How does this work?

[hotchocmarshmallows]

I was thinking today about what would happen when my father dies and where he would be buried. I am NC with him and have been for a number of years as he is an extremely abusive and and toxic person. My beautiful and much loved mum died many years ago whilst still married to him. She absolutely hated him and I'm sure she wouldn't want to have him next to her for eternity. She was cremated. How does this work? I also would not want to visit his grave ever whilst visiting my dear mum. I have no idea what his plans are but he's so twisted I wouldn't be surprised if he was planning on being placed in her grave.

unless he has left clear instructions in his will, I think you can do what you like.
You can even have a cremation without a service and without anyone present. You may even be able to ask them to dispose of the ashes (not sure about that)
If not, and you have to dispose of them, you can dump them in the bin if you like!

You don't have to have a grave stone, if a person is cremated, it is a memorial stone, and not even necessarily where their ashes are, as you can chose to scatter the ashes somewhere else.

and I think (but this is just me thinking) that unless he 'owned' your mum's grave, that you can't bury him on top of her without permission form her next of kin, which in this case is you

Thanks for your response. I think he probably will own it that's what's worrying me. He's such a toxic bastard that even at her funeral he was wailing like he cared (and mattered). If he's left something in his will and he owns the plot does that mean I can't stop this?

sorry, I don;t know.
You could ask the crematorium where mum is buried, I bet they have questions like this all the time, and it would save you going to a lawyer.