiles at her when she does this because he can see her. Just doesn't work, and frankly I'm so sick of parroting "that's too close, DD" several thousand times a day.
Anyone have anything that's worked, or is this just going to happen until they're both teenagers and can't stand the sight of each other?

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 15/11/2018 18:35

Oh, so hard for you! Keep doing what you already are doing.
Maybe involve her a bit less? So that DS does not feel like 'hers' as much, if you get me?
Worst case scenario, explain to her firmly but kindly that if she will not give DS a bit of peace, you will have to put him in his cot, in his bedroom and shut the door so that she cannot go in. When he cries, you will have to go in, and she will not be allowed in. OR she will have to go in her bedroom and play in there by herself for a while while you deal with DS and he gets a bit of peace elsewhere. Expect the pearl-clutchers will shout at me, but that's what I'd do. This could be why playpens and babygates were invented. To keep the siblings apart! Wink

Singlenotsingle · 15/11/2018 18:46

Bluetrews agreed. That sounds reasonable. Try it, OP.

mossyroundhill · 15/11/2018 20:23

Thank you, I will try that :)

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BitchyChuckle · 15/11/2018 20:35

What the others said!

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