Potty Training and Imminent Doom

[SofaSearcher]

I cannot stand it any more. I am at my wits' end.

DD1 (now 6) was potty trained at 2.5, quickly and - apart from the odd accident - easily. (It didn't feel like it at the time, but retrospectively, it was so.)

DD2 turned 3 this month. We tried potty training her over the summer but she started crying and withholding her poos, so we felt she wasn't ready and we'd try again later.

I have now been potty training her for four weeks (including an entire half term spent indoors). She will wee on the potty if put there, but will not tell me she needs to go. So I can sit her on the potty every 30 minutes and no accidents, but if I leave it for an hour, she will wet herself.

She will tell me the poo is coming (yay!) but then seems to get scared and will try and jump off the toilet, saying it's gone away again. I have tried giving her a book/toy to sit and play on the potty or toilet, but she forgets to focus on the poo and just sits there playing.

I have tried making her blow bubbles on the toilet. She usually just spills the bubble mixture.

After jumping down from the toilet, she will then sneak off into the playroom and poo in her pants/pull-ups.

We have read endless copies of Princess Polly, Everybody Poos, Zoo Poo, Poo Goes Home to Pooland and so on. I have tried reward charts, bribery, persuasion (may have rashly promised Disney World earlier today to no avail - thankfully). I have even tried getting a tiny bit cross, but she is just not making progress.

She is bright in other ways - I would be less worried if she were behind the curve generally, but I'm beginning to think I just want to give up and try again when she's 18.

Any tips gratefully received.

Aah no tips just checking in as nearly 3yo ds will tell me he needs a poo but will happily wet his pants and sit / walk around in it without uttering a word. This has been going on since summer too, he won't go on the toilet or potty if I suggest / ask, so we're back in pull ups as I was promised by the experts (dm and mil) that he'd only wet himself once and learn.

If only they were all uniform models who read the manual and knew how to do it how we want them to, eh.

I cannot stand it any more. I am at my wits' end.

After jumping down from the toilet, she will then sneak off into the playroom and poo in her pants/pull-ups.

I felt the same way when trying to potty train my 3 year old who did exactly this. She had some very memorable poos in department stores too.

If it's any help, she's now 15 and she hasn't pooed in her pants for more than 11 years now.

Patience is your friend. There isn't a right answer as what works for one won't work for another. For us the breakthrough was when I spotted her squatting down, whipped off her pants and got a potty under her.

Have you tried magic step with feet on it, front of the potty to make pooing easier?

Bing seems to make my DD poo every time.

@Stupomax I know, I know, patience, patience. It's not a key skill, I'll admit.

At what point do I admit defeat and put her back in nappies, or do I just keep plugging away for the next twelve years?

I had the same with Ds last week. He went 6 hours without a wee so I know he can ‘hold it’ but he can’t seem to do it. It’s like he thought the aim of the game was to not wee at all, ever.

Back in nappies this week. I was worried he’d give himself a kidney infection and after four days cooped up in the house I was worried I’d start rocking back and forth and speaking in tongues.... we are trying again on Monday!

There’s no harm in going back to nappies, I’m amazed you’ve managed this long. She’s clearly not quite ready.

I guess the reasons I'm reluctant to put her back in nappies are.

1. We have already admitted defeat once, and put her back in nappies. I think it must send a confusing message (and possibly the message that "if I just keep failing to potty train long enough, I'll get my own way")

1. A thread earlier this week on MN where a poster was asking about their 3 year-old not being potty trained yet, and everyone piled on saying 3 was way too late, and people were astonished she'd left it that long.

There is a gap in the market for someone to take my 3 year-old away for two days and bring her back potty trained. I'd pay at least £2000. At this stage, I'd ask no questions about method either!

We did not put DD back in nappies, but for several months we did throw away a ridiculous number of pairs of pants.

I do remember it really helped to talk to others who were going through the same thing, and realise that it wasn't all that weird for a 3 year old to not be fully potty trained.

It also meant that when her younger brother took fecking years to stop wetting his pants I was less stressed about it all (he just couldn't be bothered going to the toilet as he had far better things to be doing).

There is a gap in the market for someone to take my 3 year-old away for two days and bring her back potty trained. I'd pay at least £2000. At this stage, I'd ask no questions about method either!

Yes! I felt exactly the same way.

I trained my dd in the summer holidays it’s now November, she has just turned 3 this week and is in pull ups. With me and her grandparents she is fine in knickers, when she goes to the childminders she wees herself because she ont say l need a wee and says no when asked if she wants to go.......so annoying, but there’s worse things l suppose. (I tell my self this about everything though.

My daughter wasn't trained until after 3 and I personally found it was a lot easier to train her as her understanding and language was better. She took to it almost immediately although there were obviously times where she was scared to use the toilet or hear the flush go. But with persistence we got there. I posted about it earlier in the year about my fear of potty training her.

Each child is to there own and they develop differently. Don't let others judge you on how old they are when they do.
Do what's easiest and best for you and your DD. I agree that once you have started, you shouldn't go back.

Good luck x