Why can't I sleep until my husband is home

[twelv]

If my husband goes out for an evening, I cannot sleep until he's back. We've been together 4 years! It's so annoying. It also leads to unreasonable arguments when he's home late etc.

My DH is a chronic snorer. The only decent sleep I get is when he's out .

I wouldn't like arguments if I get home later than expected. I'm an adult and not on a curfew. Being woken up sometimes by noise is the price you pay when living with somebody. Whether it's a flatmate, family member or partner.
Find coping strategies for getting off to sleep without him (ear plugs/sleep mask/meditation/seperate room that night).

I would hate it if I couldn't be late if he couldn't sleep etc too. It's so unreasonable and I do try to relax!

My OH has the same problem but I don't. If he's out or away I sleep fine but he can't settle or sleep properly until I'm home.

Oddly though, when he tried to fix his snoring with breathright strips, I couldn't sleep because I couldn't hear his sleepy noises. He had to stop using them, it was like sleeping with a warm corpse in the bed.

Ooh, this is me! DH doesn't believe me because the minute I hear the key in the door I'm out like a light. No issue over time, as he calls me when he's on the train.

For me, it's a throwback to childhood. I could never sleep if my Mum was out. With her, the car on the drive was my key to go to sleep. I'm sure she subliminally encouraged it. She always offered to come and collect me and my mates from nights out, saying she wouldn't go to bed till I was home. Fond memories of pissed teenagers in the back, pretending to be sober!!!

I will be the same when DC are going out. Although, probably worse!

Because you luffs him

See we're the opposite. He can't sleep if I'm out but I sleep no problem though I do wake around 3 and if he's not back id phone or message to see where he is. Then back to sleep once I know.

Why do you argue if he's later?

@tinatsarina What about if he didn't answer?

My dh works nights, it took me a long while to get used to him not being at home. Now I’m ok about it, I do admit to being a tad paranoid and have increased Home security.

I have to admit when he’s home now it drives me batty

I also find it hard to sleep when I'm the only adult at home, sometimes when I'm the last adult awake. When other adults are here I can sleep like a rock, but without them I struggle to get to sleep and wake at steps in the house.

I remember being a teen when my father was gone for weeks and I did the same thing - would lay awake feeling really tense and jumping at every sound (old house that made a lot of sounds and I knew didn't some of the windows didn't lock up well) and, slept so much better when my older brother was in the house as he was a night owl so was always up when I went to bed.

I only really recognized it when we got a lodger and I found I was sleeping better with him in the house when my spouse was at work at nights but it made so much sense in hindsight. As my spouse works nights it has gotten a bit odd sleeping with him in the bed - especially in the summer as he's a human radiator - but having him in the house is so much better.

Been with my husband for 22 years. I cant settle till he’s in bed. Even if he’s only in the other room!

I sleep so much better when dp is out 😂 he works a rotation of shifts thay can change one day to the next. He's mastered coming to bed without disturbing me or the kids.

If he says he'll be home at x time and isn't then lock the door, go to bed and assume he's staying out a bit longer 🤷🏻‍♂️ if he said he'd be home at y time would that be okay even though it's later because that's the time he'd specified? I couldn't imagine being with someone who would argue with me about what time I came home, if I said I think ill be home about 11 then it means, I'll be home after your bed time ill see you in the morning 😂

@twelv if he didn't answer I'd phone a few times then message a friend he was with but I'd go back to sleep

I’m the same, but it’s not because I miss him, it’s because if I’m woken I find it really hard to get back to sleep. When he goes out, I usually put the DS’s in my bed and he sleeps in one of their beds.
We sometimes do the same when I go out, but he’s a deeper sleeper than me.